Child support question

[Mama2b91]

I have decided to apply for child support as soon as the baby is here but have a few issues.

I do not know the baby's dads address, national insurance number or date of birth.

I still have his mobile number and of course I know his full name and occupation. He's in the armed forces and I know where's he's based but don't have his service number or any specific details.

Is there any way CSA could find out the information I don't have themselves?

I'm sure it's required and want to get it sorted as soon as my baby's born. He has already asked me not to ask him for money as he doesn't want to be involved in the child's life but I will be struggling without it.

[MegiLiz]

All of that information IS needed, but they will take whatever you can give them and figure out the rest themselves. And I'm going to straighten out a few other things for you because some things these girls have told you are not entirely true. A: because he is in the military and works for the federal government, child support with be taken from his check before he even sees it. He will have absolutely no choice in the matter. B: he can't forfeit his parental rights without you first proving the child is his, which means a paternity test. Also idk about your state, but here in Iowa you can't put a name on the birth certificate without him doing it himself or you being married WITHOUT a paternity test. C: child support is based on his income. You'll be fine. And finally: BECAUSE he works for the federal government, waiving his rights means absolutely nothing. They don't care. They'll make him pay anyway.

[Mimireyes]

For the women that wasted their time telling this girl ugly stuff Im just going to tell you all that she never asked for you girls opinion on whether it was right or not to ask the guy for money. Her question was on child support information. -.- smh

[Pray4me2015]

You child deserves to be financially supported by both parents. Be careful, but as the poster above said, he will then have rights. Most important of these is custodial. How much say and involvement do you want him to have in the child's like and subsequently yours?

You stated he doesn't want your child and has been verbally abuse, will you be okay with your child being alone with him when he exercises visitation rights just to **** you off or impress the next girl?

Along with the money aspect please consider these questions.

[BinaBops]

APC Glasgow deal with all soldiers so you might be better off contacting them, although they will never give you the information that you need to to contact CSA. If you pass CSA the information that you do have and the battalion etc that he is part of, that will help pinpoint things. It might be a long winded processes as he obviously has a right to deny his actions, but once proven or admitted that he is the father, the money will be taken straight from his wages irrespective of whether he agrees to it it or not

[jessicups]

It blows my mind that there are people saying that because she originally said she didn't want anything and because she didn't abort the baby that the guy just shouldn't have to be responsible. It's honestly laughable, and a litte disguisting, he has just as much responsibility to this baby as she does, whether she said she wanted help from him or not is irrelevant. He doesn't owe it to HER he owes it to the child. So many dead beat POS men out there want the easy €*@# but don't wanna live with the consequences leaving woman to raise babies a lone and living kids with piles of daddy issues. Don't let any of these trolls make you feel bad for going after him for what this baby deserves, he had sex with you, there is always a chance of pregnancy, maybe he should keep it in his damn pants. I would atleast text him and let him know, besides that you don't owe him anything. Best of luck hun.

[deekie25]

He will still have to pay child support regardless of waiving his rights to the child.... But plenty of women go it alone without money from their partner. I also feel like if hounding know his birthday you weren't actually dating so if it were me and I got pregnant to a guy I wasn't seeing of he wanted me to have an abortion and I chose not to I wouldn't involve him at all.... This was a choice you made and I dont mean to sound nasty when I say this but if you didn't know babies are expensive then you either live under a rock or are very naive. It's not fair on him to not want the child have you tell him that you aren't going to make him pay for it and then to go back on your word. It's just not right in my opinion and I wouldn't never do that to a guy

[KelzLanigan]

A father within the UK will always have rights to the child by law… they dont have to be on the birth certificate and they cant wave the rights either ! only a court of law can take either rights and thats only in rare cases

[Janetjean]

You can get help from other places don't worry and I live in California but I believe that is a government rule set everywhere it's basically like protecting them if you have your child and he has any rights to your baby the government has to set them up with health care and free education and Exc but if he waves his rights they are not obligated to give your child anything but you can still get help being a single parent the can give you wic and food stamps and medical for baby at least that's how it is here

[Patriciaaa02]

Wat  @maw4389 said ^ agreeee

[maw4389]

It was your decision to not ask for anything and then you changed your mind without telling him. As rockrose said, you're just gonna have to toughen up and at least tell him. It's the least you can do. That's a total blindside and slap to the face to just serve him with papers without telling him it's coming especially when you told him you wanted nothing from him. Sorry to come off as rude and harsh but that's just the reality of the situation. Think about if the roles were reversed. How would you feel?

