No one contributing to my baby shower :(

[Angelaandrose]

I suppose I created this post to vent and ask what do I do? I just recently moved out of state so my fiance and I could find better jobs and be stable. Then we got pregnant. I created a baby event on facebook and invited all my friends to the page, encouraging them to look through my baby registry and send some gifts. It was a long shot. I couldn't throw a party where I live because I don't have any female friends or even friends in general for that matter so I did not have much of an option. About 20 people said they would participate which was exciting! But the months rolled by and....nothing...no one even looked at my registry. So I then decided to create a gofundme instead so they could just contribute what they could and I would do the rest. One person has contributed. I'm at a loss emotionally. I was really excited to recieve gifts for my baby girl and at least have something of a baby shower. Get some sort of help...did I do something wrong? Im 31 weeks and may have been diagnosed with preeclampsia and I just feel utterly...alone. :/

[AnnieBrooke]

I really do recommend finding a pregnant-mommies group.  Try at your hospital or community center.  You will feel so much better.

[Angelaandrose]

Thanks you to those nice but realistic comments :)

[Angelaandrose]

You guys are right. It's not really about the shower. I never expected anyone to help or send gifts because financially I can buy all of it myself. I've never been upset at the situation of it because ultimately it was my choice to move to a different state with my fiance. I am definitely feeling isolated. I just recently visited my mom so she could see me pregnant and it made me miss home that much more. But my fiance is sort of a stickler and crude about (well, life) moving back and I love him so obviously I am not going to leave him to go home to have support from my family. I suppose I just feel like I'm going in blind since this is my first baby and I don't have people around to help answer my questions of help me at all. Which again, my fault. It's like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place because of all this.

[Sxl0072412]

Try to think of it in a positive way
Number 1 you don't have to invest money into a babyshower so therefore you use that money to buy things
Number 2 you realize how in turn you owe nothing to "those friends"
If you can afford everything on your own then be proud that nobody had to help you and even if you can't afford it then I'm sure a new community/church will be willing to do a little something for you!
Also look for an app called OfferUp where you can buy baby stuff for really cheap! Good Luck :)

[anwhatin1]

I am of the same thought but if u r feeling isolated have your mom or good friend visit you. This will cheer you up and make u feel better. Confide in a close friend how u r feeling to help get it off your chest. Don't stress. I started to buy diapers already and I am only 11 weeks, picking up one thing at a time is easier then everything at once. Maybe when your baby arrives everyone will show up or send a gift.
Take care

[RockRose]

I agree with the other comments.  

Having no one participate in your gift registry online solicitation isn't really the core problem,  it's a symptom of the problem.  

The real problem is you are isolated.

On the other hand,  is it possible that some of your friends will send a gift once the baby is born?  With 9 weeks to go,  and not having a baby shower,  it seems unlikely anyone would have sent a gift yet,  but might send something once the baby is born.

Do you have family support?

[fagi4ka]

Im in a similar situations, been moving around a lot and dont have many friends near by. Just start slowly buying everything yourself, and if someone contributes later on - great!!!
Look for stores that sell used baby items or check craigslist. You can get big items like a crib and carseat/stroller used. Also, sign up for WIC - if you qualify, you'll get coupons for baby food.
Good luck!!

[AnnieBrooke]

The etiquette rule that people don't throw their own showers exists for a reason.   As the other ladies say, nobody is obliged to give someone a gift...even if the solicitation is nicely packaged on gofundme, it's still asking your friends for money.  

I think you are suffering from feeling isolated, and are taking this shower stuff harder because of that bigger problem?  It's too bad that you aren't pregnant in the same town where you grew up and all your friends are, if that were the case, you could probably hint a buddy into throwing a shower.  If you think you could do that and go back for a visit to attend the shower, that might be a way to solve this.  But even if you can't, I assume you are still glad to have moved for your jobs and financial stability?  It's always a trade-off when you move, this is just one of the things you traded, but overall it sounds like you made a good move.  

See if you can find a new mommy group or a Lamaze group or something relating to your pregnancy, a new baby class.  It will help you a lot to meet other pregnant women and talk over issues and just make some friends.

[areal10]

I really don't understand why you're upsetting yourself about this. It shouldnt be anyone's responsibility to buy gifts or send money even if they said they would. Times are hard for everybody right now. If you didn't receive anything, it's not the end if the world. Don't rely on others or strangers to get things for your child.

[jessicups]

This is a hard topic, on one hand it's obviously really nice if people decide to buy stuff for baby to be. But on the other hand, it should never be expected. I can absolutely see how it would really feel like your missing out by not having a baby shower to celebrate, but it really shouldn't be about the gifts. Babies really need very little early, carseat, place to sleep, diapers and some clothes and baby is good. I had a very small get togrther, literally just my mom, aunt and 2 cousins, but it was definitely nice being able to celebrate. If your finding it hard to afford everything is there any way to see if either grandma/grandpa can help out a bit? Unfortunately there just isn't much you can do about what people do or don't do. Just know the true gift is that baby in 9 weeks!