feeling down..

[meekers94]

so tomorrows easter and its always been my favorite holiday but I dont even wanna celebrate it, even if I did I wouldn't even know where to celebrate it.. seems like ever since I got pregnant I just drifted from family will family drifted from me actually. I was living with my grandma when I first got pregnant but I was hardly ever there then some money issues came up and I have gave my grandma money .. tons of it here nd there but none of it went to bills I know she just gambled it away but didn't matter to me what she did with her money was not my problem. well I guess some bills were due but she didn't ask me for any help but complained to everyone how I wasnt helping her then her daughter, my aunt had the nerve to ask me for money when she owes me money to give to my grandma which made me mad cuz my aunt acts like she's so helping to my grandma and tries to play the hero. so me and her got into an argument over Facebook and she just told me to leave and I was the problem and I treat my grandma bad so it hurt my feelings and said I would. funny thing about it too was my grandma was acting funny towards me just acting mean and Im not the only one that lived there my aunts two other kids nd my sisters were staying with her but she was only acting some type of way to my sister nd I and being nice to my aunts kids and it made me mad so me n my sister packed up our stuff and left and I haven't really talked to my grandma since then or my aunt. I really don't know where this leaves us and honestly I dont care. so I started staying with my mom and that didn't last long cuz I heard she was complaining about me being there and just talking **** I mean her knowing I have no where else to go and she wants to talk **** behind my back im fed up I know its cuz im not throwing money at her but why shud I she just gambles it away nd doesn't even buy anything for my lil brothers & sister. she's a selfish person and always has been so I left and I hate how she tries to put on a show like shes a good mom and tries to be happy about my baby cuz its her first grandchild forget that my child isnt going to be anywhere near her at all if she really loved me or my child she wouldn't just treated me like she does ughh shes so sickening like geeeez im your own kid and you cant be a mom and help me out and my babys father is not even in the picture heard he got his other babymama pregnant again and idunno happy for them whatever but just makes me realize how lonely I am. like I seriously feel lost and dont even know what to do I been looking for apartments turning in apps but no call backs. I have family but I know I can only stay with someone for so long before they start to complain and it just overwhelms me like is this hows its going to be when my baby gets here? I feel like my baby and I are a burden to people and that makes me sad cuz I dont even feel loved and how am I suppose to bring someone into this world when I dont even want to be here myself. I love my baby they're all I really got kinda ***** that im all alone doing this idunno just one of those days.

[BeautyDefined]

Cherish that baby with all your heart and don't let anyone or this world get you down. Everyone needs someone else to help one time or another in their lives there's no wrong in that as long as your not taking it for granted. Keep pushing and praying. Ask God to see you through and he will. Hold strong and you will conquer and be a better mother than your own and have a right to say it. Words from my favorite song" ooo child things are gonna get easier, ooo child things will get brighter!!" :-)

[grizzlace]

I was in the same situation. My aunt is the reason i dont live with my gram. My mom didn't give a rats a$$ when i miscarried and i havent spoken to her in months. If you need someone to vent to, i'm here. Check your local rainbow house, hud, or united way. They help single mothers a lot. That is unwanted stress for you and the baby. Good luck.