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Facebook photo posting - our wishes vs. our relatives - help!
Me and my Husband are very anti-facebook for various reasons since coming off it a number of years ago. We're expecting our first baby soon and really don't want relatives plastering photos of our child on their pages. We've tried explaining this nicely to a few close family members on my side who are all big on Facebook, but none of them seem to understand or care how strongly we feel about this. My mum didn't listen to us at all and responded that her profile is private - that doesn't matter to us though that only your "friends" can see, they're not our friends and we don't know them! We know we can't control what people post, it's their page, and we don't want to get to the point of not allowing those people to have photo's of our daughter in case they post them on Facebook - but where do we go from here? They're clearly going to disrespect our wishes and do it anyway despite us saying how much we don't want it to happen. Has anyone been through this and got any advice? It's really stressing me out! Thank you
My husband has a crazy step mom who stole a photo of my child and posted it. I contacted fb and her profile was closed for illegal posting of children photos.
You can contact fb and have your child's picture removed as it's a legal thing. ( it doesn't mean their profile will be deleted. That happened in my case because she did it multiple times)
I have other friends who simple make a fb and add family Just so they can keep track of who breaks their rule and politely ask them to remove it when they 'forget'.
Ultimately it's your child not theirs and they need to respect your decision regardless if they believe it's right or not
You can contact fb and have your child's picture removed as it's a legal thing. ( it doesn't mean their profile will be deleted. That happened in my case because she did it multiple times)
I have other friends who simple make a fb and add family Just so they can keep track of who breaks their rule and politely ask them to remove it when they 'forget'.
Ultimately it's your child not theirs and they need to respect your decision regardless if they believe it's right or not
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That's crazy of her!!! And I didn't know you could do that? I've been thinking I might have to reactivate my Facebook just to monitor what is posted then report the photos so they are removed, thing is once family catch on if they delete me as a friend so I won't see will I? Plus how will I know they have definitely posted a photo if I'm not on Facebook? Argh! And yes you'd think they'd just respect our wishes and as the parents our say would be final, my mum seems to think that because she's only got people she knows as friends that it's OK, she's really not getting the message that we're still not ok with it! :(
This is a tough one because I understand completely how you feel. I'm not a fan of facebook myself, so I've asked everyone in my family not to post my children's pictures and videos as well. Do they listen? For the most part they do, but occasionally I find out that they one of my children or both are making an appearance on their page. Its annoying and I try very hard not to stress over it. I've done the best I could to explain why and still there are those that don't respect our wishes. I honestly don't know how to control it. I just hope that they listen.
This makes me glad my mother and aunts were not on Facebook when I had my son.
You naturally have the right to entirely prevent any photo of your child from being on another person's account (and have the right by law to get such a photo taken down). But it might be impossible to keep all family members or friends from ever posting a photo that includes your child somewhere in the background. If that happens, I would only complain if your relative specifically highlighted the child and identified the child by name.
It has not so far harmed children to be in the family photo that grandma and grandpa send around in their Christmas card, for example. It would not harm the child if they are (not identified by name or pointed out in the caption) in in a family picture at the zoo or a party, for example. This is perhaps too fine a distinction for your bullheaded relative who wants to post a lot of shots to understand, but it might be worth keeping in mind if other family members include your child in a group shot. It sounds like what bothers you is the bragging, or possible pederastic or voyeuristic aspects, not casual photos that all families display every now and then.
To get just a little perspective (not so you won't ban your relative from her bragging intent to post a lot of pictures, but just so you can talk to her more calmly), remember that unless you intend to take your baby out wearing a veil, strangers will see your baby. People at the grocery store, mall and on the street will see your child; the child will go to school and be out and about. As long as nobody can connect a first and last name and address to a face, it has not proven broadly harmful in society for people to take their child out in public. Keep that as kind of a standard when talking to family about your child's photograph. This doesn't mean they should post the child's photo on Facebook but it does mean you should be as balanced as you can when you discuss it.