[RockRose]

You might have to toughen up and just accept that he's going to be verbally abusive.  That's just the kind of guy he is,  sounds like.

I still recommend you give him the chance to give you all the information you need.  He really doesn't want to appear to be shirking his duties,  in front of his commanding officer.

I'm sorry you didn't go over a budget earlier than this,  so you would have had more time to file for child support.  

Best wishes.

[Mama2b91]

If I do contact him to tell him I'm going to get abuse from him and that's all I already know.

And I wasn't going to ask him for anything but after looking over everything I won't be able to make payments and look after my baby on my own so would need this.

[alemend]

I'm sorry, but at least have the courtesy to let him know your filing for child support; things are expensive and caring for a newborn will add up, I know, I'm 38wks pregnant myself but he made it clear he didn't want the baby and you made the decision of having him anyways. Personally, If an ex would of reacted the way yours did, I wouldn't ask him for anything, nothing at all but that's just me.

[maw4389]

I think you should at least tell him yourself that you're filing for child support. Not really fair to him that you told him you didn't want anything from him and now you're gonna serve him with child support papers.

[Mama2b91]

where do you live? I've never heard of that. If that's an option he's going to take it. He'll forfeit his rights because he's already said he doesn't want to be involved so he doesn't have to pay.
But I thought I would at least get something even if he doesn't want to be involved? :/

[Janetjean]

Here all you have to have is his full name tho they do the rest

[Janetjean]

I'm pretty sure unless he terminates parental rights he will be dishonorably discharged my husband was not aloud to even go into the army unless he forfeited his rights or we got married and then when he signs his rights away while working for government if they claim no rights they don't have to pay child support at least that's how it works here I hope you can get some child support

[Mama2b91]

thanks Hun! That does help x

[KelzLanigan]

The CSA will collect all money that your intitled too as long as you request this! I get CSA from an ex and they collect it from his earnings then send it to me and im British (UK) … there are 2 CSA agencys and it will cost £20 For the application for them to help  so i hope this helps

[Mama2b91]

Yeah it's not about just new things because pram cot and a few toys im getting 2nd hand and I'm fine with. It's just certain things I wanna buy new like bottles and sterilising equipment. I already pay rent bills and council tax so could use the help.

[deekie25]

Im just giving you a heads up ( I know its different country and all but might be simmilar ) child support doesn't always work out to be much a friend was getting less than 90 bucks a month from her ex for child support. He also wasn't very cooperative and they initially seem to let the dad pay it themselves instead of immediatly taking it out of their weekly pay. Also don't get fooled into thinking everything needs to be shiny and new. I havnt bought anything brand new I got everything second hand off gumtree really cheap and have had clothes donated to me from a pay it forward Facebook page. I also kept my eye out for stuff left out on the nature strip like bedside tables and a set of draws. I'm Aussie so once again not sure if child support works simmilar or the same in the UK.

[KelzLanigan]

Im british and all you need is his full name and where he is based ! They will go to his higher officer for all they need! :) he might challenge you to prove he is dad but just do it

[Mama2b91]

The issue is communication between me and him has completely broken down and I don't think I'll be talking to him again.

The reason I wanna go through CSA is because I told him when I found out I was pregnant I wouldn't ask him for anything because he really wanted me to have an abortion and I said no. Since then we haven't spoken.

But I've been looking at costs and things and I can afford anything new or anything other than what I need so I will definitely need financial help x

[RockRose]

Call him and ask him for all the information you need.  Tell him if he doesn't give it to you,   CSA will be calling his commanding officer to get that information so he's much better off cooperating.

Best wishes.