Aa
is it wrong that I prefer my husband won't be in the delivery room??
So we talked about this at the begining of my pregnancy, he said, he thinks labor is traumatizing and he used to pass out during ob classes and he is not interested in cutting the cord and all that messy stuff!! ..so I thought, no problem, my mom will be with me in the room and he can wait outside until everything is done..
Lately, I felt like he started to change his mind and he wants to be there..but now, I am the one who feels uncomfortable with the idea..if he thinks labor is messy and gross , then I don't want him to see me in a way that will affect our sex life later or the way he looks at me!! I may be wrong..but that's how I feel..I think all the things he said initially, made me feel insecure about the whole thing ! What do you think ?
Lately, I felt like he started to change his mind and he wants to be there..but now, I am the one who feels uncomfortable with the idea..if he thinks labor is messy and gross , then I don't want him to see me in a way that will affect our sex life later or the way he looks at me!! I may be wrong..but that's how I feel..I think all the things he said initially, made me feel insecure about the whole thing ! What do you think ?
My bf thought it was going to be gross and messy and he thought he might pass out. I've showed him birth videos and he hated it. Bit when he saw me do it he cried with joy watching our son be born
And he still wants my vag
And he still wants my vag
Thank you all for your opinions and support..I feel all I need now is support and love..I feel that lately, he hasn't been able to give me all that..but I understand, I think he is worried and stressed about work, having this baby, having projects in the house,etc..I feel I need the kind of unconditional love my mom would give me..She is flying over in a week and stayinf with me for 3 months to help me with my baby..I love my husband so much, but sometimes, he doesn't have the right words to express his love or support for me..
Have him by your head. That's what I'm doing. I told my husband he wasn't allowed to see my vag opening or anything. He said he didn't wanna see that anyway.
Don't help him turn into a careless person keeping your husband out of the room not a good idea mami . Let him join and experience the very special moment he will appreciate you even more respect and love you. God be with you guys the day of your delivery
I just feel men should not complain about how awful its going to be for them to see, I think to stay by yourside is the little they could do considering you have to go through the experience and pain. To say they don't like to sight of blood is just a cop out. I know everyone is different and different things work for everyone but to say you can't be by your wife girlfriend etc side while they experience the hardest thing in their life is just not fair or respectful. Through sickness and good health!
I think if he expressed himself that way it's normal for you to feel that way..
I understand where you're coming from and you have to do what's right for you. You may find when the time comes and once you're in there, you'd like him there atleast for some of it or vice versa he might. Do what feels right for you, god knows labour is uncomfortable enough without any additional feelings you may have.
But just to share my experience, my husband was by my side and holding my hand with my first. He is generally squeamish but in that delivery room nothing bothered him. He did say it was scary and a little gross but found it an amazing experience. He hated that I was in so much pain and said it killed him because he couldn't do anything about it. I did ask him beforehand to stay by my head but when the nurse asked if we wanted to look when my son was crowning he did, it was me who wouldn't. I was a little mortified but he doesn't regret a thing. It changed nothing between us, in fact I felt more appreciated - certainly do in this pregnancy as he has already witnessed it from start to finish before and everything I have gone through in order to extend our little family.
Good luck and best wishes to you :)
But just to share my experience, my husband was by my side and holding my hand with my first. He is generally squeamish but in that delivery room nothing bothered him. He did say it was scary and a little gross but found it an amazing experience. He hated that I was in so much pain and said it killed him because he couldn't do anything about it. I did ask him beforehand to stay by my head but when the nurse asked if we wanted to look when my son was crowning he did, it was me who wouldn't. I was a little mortified but he doesn't regret a thing. It changed nothing between us, in fact I felt more appreciated - certainly do in this pregnancy as he has already witnessed it from start to finish before and everything I have gone through in order to extend our little family.
Good luck and best wishes to you :)
Just have him up by your head having a child is beautiful thing. I couldn't image not having my hubby in the room with me
My husband will let me know in detail exactly what he saw and how it's "traumatizing" but I think it also made us closer and it definitely didn't have a negative affect on sex or anything lol once I was in labor, I didn't care who the hell was looking at me and I even had a male doctor deliver my son which was not planned and anything I didn't want went down the drain because I just wanted the baby out! I was mortified when I was so numb down there my husband saw me pee! I didn't even know I had peed! Something we can laugh about now, but it's definitely thingsI never imagined having him see and 2 and a half years later I'm pregnant with our 2nd child and I know he'll be in the delivery room, and knowing him he'll say he won't look, but probably will haha good luck! :)
Our plan if I'm allowed to do a vaginal has always been to have him stay up by my head and when it gets to cutting cord he'll get involved. He doesn't need to see head emerging...I'd like him to not have that vision of my vagina in his memory. He's not sure how squeamish he is so he's OK with that. That's just us...everyone has to do what works for them. I want him up by my side holding my hand.
I was worried about my hubby, we weren't married when we had our son, but he stayed, wasn't fond of the blood etc but said it was the most incredible thing we ever saw. I'm divorced from my two daughters father, so was way more insecure when my son was born. It didn't change our sex life or how he viewed me in a negative way. Sometimes it teaches them to appreciate the miracle that is your body even more so. You both need to do what's going to be comfortable, but try to compromise. He may just decide to stay for labor and leave for delivery, which you also may be more comfortable with.
I think it's negative thought . Remember that they go through ups and down during your journey . Try to not be upset with him . It will sound more reasonable if your husband stay in the room with you instead of your mom. Don't u think ? Unless your culture says the opposite . Stay relax think positive hun
With my first my husband didn't want to be there and he ended up being there. Now it's our second and he said he wants to be there but not witness the delivery. He wants to be there while I'm in labor and exit when it's time to push he also says it's traumatizing and scary. So I totally understand him. So I decided to deliver by my self with the help of nurses and doctors. Plus everyone who was in the room when I had my first wasn't to much help at all. They all sucked . Sorry to say even my husband sucked as a support so no thanks. I just want peace while I deliver my baby girl.
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