You naturally have the right to entirely prevent any photo of your child from being on another person's account (and have the right by law to get such a photo taken down). But it might be impossible to keep all family members or friends from ever posting a photo that includes your child somewhere in the background. If that happens, I would only complain if your relative specifically highlighted the child and identified the child by name.
It has not so far harmed children to be in the family photo that grandma and grandpa send around in their Christmas card, for example. It would not harm the child if they are (not identified by name or pointed out in the caption) in in a family picture at the zoo or a party, for example. This is perhaps too fine a distinction for your bullheaded relative who wants to post a lot of shots to understand, but it might be worth keeping in mind if other family members include your child in a group shot. It sounds like what bothers you is the bragging, or possible pederastic or voyeuristic aspects, not casual photos that all families display every now and then.
To get just a little perspective (not so you won't ban your relative from her bragging intent to post a lot of pictures, but just so you can talk to her more calmly), remember that unless you intend to take your baby out wearing a veil, strangers will see your baby. People at the grocery store, mall and on the street will see your child; the child will go to school and be out and about. As long as nobody can connect a first and last name and address to a face, it has not proven broadly harmful in society for people to take their child out in public. Keep that as kind of a standard when talking to family about your child's photograph. This doesn't mean they should post the child's photo on Facebook but it does mean you should be as balanced as you can when you discuss it.
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ps - Do tell them about the kind of things Internet pervs do. People even make porn out of pregnancy photos women post. Sheez.
You can report the pictures to Facebook. I believe their is still a way even without being a member but you would have to know which member posted it and exactly what the picture looks like. Since the child is minor and you are the parent you have the legal right to have those pictures taken down.
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Thank you that makes me feel better knowing there is a way
I have fb and use it alot but for our fistt child comming up soon there wont be pictures of her on fb or internet. We re lucky that my parents are so no into social networks plus not really showinh off ! And my husbands parents and sister they have fb but are not like big fans.
Try explaining that there are pedophiles everywhere, that your kid later can sue them in court if he or she feels exposed and it s not nice putting her or him on internet as it s nt his or her choice...
Try explaining that there are pedophiles everywhere, that your kid later can sue them in court if he or she feels exposed and it s not nice putting her or him on internet as it s nt his or her choice...
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My husbands side aren't really either, it's just my mum that's the main problem plus potentially my brother and sister-in-law. My mum only uses it to stalk people as well, the amount of times she's said she will come off and never does, she'd hate not knowing what's going on with people!
Don't have a solution for you, just solidarity. DH and i still have fb accounts, but almost never use them, and have insisted that pictures of our kids not be on fb at all. Has caused a little tension as we sometimes have to ask ppl to take pics down, or remind ppl we don't see often not to post pics. But although some ppl have complained a little, everyone has respected our wishes. Up yo even a few years ago it was normal polite behavior not to post internet pics of ppl without their permission. Its rrally too bad that the opposite has become normal.
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Oh wow I can't believe people have still done it after you've asked them not to! You'd think with it being your child you'd have the final say as their parent but it seems sometimes they'll just do what they want
I straight up told people I do not want photos of MY child put all over the Internet. My aunt is always saying when your ready to I simply say no and then she doesn't ask until next time. I don't use Facebook either so I don't see at my son should be put on there. All my family have listened so I've never really had to deal with the fact that they did. But I guess I would ask them to remove them as anyone can see and if they didn't then I wouldn't let them see him to take anymore until they respect my wishes. It's a really sucky thing that people feel the need to put your child out there for everyone to see and something I do not understand x
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That's brave but I feel like I will get to the same point - they wont respect our wishes and would rather upset us by putting photos on there, so the only way we can guarantee that doesn't happen is to not allow them to see her to take the photos in the first place! That would definitely upset my mum and she'd kick off big time, but I still wouldn't trust her not to upload them behind our backs! I don't understand it either x
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