extremely depresssed

[irishangel4]

Im a first time mom and it was a surprise pregnancy. Im 11 weeks and im soooo depressed. Im also having anxiety attacks all the time. Everyone else is thrilled my fiance and our families....but not me. Im afraid i wont love the baby. Is this normal? What if i hate the baby and regret having it? I never really wanted kids so im really scared. People say as soon as i see it i will fall in love but i juat dont understand it. I just feel like i will hate it because i didnt want it.

[irishangel4]

You people dont know maybe i was on birth control and it failed so dont act condesending towards me im not a ****** idiot i know how babies are made. If i didnt want kids i wouldnt just have unprotected sex and not so anything to prevent it geeze.

[irishangel4]

Yes i know there are plenty of ways to prevent it....you dont know what i was doing to try to prevent it so dont act like i wasnt trying to prevent it!!! Sometimes accidents happen i wasnt being careless.

[blessedmommy209]

Agree with moji07, plenty of ways to have prevented this pregnancy if you knew u didn't want children!! I absolutely hope your feelings change towards the baby because it's not the baby's fault..

[monuhm]

This is a huge huge huge change in your life and I have had the same feelings through my entire pregnancy.  I got more and more excited and its not like you don't think you won't love the little one. you are anxious about being a mom and not being enough for them and you know what that's normal in my eyes.  You have made the choice to raise this little one and that is very daunting.  Don't beat yourself up take care of yourself and find some easy to read books that inspire you.   I read "kind momma" and it totally helped keep me positive.  Take this journey one day at a time and surround yourself with support.  But most importantly don't allow those anxieties to ruin your experience.  Its just thoughts in your head and you can have postive ones too!

Best of luck and congratulations!

[moji07]

I agree w sass508 that no one will change the way u think now and it takes ur own power of mind to change what u feel... I never wanted children... the only reason I thought about it was because I felt pushed by my family to have at least one. That was in my 20s. Now that I'm 30 I said to myself well now it's the chance, either I have one or don't and I ended up pregnant. I am scared because yea my freedom will be taken away I was so used to just being responsible for myself but I didn't do anything to avoid getting pregnant and there are many options out there now. So sorry to say this, u obviously had ur options too. So it's not a surprise if u had unprotected sex and u ended up pregnant it's only common sense. Talk to professionals and work on accepting the idea... I know it's pretty scary and rollercoaster of emotions being pregnant but really at the end no matter what anyone tells u, u r the only one who can change this phase of ur life into a positive experience. Good luck

[Czechgirls]

I understand how you feel and I felt exactly the same way. I have been married for five years and have a two year old. I am currently 30wks. This pregnancy was a complete shock. I actually thought my life was over for a little while. I love my family of three and never wanted to have another. I was crying so hard I couldn't even get the words out when I was trying to tell my husband. Insult to injury he was actually excited. I some how felt betrayed like this. Almost like he wasn't on my side? It took me until week 20 to even be okay with the idea of pregnancy. And only recently have I become excited. That being said I still have my moments of feeling like my world is being taken away from me. Only because I was so happy with the way things were. I want you to know it will get better. And you will absolutely love your baby when you can feel them inside of you. Good luck and God bless.

[BonitaMichelle]

Im 14 weeks and I hate being pregnant.  The same thoughts go through my head. I dont love the baby right now and i fear I never will. I dont know if I wanted kids but i know I didn't want one right now. Im not happy or excited about being pregnant. I dont believe in abortion nor do I have the guts to kill a baby. I also hate pain and discomfort. I think I will be mad at the baby for hurting me during labor. So I hope my feelings change after the baby gets here.

[Sass508]

I don't think anyone is going to be able to convince you that you should be happy. Either you are or you're not. However, it is really early for you to feel any bond with the baby. It usually gets better after week 12 and once you see the baby on an ultrasound and start feeling the kicks and then you find out the gender the bond does become more strong. some women don't even get that feeling until after the baby is born. I mean if you think about it how could you love someone you've never even met before?it's recommended thatif you're feeling depressed like you're describing it's important to talk to your ob tabout it

[rabeccarice]

You will be just fine all gym worry about that but as soon as you hold your baby it will all disappear

[Naki123]

I think it would be healthy to see a psychologist while pregnant. They can help with the anxiety of it all and help you understand and prepare for the baby... Your feelings a real, and not unusual. Ota important to keep your mental health as healthy as your physical health.

[Angie1722]

Once you have it you won't feel that way. You'll see it and you'll be overjoyed. My 1st pregnancy I was like that. I was very scared. But I look at her every day and feel pride no matter how bad she is. ..it's the best thing you can do.

[linnymay_81]

Once you start to feel the baby move you might feel differently. It kicks in then that there is a human being growing inside you. Also I recommend talking to ur Dr about ur feelings and he or she can help set you up with a program where u can talk to a post pardon councler. The changing hormones can make u feel this way.

[Ladylopez]

You should be really happy! Theres wpmen out there who want to get pregnant & they cant... Besides your baby can feel not wanted! If you are happy hes happy if you aredepressed he'll get depressed! Youll get through this in 3-4 more weeks i sware i felt the same wayy!!:o

[Kryara]

You are still dealing with the shock and in your position that is very normal. At 11 weeks it is very hard to bond with the baby as you've been feeling the more negative effects of pregnancy and it does not yet look like a baby on ultrasounds. I think once the pregnancy progresses and you begin to feel the baby and see it in scans then you will begin to feel more attached. I was once like you and did not think I would have children, however my husband really wanted a family so our daughter was planned. It took me a while to bond with her especially after a difficult delivery however I grew to adore her. I still am not fussed on other people's children (sounds terrible but unfortunately true) but I dote on my daughter and am now pregnant with our second. If you think counselling may help you then go for it, even for your own well being. You are not unusual for feeling detached and don't punish yourself for it.

[gemmap27]

Please dont worry im expecting my 3rd and it was very unplanned I have all the same worries as you but i know it will be fine. It is such a scary time i suffer with anxiety to which can make your worried thoughts magnified but i honestly think you will be fine and you will love the baby its a lot to take in and get your head around but all should slot into place and hopefully towards the end you will get excited for the new arrival. Just make sure any negative tgoughts are spoke with to someone or that could spiral in the wrong direction people are around to help its hard but so rewarding and time goes so quick. Good luck :) x

[angustia]

Wow... thats so sad that you dont want you're own baby, they are a miracle, they are the best that could ever happened to a woman. A pray that when you see that Angels face you will fall in love with him or her.