blending family

[chanieb]

Ok I'm 24 weeks pregnant and I've been with my husband for 4 years. He has a 4 year old daughter, we started dating when she was 9 months old. They broke up when she was pregnant(long story). Anyway his ex tried to keep his daughter away from him in the beginning but after taking her to court she was forced to let us see her. So his daughter is 4 now and we get her every weekend. I have a 8 year old son from a previous relationship and my son was 4 when my husband first came into our lives. My main problem is I feel like he treats the kids differently and it drives me crazy. He's continuously telling me I baby my son and he's always fussing at him about something or telling me negative things about him. I also feel like he gets annoyed whenever he tags along with him like he's a bother. But he's quick to throw anything he does with him back in my face like see I do this and that.  Meanwhile when his daughter comes on the weekends she's completely different it's all about what she wants. He expects EVERYONE to cater to her. Which is fine to a point. But recently I noticed my son acting annoyed and rude towards her and I pulled him to the side and asked him what was going on. And basically everything he touches or plays with she grabs or cries for so he ends up never having anything to play with. So when I bring things like this up to my husband his answer is always well she's only here on the weekend so he should give it to her or she's only 4!! So I'm pretty much at the point where when she comes over now I bring my son to my parents house because I'm sick of him making excuses. I feel like he feels guilty he's not around during the week for her or maybe he's scared she might go home and tell her mom he was mean to her. But something has to give because I'm not going to allow my son to be treated this way anymore. I've suggested therapy but he ways acts like he doesn't want to hear anything I have to say about the subject. Sorry this way soooo long but I really needed this off my chest...  

[jbenson112010]

I know exactly how that is!! Only my son is the 4yr old who we have 24/7, my fiances two kids are 5 and 7 and we get them every other week. I bring it up continuously how much different he treats my son then his kids usually he says it's because we always have him verses his two so when his kids are there heed rather be their best friend so that they won't not want to come over. It's crap! I have seen all three kids in trouble at the same time for the same thing and usually my son always ends up with the worse punishment. Honestly, this is the only thing my other half and I fight about!

[MrsFlyByrd]

Sounds like u need to have a talk about everyone feeling equal then calling a family meeting, getting a understanding and agreeing this is how it will be from now on, this is ur life, ur Family and ur son shouldnt have to be sent away because that is HIS home as well an he should be comfortable too, he should have his toys and she have hers,family dates and family night,compromise. It has to work. Good Luck....

[chanieb]

Thank you for those suggestions...I tried writting down how I feel because that works for some reason sometimes with us. So we'll see how that goes. And I'm also making sure I'm not letting this go until something changes

[bebexbella]

Im sorry to hear that and its good to vent! Have u tried to negotiate terms with your husband? For example (not a good one but) when your daughter comes for the weekend, there should be certain rules that apply such as sharing otherwise no one gets to play with it at all. Or say u deal with his daughter and he deals with ur son. Or even have a third neutral person handle the children so there are no biases. Some ideas, not great ones, but it definitely is best to talk it over with your husband. Good luck!