sister is also pregnant. advice please

[julybaby1587]

I am 11 wks 3 days. I was SO excited to hear that my sister tested positive, too :) she is most likely 5 weeks. She will be going to the doctor relatively early because her last pregnancy ended sadly in a miscarriage before she even got to get first, 8wk appt. She will not get excited and the poor thing is so scared that the same thing will happen to her. I had fears about my own pregnancy and did a lot of research. I explained that she is no mor at risk of another miscarriage than I was, or why other woman who never had a miscarriage. I also told her That first trimester miscarriage are do to chromosomal issues and not her fault. I feel guilty about sending her my sonogram pictures or talking about my little one because she's so nervous about hers. I want to share my excitement about my baby and the excitement of hers. I guess I just have to wait until she hears the heartbeat. With her miscarriage, as i said She didn't make it to the first appt to see or hear baby. Unfortunately the pregnancy ended Before That. I keep encouraging her but she says very little about it. Am i selfish? What can i do to help her?

[koyama83]

I had a m/c in august and I'm 9 weeks now. My sister isn't currently pregnant but she is 8 years my elder and has a younger baby than I. When I told her I'm pregnant again she gave only an acknowledgment of the pregnancy and didn't say any more. I think that was an appropriate response for me because when my boyfriend keeps saying things about his future child I think to myself that I might be failing him and for all I know the baby is already gone. I'm feeling done talking about the baby until I have a good second trimester u/s...
I think that if you casually show her u/s and talk about your pregnancy in a humble way your sister will be fine with it. As long as she's not the selfish type she'll be happy for you.

[mommyhails]

My mom, sisters, and fiancé were the only ones that knew I was pregnant so it sounds like my family was in the same situation you are in. I'm sure as soon as she gets confirmation that her baby is healthy she'll start to relax and talk about her baby more...that is how it was for me at least

[mommyhails]

Honestly just don't talk about the future...distract her, treat her like she's not pregnant...I was at high risk for a miscarriage so I hide my pregnancy and I loved the fact that I didn't have to deal with people talking about my baby! Oh! And don't feel bad about showing her ultrasound pictures...I was told I was high risk of a miscarriage and literally the next day my family and I found out my sister was having a boy! I was sooooo happy for her! She wants to celebrate your baby with you...she just might not be ready to celebrate hers yet...does any of that help? I hope it does