sorry RANT!

[bigmamapagaza]

My mother was an awful mother.  She was always out with different men, leaving me, the oldest to take care of the little kids.  Now, that I'm grown, happy, and successful,  she insists on being there for each of my kid's births. Has been for the last. But I'm fed up! I dont want her at the hospital.  I dont want her holding my baby! Ive tried to tell her that I want the bonding time with the baby and my family but she just says it's tradition and it means a lot to her. Also, after 30 years, she still lives the same life of men, drugs, smoking and uselessness!  Help!!

[veronicadanner]

When our first one was born we told my mom and my MIL not to come to the hospital til we were in the other room and settled in. That didnt happen my mom and MIL almost had a fight in the hallway right after the birth. It was horrible. So our last boy we didnt tell anyone we were going to the hospital. We had the baby and waited a few hours to call. It was a much easier birth and not stressed at all. Thats what were doing with number three baby too. Good luck and its all about what u want dont worry about hurt feelings.

[bigmamapagaza]

Thanks everyone! I feel much better! :)

[junebaby2]

*guy. Not fiy

[junebaby2]

I had this problem too, except it was my MIL.  Nobody cared what I wanted.  I didn't know till afterwards that you can tell the nurses not to allow visitors! I spent my whole delivery worrying about offending everybody else while nobody cared if it offended me. My midwife knows now and already said she'll be the bad fiy and take the blame or say its medically necessary for no outsiders at the time.  I suggest you make similar arrangements because I tell you, after my first, I spent the whole sulking in my room and being pissed and feeling violated.  Save yourself from that.  Its YOUR day and YOUR moment.

[YoungLadyDay14]

Yea I didn't grow up with my biological mother and we are not close. My biological mother has actually got a lot better though since my daughter was born. She's a little different though. She has been married quite a few times & is a highly successful business woman. Her problem is u have to be scheduled in. I called her when I went into labor, but she didn't show up til right b4 I got discharged.

[mlt85]

Your mom sounds like mine.  With my first she decided to go shopping when I was in labor because she needed a new computer.   I had told my doctor I didn't want her in there. She showed up the moment I started pushing (she was intoxicated of course).  My doctor took care of the situation.   Just let your doctor and nurses know ahead of time.  

[bigmamapagaza]

I guess it's just hard because it's my mom, and I want that connection but she always disappoints me. Never bothers to ask or care or see my other kids. I'm just done giving her chances and I don't want to share this special moment with her!

[bigmamapagaza]

I could not tell her. But I'm friends with her on Facebook and I want to post something on there after. But.. maybe ill post something like a week after just so I can get home and comfortable before the drama starts again. :/

[jamiek63]

Our mothers sounds the same. But mine wouldn't ask to be present for the birth and thank goodness because I would have been furious.  Is it possible to just not tell her when you're going in to have your baby?  

[mckaylas_momma1018]

I agree... if you feel like she doesn't deserve to be in there... then dont let her... I didnt want anybody in the room except my husband when I delivered and that was just for modesty reasons... I'm sure if my mom had gotten to the hospital sooner I would have let her be in there... she was in the parking lot when my daughter was born and came in the room when they were weighing her and all that stuff they do where I couldnt see... I doubt she even noticed that I delivered the placenta while she was in the room.

[Lila0415]

Im not letting my birth mother in I don't care if she gets upset

[bigmamapagaza]

Good idea. I'll have to tell the hospital!  My brother's girlfriend had her baby and told the staff that she wasn't allowed and my mother threw a fit in the hallway and demanded to be able to go in. They made her wait and my mother made it sound like she was the victim! It just irritates me!

[wishes2891]

If she won't listen to you tell the hospital and they won't allow her in. I've not allowed my mother to see any of my kids. It sounds cold to people who had good or even halfway decent mothers but I don't care.