Pregnancy: Sep 2014 Babies Community
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Avatar universal

Caught in the middle! :(

So I lived with my bf and his mom for the first 24 weeks of my pregnancy, it honestly wasnt working out at all so now im with my mom 2 hours away even when I was up there my family was always the ones who made the effort to come see me and didnt get to go to any of my ultrasounds or appointments now theres a huge debate on the delivery its either stay with my mom and have my baby daddy miss the labour because they dont want to drive here or go there and have my mom who supports me like no other miss it :( I lose either way I honestly just wish they would put more effort in they do nothing my family does everything all the driving, money its not fair and ontop of it all I always seem to be the one that everyone gets mad at if it doesnt go their way :(
7 Responses
Avatar universal
Thats like that with my pregnancy also.
I think its up to you on who you want like yes you would want the baby daddy there and your mom. But you can always just say to everyone that you want the father there no one else.

My fiance and i live 5 minutes away from his parents and 25 minutes away from my parents and my hospital is closer to my parents. But his mom thinks with me living by them she should be there for the birth but my mom and i are very close so yes im choosing my mom over the mans mom. Just cause 1) shes my mother. 2) shes been there the day i was born. 3) she was there for my first child's birth. And 4) i dont like my fiancès mother one bit
Avatar universal
I say stay with your mom. You are comfortable there. If he hears you are in labor he will likely make the drive. If everyone will get mad anyway, please yourself and don't worry about anyone else. You will also be recovering for a while and staying with your mom, right? Stay where you will be after the birth. Don't be bullied, you will need to be taking care of yourself and not everyone else. This is VERY important to self care. Its super overwhelming having a baby for some, so make it as easy as possible for you to care for you and baby. If your mom will help, be there.
Avatar universal
Remember, he doesn't have to miss it, he's choosing to. I dnt think it's right for him to ask you to choose between him and your MOTHER and if he wants to be there he would drive those 2 hours instead of making you commute
Avatar universal
I feel like he will but its more his mom who wont drive but I do really want to be with my mom she just understands me more then his and I feel comfortable with her shes my mom
Avatar universal
Just ask your mom if your bf can stay at the house with you so he can be there for the birth. Im sure she won't mind seeing as how you two slept together and have a baby on the way. Just say "i want you there but i also want the bf there for the birth of the baby, so do you think he can stay with me at the house?" What else could go wrong
Avatar universal
Thank you for that idea I think im going to talk with her tonight about it
Avatar universal
If the father truely wants to be there he will find a way. Train, bus, or whatever. He doesn't have to be totally dependent on his mom if he doesn't want to, but then again I don't know the situation.

But id stick with mom. You can never go wrong with your own supportive mother. Don't stress yourself. Do what YOU want and don't care what anyone else thinks.
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