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Avatar universal


I'm really upset and annoyed. My husband works really hard to take care of us so I can be a stay at home mum which is what we both want. We have three kids abs after the birth of the second 2 he wasn't able to take much time off to keep the money coming in so I just figured it out myself which was tough but doable and everything worked out. This 4th baby was a huge shock and suprise but once we got our head around it were thrilled. My one thing throughout the pregnancy was that he has to take 2 weeks off once baby is born as youngest just turned 2 and I'm really worried this time about coping with 4 under 6. He agreed and it's what has gotten me through the past couple of weeks cause financially we're much more stable. He just told me this morning that it's not doable and that he'll have to take 'bits and pieces off' once baby comes. Jesus I'm so stressed and anxious now and so very disappointed. Was really looking forward to figuring it out together with support and now have to face doing it on my own again. Hormones aren't helping of course and I'm due in a week. Can't stop crying now and feel so angry and let down. Am I just being a brat?
3 Responses
278664 tn?1319843759
No I think we all deserve support. I'm pregnant with number 6 and my husband has his own company (5 yrs now) Sounds great right, nope limited time off because if he doesn't work we don't have jobs for his crews. And then it effects everyone. I've only had him around with our first when he was in school, 16 yrs ago. It's hard but I learned to ask for help at night as soon as he got home and on weekends. Yes we would both be extremely tired and drained. But we got through it. I get really jealous of friends who's husbands are able to take any time off after a baby. I wish you the best in a week and you'll be able to do this hard task. Now would be a good time if you any family or close friends that are able to help, ask them. This is where it takes a village to raise a family.
Thanks a mill, husband has his own business too so I know you know exactly what I mean! I feel like he set me up for a fall. All along agreeing that he would deffo take 2 weeks off ans because he has his own business he can go in early and come home early, etc. Now it's all 'I'm up to my eyes, too much to get through, we'll have to just see what happens, I'll take 2 weeks in June'. At least if he worked for someone else he could get paternity leave and take 2 weeks. Just devastated and pissed off. Feel bad for feeling bad cause I know he's not doing it to upset me and that he would love to be off but he's had about 8 months from when we found out about baby to figure it out!!!!!
134578 tn?1517087675
When someone owns his own company, he cannot predict when the work is going to come in, and especially, he has to take the work when it comes, if he wants future work to continue to come in.  You probably sound to him like you think the work will always come rolling in without a lot of effort on his part and he can just step aside for a while, and he probably feels you don't understand that the business could come crashing down entirely if he is not amenable to his customers.  You really didn't have a right to make him promise to be there for two weeks when the baby came (and I assume you knew in your heart that he really couldn't be sure of making such a promise), and he was stupid to make such a promise.  He should have just told you "I will if I can, but I can't predict the work flow."  I'll bet that he didn't because he was indulging in wishful thinking that he could make it happen.

Call your mom, call your sister, call your aunt.  Get the help, don't push your husband to be your one and only support.  He is already probably feeling pulled in a million directions by his work demands and the cost of feeding four kids and putting them through college.
Avatar universal
I just wanted to say that you gave great answers AnnieBrooke. You always do.
My husband started his own business when our one and only was around 2 years old. His other job before this offered over time and my husband always took it because we were very young parents with a baby to take care of. My daughter and I missed him but I never tried to make him feel bad for wanting to take care of us. The hours became much longer when he started his own business. My daughter and I took what we could get as far as time with him.
I know I'm talking about one child and not three to six. I can't imagine how hard that would be. But, all of us make the decision to have our children. If it's hard with two you have to know it's going to be even harder with three.
Do lean on family and friends to help out. If someone can just come over for an hour so you can get in a shower it really helps.
Be happy and proud that your husband works so hard to take care of his family. It's a bummer that he can't take 2 fulls weeks off but that's not uncommon when you have your own business.
Blessings to you and your new little one.
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Avatar universal
st. louis, MO
13167 tn?1327197724
Austin, TX
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