See a lawyer. Then see a shrink to figure out how you got into this mess, what makes you a doormat? You're going to have to live this one without him (obviously) but there is nothing wrong with filing for child support. If he's a user and a jailbird, he probably isn't out there getting legitimate jobs where he has a paycheck that can be garnished, but there is nothing wrong with getting his name in the records as owing back child support. Maybe someday his sorry butt will grow up and he will think of getting a job, and you'll get some financial help.
A lawyer for what? He does have a job as a leader in a remodeling backyards company. I dont want his money I've never needed it from him, if he's there for my kids its more than I can ask for I just dont know if i should allow him to be there? Does he have rights even if hes not on the birth certificate or last name of this baby im going to have?
He still have right!DNA can proof it.pls be calm, pray for guidance,you can seek counselling in other to speak to the right people.may God lead you right honey.
I would tell him when you go in to labour and if he turns up he does and he is showing you that he is interested. But if he doesn't leave it at that and wait for him to get in contact with you. It's a crappy situation your in and I'm sorry he is like that have you got family that can be with you if he doesn't turn up?
Think of your children. What is best for them. Is it healthy for them to have someone like that in and out of their lives? Even for you. You and your children deserve to be happy and if he can't show you that his children matters then maybe he isn't worthy enough of being in the delivery room for such a special moment that he hasn't earned. Yes he's the biological father. But like they say "anybody can call them selves a parent but a parent is someone who puts that child above their own selfish needs and wants.
But stay calm and don't stress yourself. You still have a few months to make up your mind.
Coming from a man point of view. Walk away. You can do it on your own. Don't let no man think they are above you and you need them. Let it be tough love. Take it upon yourself to care for both your kids and ask one of your good friend if she will be in the home to support you while giving birth. Clearly this man has no intention of being with you or stepping up as a father to your 5 year old and unborn child. Wish you all the best and make the best decision for your kids. They should be number one e in your life. Bless.