dealing with an addict

[abiandgabi_mom]

My husband smokes marijuana and takes pain pills everyday. I try not to be judgemental because i did too when we met. Now we have  7 & 8 yr old girls & a boy due in aug. I quit doing drugs with 1st pregnancy & just never got back into that. He is so hard to deal with when he runs out of his stuff, for me & girls. He is mean & snaps at us. It is so unfair that we have to deal with this so many times over the years... i dont know what to do about it

[elvendork]

there is Al-anon it is like AA for people with addicts in their family

[abiandgabi_mom]

Thank u all so much!! & sammie85 i will keep u in my prayers too

[azmommy711]

My bf quit smoking marijuana easy. He didn't have any withdrawals or anything. with baby coming he needed to quit to save money. He's been sober for about a month now and he can be around it without doing it or even wanting to. Pills is a different story. He will need treatment since he obviously is addicted and that's what is making him snap. Pain pills are very addictive and that's what he needs help with.

[Sammie85]

Oddly enough this was me a year an a half ago...I had two girls 7&8 and a little boy on the way and I was also dealing with my husbands addiction (alcohol) on a daily basis...id love to give you the happy ending story but unfortunately im still dealing with it while im pregnant with our 4th child...ive tried the understanding supportive approach because I was once in his shoes but with pills but all that has done is enable him. He's never going to stop as long as im still standing by his side supporting him an neither is your husband...I wish you and your babies all the luck I truly hope that you will get that happy ending...

[stonepigeon]

I don't want to sound like a negative nelly, but I'm speaking from experience. I never did pills but I had other addiction problems (self harm, smoking, drinking), my sister also had addiction problems (hard drugs). Both of us had our family trying to help us. It's sad but unless a person is truly ready and willing to change they won't. Everyone's reasons to change are different. All you can do is be there for them, and understand even if they want to change they're going to relapse a few times. That being said you have two kids and a baby on the way. You have to decide what's best for you guys as well. There's no easy answer, and it's beyond difficult what you're going through.  I'm sorry and wish you the best. If he's open to therapy it may help as a start just to get an unbiased third person's opinion for him to hear.

[LionsPride]

You need to not deal with it.  Be strong enough and love him enough to not tolerate him mistreating himself.  There are some things In my life I have a zero tolerance for.

[abiandgabi_mom]

Thank you!

[Alkali13]

This sounds like a few people in my family, and depending on how bad he is, treatment might be the only way to go.  :-/  It's scary to think about, but if he gets clean now while your children are still young, your lives will be so much better.  As they get older, they'll figure out what's going on if it continues.

[abiandgabi_mom]

Thank y'all so much!

[sjpolo]

Pain pills can be very addicting and when a person runs out there's no limits. Would u say he withdrawals if he doesn't have them? If so the only way to help is treatment. And if he's not willing to do that it will only get worse.

[Huni_b]

on one hand I feel like saying he needs to be given an ultimatum, on the other hand you could explain to him all the things you've had to give up during each pregnancy n how much it wud mean to u if he did too, but I'm sure u've done that.

maybe u cud start with limits, only a certain number of cigarettes or joints a week, booze only on weekends etc. see how he reacts. everything in moderation u see, until he becomes ready for the next level of further reduction. idk.

my husband offered to stop drinking because I stopped smoking and drinking. but I told him I dont mind as long as he stays sane and only drinks on weekends.

[abiandgabi_mom]

Bump