worried about being smothered

[kitcat2015]

I'm pregnant with my first child but concerned about dealing with my mom and mother-in-law.  I'm a very private person.  Planning my wedding last year was horrible. They wanted involvement everywhere, to put their own touches on things like it was theirs, etc.  I feel like my pregnancy and afterwards is going to be a repeat of having to push back on them all over again. They are going to smother me with unwanted attention and make everything far more complicated than it should be.  This will be the first grandchild for both so I can understand their excitement, but I don't want to deal with all the "Why?  Well, why not? What's wrong with that?" And then there is dealing with all their tears and anger when I won't give in or if there's something they can't understand.  My husband wasn't much help in dealing with either during the wedding planning, so I doubt he will be helpful this time around.  I don't want to be smothered, pressured or guilt-tripped into doing things that I don't want to do.  I also hate being the bad guy.  Any suggestions or advice is greatly appreciated!

[Scuttles88]

You can only be so nice. My mom,  stepmom, and mother in law got together and made up a schedule so they can all spend time with the baby just not at once. My mil lives 8 hours away, mom and stepmom are only 2.5 hours away. I have set rules for each and if they don't follow them, they are going home. That's it. It's my husband and my first child and I am not open to being strong armed into anything. They know I mean business and am not concerned with damaging relationships in this case.

[AAVs_mommy]

Just pull the hormones card and stick to your guns! They will get over it trust me! :)

[kitcat2015]

I really feel for you emt.  Stand your ground!  Safety of your baby comes first!

[emt29817]

My mil has been on me about babysitting.  I finally told her no. I am almost 35 weeks and you guys are lucky. I have 2 mil because my hubby was raised by his grandparents. I have also had to tell his real mom she isn't babysitting either. His grandmom has dementia and can't even take care of herself much less a newborn. She also told me the other day that she was going call child services if I made the baby's room upstairs and they would take my kid away and give him to her. I have a 2 story house and 2  bedrooms are upstairs and 1 is down stairs.  That woman is crazy if she thinks for 1 second after she said that I would even consider her as a baby sitter.

[nikkinoodles]

I think you just have to stick to your guns and stay strong! I was a walk over with my first but I'm now pregnant with my third and have learned a lot! My mil would give sweets before tea which I now just turn to her and say no they can have them after their tea and stand my ground even if one won't hurt as she says! buy big presents just before Christmas (which I had planned to buy myself) once she bought my eldest a karaoke 2 weeks before Christmas when it was going to be my main present to her! She even bought my eldest her first bike which is a big no no in my eyes! When she asks now what I'm getting them for Xmas I just say I don't know yet even if I do! I think you live and learn with these things! X

[FruitLoop123]

Me too! My mil drives me crazy with all her "tips" and "suggestions" and she literally told me that she WILL be taking my daughter to VA when shes born(we live in MA) SORRY NO YOU WILL NOT! Not unless you plan on taking meand her dad too! No way am I gonna let that batty woman take my newborn for a week without me! Ha!

[AH27NH]

I'm 39 weeks  myself with the same issue more on mil than my mom tho. If I get asked one more time if I am having labor pains  I will .....  So any   pointers ladies???