thanksgiving

[lovebugwifey]

I'm in a very tough spot this year. it's the first year my husband and I have been married and the first of the major holidays we've spent together. both of our families live nearby, however unfortunately they don't really get along. my parents don't drink or smoke and are religious, his mom and her boyfriend are the complete opposite. the issue is this: we had agreed to go to my parents in the afternoon and then to his mom's that night. however, now my husband feels badly that he won't be nearly as hungry at night as he is in the afternoon and doesn't want to go to either place. after talking about it all day yesterday we decided the best thing we could do is go see neither family and do our own thing. that was going to be our plan for next year when our baby girl is here, but with her still cooking I just feel a little down about the whole situation. is anyone else going through something similar? any advice for a depressed mama? ): thank you, happy holidays ladies.

[bsjolie]

We take turns with the holidays
We plan to go to my parents on thanksgiving day and then the following day we celebrate at his parents. It works well to do this for us.

[ashjo1983_30]

The holidays are not about food they are about being with family and spending time together.  With you being pregnant everyone is going to want to see the both of you and spend as much time with the both of you as possible. So stick to your plan and I agree eat sensible don't over stuff yourself at either place have small portions and just relax and enjoy the family. That way no one is left out and you both can enjoy each others family. Please take it from me I live 1700 miles away from my family and it's rare if I spend the holidays with them and his family has passed or live 6 hours away. We both wish we could be with our families for the holidays. Cherish your time with your families.

[Shanz04]

We do both families dinners and have for the last 6 years.  My family has a lunch around noon and his family has a dinner around 330 we spend about equal amount of time at each place and loving seeing both families  I couldn't imagine it any other way. Next year will be much of the same however we will just be dragging a pack n play with us sp little girl can nap

[Mrskis4]

I don't think not seeing anybody for Thanksgiving is the way to go.   Who cares about eating at both homes... It's about spending time with family.   I do Thanksgiving day at my house with my in laws who live very close and the day after with my family who live about 2 hours away.  I couldn't imagine not seeing anyone because I won't be hungry enough.   How about dinner with your family and dessert with his?  

[medicmomma23]

MY husband and I flip flop years. When we were first together we tried doing both families in one day. It was too much work and we didn't have enough quality time with each family. Altimently do what's best for you guys. Doesn't matter what anyone feels or thinks. It's your life and right now it should be about what makes you happy. Being an expecting new mommy is enough stress on you, you don't need anything else.  

[chloegc1023]

My two cents, a plan is a plan.  If u guys already made plans to go to ur parents in the afternoon and then to ur hubbys parent in the evening then u two should stick to that plan.  I've always been of the mindset that u should stick to ur word.  There's no reason why ur hubby needs to pig out while at ur parents house.  Just eat a regular lunch portion and take home whatever u can, then go to ur hubbys parents.  And stick to the plan of doing ur own thing for next year.  Keep it simple, that way no one gets disappointed cuz of ppl breaking plans and canceling last minute.  

[honeybee103112]

I'd say tell the families if they want to see you guys they have to be tolerable and see eachother have them.at your house all at once. That way you with get.to see them. Once baby is there they will just be happy to spend the day with baby. So start now and lay down the rules.

[RockRose]

When we got married,  we had to go to "PreCana" marriage preparation meetings with other couples in the church.  Topics like finances,  kids,  family,  etc., were discussed.

The MOST difficult session - and they dedicated a whole 2 hour session to it - was extended family holidays.   In this exercise,  we had to hold hands,  and go over to this area if you were spending the first holiday with wife's family,  over there if with husband's family,  over there if "other".    About half of the couples couldn't complete the exercise,  and couldn't arrive at an agreeable answer within the session time limit.

This is hard.  But you,  right now,  are one of those couples who can't decide.  You're running from the question and merely giving up - because you feel like you are comparing which family is "better" or "more deserving".  

And your husband feels like his family has pulled up second place, and so now he doesn't even want to face it.

Go to both.  No one cares how much he eats.  And have a good time.

You will have so many more of these to come,  best to face this and get over the feeling that you are comparing families.

[KARCARR]

Well good morning mommie. I look at it like this you and your husband are grown and have your own marriage and now your own baby. Enjoy the memories that you want to have. But if the hubby wants to stay home just make the best of it. As long as u are boyh happy

[wyattsmom2015]

My husband and I always did our own holiday dinners. We did do it at my mom's our first year because I was 16 years old and we lived there and that was where our kitchen was and for a few years after my mom passed we used his great aunts kitchen so we had no clean up. Lol. But we bought the food and did the cooking. His mom's side of the family and my family did not like each other but his aunt was from his dad's side and they were always neutral. We moved away and live near my brother but we still do our own dinners each year and my brother and his family come to them. I am making it so they can not come this year because his girlfriend wants to do their own dinner and has wanted to every year but my brother believes in family and me being the holiday host. I don't think it is fair to her if I keep allowing them to come, she throws a small fit every dinner and looks sad. I say start your own tradition and don't pick sides, the families will get upset they did not get prime dinner spot. Good luck.

[aac1992]

I am not going through something similar, but my husband and I always go to his and my family dinners and just eat how we want at each, no one cares they are just glad we are there. We are going to Thanksgiving this year, but aren't gonna make it to Christmas BC my due date is Dec 14 so baby will just be too small. Good luck and have a good thanksgiving either way!