I feel like im doing the right thing.

[jessicaavalos]

When I was one month pregnant me and my baby daddy split up and he hasnt showed any interest of calling me or asking about his daughter im 30 weeks pregnant now and still nothing each time we talk we argue its stresses me out alot, im due in April 27th I dont want to give her his last name and thinking of putting him on child support as well , and I dont want to call him and let him now when im in labor either, I dont think im doing wrong but im not going to push no man to step up and be a father hes the one missing out and hes going to regret it not me , I need help do you guys thing im doing the right thing ? I need advice.  

[CSHAMBLIN]

Okay I will just say this, my first daughter I had at 18 I put the guys name on her birth certificate, and gave her his last ame. And with my second I didn't put him on the certific and gave my daughter my last name. With him not playing a part in either of their lives. I am married now and my husband adopted my youngest daughter with ease. But with my oldest I was told her "biological" father had to sign over his right, even though she's 9 and he never sees or talks to her he refuses. He also is 30,000 dollars behind in child support. So just from my experience I honestly would give her your last name, and don't put his name on birth certificate. It's been nothing but a hassle, and my daughter is the one suffering, she wants her last name changed and my husband's name on her birth certificate he has raised her for 7 years, and that's what makes a daddy to her. But because he so.t sign over his rights we cantake her happy. I hope that helps. Good luck, and being a single mom is wonderful, you will bond with her so much she will be your best friend.

[nayeliberto]

You are doing the right thing! I'm 29weeks right now and that's happening to me! The exact same thing, I tried and tried to make him realize that he has to step up and take responsibilities but he really doesn't care at all. We were so fine, we were together for 2 years and he always begged me to have a baby  and now that I'm pregnant he doesn't care? And all this time I've had a really bad pregnancy and constantly I'm in the hospital. And people tell him I am and he replys with "she's not my problem" well obviously I am his problem because I'm carrying his daughter. And I'm getting closer to my due date and he hasn't gotten anything at all. He hasn't help me, he just puts me down he says I need to stop being immature when he's the one going out and partying with girls. And I am not going to allow him to be walking in and out of my daughters life. He's either in her life, or he isn't. So he has a few more weeks to get his act together or she won't be having his last name. And I plan to raise her along with my mom that is very supportive. So you do what you think is right, you're the mom you know what's best for your baby. Don't listen to what he has to say later on. Because if he hasn't realize what he has now what makes you think he ever will? Love your baby until the very end and never let him hurt you guys.

[soon2bmomof4]

Ladies it doesn't matter what the child last name is as far as child support goes. Any state that you live in when attempting to collect child support will have to issue a paternity test to prove he is the father. Also just bc you don't collect child support does NOT mean that that the father doesn't have rights to his child! you need to get a parenting plan set up bc to be honest the father can at any point take your child and even go out of state without your permission bc he is the father! It's bs big time and I've dealt with it. Nothing police can or will do if you don't have a parenting plan! It's not kidnapping if it's their child! unfortunately you have to get a lawyer to do that. The state won't pay for it, but trust me it's worth it. Don't honor the father with giving your child his last name if he doesn't deserve it! It's just going to be a daily reminder of the dead beat if he ends up being one. File for child support! They need to help financially support your child bc trust me after 6 years of trying on my own living pay check tho paycheck it's not fair! Your child deserves everything in life and it's hard to be a sole provider and give them that.

[britt423]

Im doing the same thing. Except I hate my last name so she is taking his, and i dont want child support from him bcuz Im told that gives him rights to my baby if he ever feels the need to come after me. Im not telling him anything. YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING.

[jessicaavalos]

I  gave him two changes already , hes messed up twice , I am not going to keep letting him in and out my daughters life when ever he wants thats not right , I feel like im doing the right thing and im going to stick to my plan thanks ladys I really appreciate it yall opinion ,  its going to be hard but I have to do whats best for my daughter , and think about the future

[feliraquel]

I am in the same situation . I'm not giving my baby girl her father's last name but I am going to get a paternity test court ordered once that is established I'm am taking him to child support court he hasn't helped or showed any interest in his daughter so I have to take the steps to make sure he in their very least helps support her financially .you can't just do that to your child because your no longer with them mother . It's my baby's right and it's your baby's right to get child support I would say doit. Don't be scared like I used to be.

[kplumm]

I think you are doing exactly what you feel is right for you and baby. And with that said yes your doing the right thing. You have to do what you feel is in the best interest for you and baby. My mom gave me my dads last name and I hated it. He passed away when I was 8 and prior to that I saw him only 3 times. It was hard on me when my mom had my sister and gave my sister her last name. Now my whole family had the same last name except me. I agree 100% about putting him on child support. And make sure his name goes on the birth certificate just in case. If anything happenes to him and lord forbid he passed away, it will make rhings easier for you to prove he is her dad. That way you can get support from the state (worse case scenario though, I don't wish death to anyone). Good luck!!

[LiveLoveLifexx]

Me and my babys daddy havent been together since the start of my pregnancy but even tho he wants to be there for his daughter i just cant see him doing it when shes here. My baby is having my surname and i am in a new relationship with someone. Just go by what ur heart thinks best. Ur not a bad person by doing so :) good luck.

[AminaM1]

I  suggest just following your maternal  instincts. I know personally I gave my daughter her biological fathers name and she is about to be 12 and she hates it! She asks me to change all the time and hes still a dead beat since pre birth. I say think about how you and baby will feel especially if you marry and have a baby in the future  like me! Thats why my 12 year old wants her name changed she doesn't know her biological dad.ive been committed now for 10yrs and hes her"dad". But you can always change it later it costs but it can be done

[kiwi6511]

I would probably give him one last chance when you go into labor, maybe if he sees his baby being born something might change in him. But if he doesn't show up you can tell your baby that you aylt least tried to have him involved...

[abbb01]

Ive heard of ppl saying they had problems getting support when baby has different last name something to check on but if he doesn't want to be a dad u can't make him and it sounds like it wouldn't be worth the effort to try.  

[canadiana]

Absolutely give baby your last name. Not only does it make paperwork easier if you have the same last name, but if he's not being involved, he doesn't deserve to have the baby have his last name. And make him pay child support. It's his responsibility.

[behrsgirl]

I would say pit him on the birth certificate. Don't give that baby his last name.... If he wanted to be there he would!!!! And definitely put him on child support, he helped make her, now he has to help support her.... Best wishes and good luck

[jessicaavalos]

Thank you ladies is my first pregnancy so I just want was best for my daughter and I .

[dyingangel246]

You have it right. He is missing out and it's definitely not your fault he doesn't want to man up. Put him on cs and take of yourself and your little girl! Don't stress anymore.

[SaSa28]

You arw totally doing the right thing. You deserve better. Been my experiance in the 10 years ive been a parent it is easier on my own then to deal woth other people be it dady or my own parents.

I dont recoment giving baby dad's last name as that will open a can of worms. Good luck hun. And hey being a single parent rocks, well thats my opinion.

[SuperBatSpider]

Do what is right by you and your daughter. Definitely put him on cs.