awkward situation, seriously??

[C_J_4]

Ok me and husband both brought children from previous relationship so I have 2 amazing step-sons, we're expecting a baby girl in july well my issue is his ex thinks she has some connection to our baby its weird she even made the comment to his sister he couldn't give her a girl so she's wanting to be involved with ours.... um im not at all ok with this neither is he I was never involved with my step-siblings mom I think its awkward.  Is there some guidelines to this stuff?? I might add we have no family functions together not even birthdays everything is done separately. The boys are very involved and love it there excited for baby sister but I dont think she should be wanting to be involved. Sorry long im not very good with words and just not sure how to put this.

[Sophiajojo]

I think its very weird. My daughters father had two chikdren from a previous relationship.  I was civil with her. And the children were obviously involved and still are 9 years later. However their mother has never tried to be involved with my daughter. Its not really her place.  I would be straight with her as this is your baby...and if she never had a girl that is nothing to do with you so she needs to leave it alone.  Maybe one day one of her sons will have a daughter and she can have a grand daughter.  Goodluck

[C_J_4]

Thanks ladies I just didn't know if maybe I was over sensitive but I think im ok saying its weird, and thanks for the info about making a list of people for hospital hubby agrees we should do that and he is gonna try to nicely tell her she needs to respect how we want things and hopefully she will just understand and not make a fuss.

[rainfamily16]

Wow that is weird!! Put your foot down and let her know how you guys feel! I am very careful with who gets to be around my kids and how close they get to be!! I've heard way to many horror stories, its scary knowing there is so many weirdos in this world!!! But don't let yoursrlf go crazy with worry lol just be bold and safe :) good luck hope it all goes well for you!!

[SaSa28]

I know trust me I get it. My mom is phyco. And I feel the samee way. You dont have to let her come to the hospital and hold your baby. Infact its such a special time for you and baby, no one you dont wamt there should come. I had my first child with 2 people invite themselves to my delivery.  I still feel violated about it. Have a seat and write out who you want to visit you and baby in the hospital.  Then give it to the hospital staff with your delivery plan. They will make sure no one that is not on that list  comes in. Its the privacy act, they will not even let people call and ask about you with out your concent. Its important for you to have a good baby moon with your little one  so plan it out and share your plan.

[C_J_4]

Rite I agree, I just dont think she should come to hospital and shouldn't expect me to let her hold her, its not a comfortable thing for me and I wouldn't expect or even want realy to be involved if my ex husband had a child with his new wife. I just cant wrap my head around her being involved with our daughter..

[SaSa28]

I get how that feels. My mom said my son was the son she was ment to have, when he was born. Ya right! Anyways. Your situation is a little different then mine. You both are involved in her sons life. And even though right now you dont do anything together, there will come a time, big events in the boys lives, graduation, marriage,  grand kids. It would be easier if you find a way to get along. However when it comes to you daughter. Make it clear to her that she can be a family friend but she in no way will be like unto a mother figure to your daughter. Mixed families are very complex in order to make things work in the best interest of the kids you need to be flexable as well as set strong boundaries.  Good luck!