ladies what would you do? ???

[Theanna1989]

Hello ladies I'm 25yr pregnant with my second baby:) but this isn't about me. It's about my oldest sister she's 35 she took care of all of us when my mom would go to work.  And she called me to and asked me for my advice.  She's married to her husband they have 3 children andshe has another boy from a previous relationship before she met her current husband.  Well she had her last baby 4 yrs ago and was on birth control since than. Now her husband wants her to get pregnant again and try for another baby . The problem here is he beats her and talks a lot of crap to her. His done told her she's ugly fat and that she would never be pretty not even with dozens of makeup. And his done said this to her while his drunk.  But now he wants her to get pregnant >:/ I told her not to to leave him but she says its not that easy.  It makes me so furious angry I sometimes wish I wasn't pregnant and go to his house and beat him up. He takes advantage of her cause she's really short and don't know how to defend herself. I wish he would try to fight me. I'm not like her i will fight back with all i got. But i mean what would you ladies do if your sister was in this ugly situation

[Theanna1989]

Yeah true that too

[bump2015]

It's not easy to leave. Even if she wants to. Where would she go, how would she pay for all her children and herself, would he chase her? It's the "how" that makes it hard. And if she doesn't want to, no one can make her and if you try you'll just strain your relationship with her, making it harder for her to leave when she figures it out. She should start calling the police when he beats her, start building a case, consult with a lawyer (some lawyers to l do free consults), find a shelter. But none of that will mean anything until she is ready.
It's a sad situation. What she needs is support, not pressure from you. Your sister is not a weak woman, just a lost woman. Be there for her, offer to watch the kids whenever she needs, remind her you love her and are there for her no matter what.

[Theanna1989]

Well yes true that too. I just hope she's not stupid enough to get pregnant again be she told me she just got off birth control and he wants her to get pregnant again. Which I'm against of but if she does get pregnant I don't know I'm going to lose it because that mofo doesn't deserve kids.

[SeabeesWife2013]

Abused women don't always u first and hey can have a happy life outside of what they have. Mental abuse is strong motivation- brainwash even. You can't force her to do anything she's not ready to do. However no offense to your sister but if you're not calling services due to worry she will choose him not the kids- she shouldn't have them right now. If she can't see its a dangerous situation then maybe they need to be removed for the time being until she can get things settled. Hopefully she comes to her senses and does what I did- not tell him I'm leaving and when he went to work packed and left before he had a chance to get home. She needs to file for a protection order too.

[Theanna1989]

Yeah so true my husband has told me several times to stay out of it and not be involved but it's hard not to because she's my oldest sister and i love her. I don't want her children to be taken away from her because of my fault of calling cps but I will talk to her again I hate seeing her being treated like this

[mfayb]

She sounds like a weak women.  And I Don't say that to be mean. My mother was in a relationship like that with my dad and she left him multiple times amd always came back. She was weak. What she loved about him blinded her to the rest. Amd honestly as they said above you should use cps and if she chooses him over her children then they probably aren't safe in that home to begin with.

[peaches0329]

She needs to b asking for help w a divorce lawyer. That's no healthy relationship! I'm talking out of experience.  My husband and I seperated I was 1 day away from my divorce when I let him talk me out.of getting the divorce. He will never change his controlling abusive ways no matter how it affects him or the kids unless he understands how much hurt it causes. But unfortunately he doesn't care. God bless ur sister

[Theanna1989]

I'm scared she might choose her stupid husband over her kids. She has an older kid from a previous relationship and her current husband always called that kid a ******* and she never said anything to him about it.  And she even gave up her kid to my mom when she stated dating this man. It wasn't until a few years later she decided to take her son to live with them and by than my nephew didn't want to go with her he never called her mom he always called her by her name. To him his parents where my mom and dad

[KJV_always]

You could go drastic and report the issue to social services. They won't. allow her to stay if he does these things and in front of the kids. This way she has No choice I'm sure she would choose them over him.

[RockRose]

She doesn't want to leave him,  is why she doesn't leave.  

Sad.

[Theanna1989]

I've done told her. Every one in our family done told her too. I honestly don't know why or what goes through her head to stay with him his done hit her several times since being married which is like 16 yrs already. She says it's not easy but I mean I can't wrap my head around the fact she's staying with him when his done hit her in front of her children.  Called her names and all sorts of ugly things.  His an assess no women should deserve to get hit by a man the force is definitely not the same

[chloegc1023]

I would leave the man when he's least suspecting it.  I would take all my children with me too.  He doesn't deserve to be with a woman the way he's acting.  tell her to just LEAVE him!!!