Low sex-drive during pregnancy

[Jenny77]

I've been reading a lot of pregnancy books and it seems that most women have heightened sexual experiences and higher sex-drive while pregnant.  I am 19 weeks now and I still feel like I rarely want to have sex (just not in the mood). Before I was pregnant I felt like I had a good sex drive, I thought the low drive was just due to the morning sickness I had during my first trimester, but I'm no longer sick but still just don't have that urge like I used to. Has anyone else felt like this while pregnant or am I the only one? Any advice?

[LittleMamaRush]

I am in the same situation. I am 21 weeks pregnant and we have only had sex once (which did not pleasure me) and I cannot bring myself to try again. It is actually putting a damper on the relationship and i do not know what to do. It is more than just the sex drive that has lowered too, its the attention I gave him before that has dissapated. I just feel preoccupied with the baby to pay much attention to him or try to have sex again... I feel horrible!! I have been told that I just need to suck it up and have sex...HELP!

[father2be]

Ok so Iam a first time Father/Dad to be and I'am very excited about that, so in my girl friends first tri it was hell she had morning and night time sickness (The worst) but as a man I was there for her and still am helping her thru this whole Task she going thru. she's now 23 weeks before she got pregnant sexually everything was great I'm talking sex whenever I wanted twice a day I mean doing all sorts of sexual things, I myself have a very high sex drive since she's been  pregnant EVERYTHING HAS STOPED I'am here trying to understand whats going on I mean she wont even do as much as give me a simple hand job I mean nothing.

I don't even like going out with my friends to drink anymore because I know ill come home wanting to have sex shell then turn me down and ill be very annoyed and upset Iam really trying to understand whats going on, there were times when I thought it was Me I thought she just wasnt into me anymore for some reason, I cook I clean i take good care of her every needs and I vow to always do that. Iam here basically really trying to understand whats going on with her Sex drive. How do I tell her I need something, hand job, maybe a ** here and there a little dirty talk something??????????????????????????????????

Please help me thanks

[Beckaboo1983]

Thanks for all the comments ladies! So helpful to know that I am not the only one out there. I thought during pregnancy there was supposed to be heightened so sex drive so this makes me feel a lot better. My husband has been incredidly supportive and understanding. I think as long as you keep the lines of communication open, things can me much better. I feel terrible for you ladies out there that have husbands that don't understand what you are going through! I wish I had advice on how to help. Maybe have him read posts like this? Or have him go with you to one of your prenatal appointments so he can hear from the doctor this is normal. As for Suffering Husband - shame on you! Good luck ladies!

[Missprisskm]

I'm 13 weeks along now. The biggest problem for me has been a) I couldn't take his smell. I used to love the way he smelled (he uses old spice, so he always smelled really good!) but it was just too strong. And b) I was (and am!) tired and often sick. First, I made him change deodorant and body wash to something much more mild smelling. Then he tries to "get me in the mood" as soon as he gets home from work, or even in the mornings on weekends. I usually feel best in the afternoons and his body wash smell has mostly worn off, so he can usually get my attention then lol. The last few weeks I haven't been sick except at night, so especially if I get a nap, afternoons and mornings I feel pretty good. So I would just say, be creative. Don't make your guy sleep beside the woman he loves and NEVER get to touch her...it will drive him nuts! Just work together so both of you get what you need :)

[tryingtosurvive83]

thanks ladys for ur comments !!!!!!
im on my second marrige soon to b ,, ( i was cheated on after 13 yrs of marriage an have 3 kids already from smae person)   an the gf an i have been going thru the same thing ,, we never fight an al a sudden couple nits ago were going at each other .. i  got really scared . thinking she was leaving .. she said she wasnt attracted to me anymore . an everything i did pissed her off ...she said some things about not sure if we loved each other on the same level an .. i think she was starting to doubt the relationship , cause on her first go around her x an her had sex all the time an yes she had a boy but she was never sick....here lately every time we were together we bickered all the time ... i have never felt so low n my life ... so i started reading up on this an i told her an showed her some comments you guys have made about not being sexually attracted . .. she has totally changed her attitude towards me she is a beautiful woman an being pregant she is even more ... we even went out today an had some us time she is a home body an being sick it makes it even worse ..i was getting ready to leave for work an she came on to me ..it was great i know she prooly didnt feel like it but it makes me think how glad im with her .. U MUST TALK WITH UR MEN AN TELL THEM HOW U ARE FEELING ... if u dont they think its them .. we talked on our us time . an we laughed it was a great day .. communicate with each other thats the key ..
thanks everyone u have helped a bunch

[Lifewithnopink]

I think it is a culmination of things that lead to a decreased sex drive during pregnancy.   To Suffering Husband, the resolution to revving up a low sex drive may not be simple.   In my case, I am pregnant with my fourth child, and I have all boys so I think we can rule out how gender makes a difference.   In my case, it seems that I don't completely shy away from intimacy with my husband but I do find myself resisting being touched when he is in the mood.   I get uncomfortable when my body is touched.  I do want to be intimate with my husband at times but we never seem in sync and it seems that we are only willing to "get on the same page" twice a week.   I cannot speak for everyone but pregnancy can be very hard on a woman's body.  This is my fourth pregnancy (back-to-back no less) and I feel exhausted and huge.   Sometimes I just want to lay around on the couch and count the days until delivery but I have to keep in mind that I have a husband that loves me and deserves for me to attempt to show intimacy.  It is worthwhile to try different solutions, 1) talking to your partner (i.e. being honest about physical discomforts or what you feel is missing from the relationship, if anything), 2) spending one-on-one time with one another (in my case this is hard because we have small children in our household and arranging time away from our children is hard... some people recommend at least 20 minutes a day, 3) try something new the next time you're intimate, 4) write each other a note about your most memorable sexual experience together, 5) try exercising together and showering together (if you can fit in your shower and can stand your partner looking at your naked, pregnant body, it may give them a chance to understand how your body has changed and what you are going through... or it may just make them want you even more... you have to be prepared for that).   If there are any men reading this post, please know that your wives and girlfriends will not respond to you skipping opportunities to show affection and intimacy throughout the day and allow you to just skip right into bed to make love.   Sometimes a little effort can go a long way.  Ask her how she is feeling, rub her back (or her feet if you dare) and tell her she is beautiful and that you love her.  Above all else... enjoy the fact that you have a blessing coming and that challenges like this will come and go.