Aa
learning empathy
Don't get me wrong everyone going through pregnancy has questions and concerns and likes to connect with other soon to be mothers to be able to get another mother's perspective. By no means would I want that not to happen because a mother to be is not in a traditional mother father married relationship. But my patience and having to hear women who essentially were knocked up complain about how they are sad, lonely, feel scared due to the circumstances of having to deal with your pregnancy alone. These conversations end up monopolizing the meeting we have at mothers group, and I see it even times on forums like this one. I am needing help understanding how to not be such a b**** because I want to scream at the top of my lungs i dont care about you getting knocked up! If you have a question about being pregnant or your pregnancy or is this weird because I feel the baby move this way please ask but I don't care about your emotional state a feeling sad lonely and depressed because you had unprotected sex and now you have a child and no partner. Hello there are women who have partners and still are not getting the attention and love and support that they need so who the hell wants to hear about you just getting knocked up and not getting the love and support that you need. What bothers me is I have no idea why I'm being such a b**** I don't want to be _maybe it's because I am so uncomfortable. I'm in a wonderful loving relationship and have a wonderful life there's really no reason for me to be so bitter. But I was that child the one whose mother got knocked up. Or perhaps I'm just a b****.
Best Answer
I am absolutely speechless. Someone has posted ASKING for help and advise and everyone has taken personal offence at what she is struggling with. For shame! Not everyone has the same views or tolerance for things as the rest!
I personally get peeved at the 'Am I pregnant?' Posts... I feel like writing on everyone of them 'go buy a HPT or see a doctor' but I bite my tongue. I know that some things are scary and you need to reach out to others and ask for help. Sometimes it's easier to admit to the uglier things in us to strangers than to people we know. How about thinking, before reacting? You can only blame hormones for so much.
I personally get peeved at the 'Am I pregnant?' Posts... I feel like writing on everyone of them 'go buy a HPT or see a doctor' but I bite my tongue. I know that some things are scary and you need to reach out to others and ask for help. Sometimes it's easier to admit to the uglier things in us to strangers than to people we know. How about thinking, before reacting? You can only blame hormones for so much.
Its hard putting a load of pregnant women filled with hormones in a class, forums or anywhere for that matter. Hormones are just blasting out the roof tops ladies! Lets all calm down :) Each and everyone ogmf you is free to post and say what they want and same goes for answering. But lets take our mothers advice and if we have nothing nice to say lets not say it at all.
I totally understand how frustrating it must be to pay for a class and get poop out of it. Here is my advice (doesnt seem like you got a lot lol) in ur situation i would bring it up with the teacher. Plain and simple i would tell him or her that either they get their things together and manage it properly because thats not what u paied for or you get ur full money back so u can go an find a proper group that will teach you from the second u get in till the second u leave. Listening to there stories will not teach you anything. So thats what i would do if i were in ur shoes and thats my advice :) i am french born and raised and i get my hard head from my mother lol so i usually go straight to the point.
For all the other ladies here, onecagertiger is talking about a class. This forum is completly free and anyone can post about there feelings and emotions. I know i always try to read them and answer even if its just to say that they didnt go unheard. Lets all be gentle momma bears and i just want to say congrats to all u mommas! Pregnancy is never easy, if ur doing it alone or with a partner but in the end we all get to the same point.....birth and baby :)
I totally understand how frustrating it must be to pay for a class and get poop out of it. Here is my advice (doesnt seem like you got a lot lol) in ur situation i would bring it up with the teacher. Plain and simple i would tell him or her that either they get their things together and manage it properly because thats not what u paied for or you get ur full money back so u can go an find a proper group that will teach you from the second u get in till the second u leave. Listening to there stories will not teach you anything. So thats what i would do if i were in ur shoes and thats my advice :) i am french born and raised and i get my hard head from my mother lol so i usually go straight to the point.
For all the other ladies here, onecagertiger is talking about a class. This forum is completly free and anyone can post about there feelings and emotions. I know i always try to read them and answer even if its just to say that they didnt go unheard. Lets all be gentle momma bears and i just want to say congrats to all u mommas! Pregnancy is never easy, if ur doing it alone or with a partner but in the end we all get to the same point.....birth and baby :)
I find it annoying when all women do is complain about their relationship or how the father of the baby is gone. I have problems in my relationship too but I don't get on this website to complain about how my life *****. I ask questions about PREGNANCY and help others as well. If its necessary to complain about relationships there is another forum for relationships. It just drives me nuts seeing so many post that are irrelevant to pregnancy. Just had to say that bc its been really annoying me lately lol
Try a different class
I am sorry you didn't quite grasp the point of my post.
I am taking and paying for a class that the first 20 mins is spent not learning, but waiting for the women who are complaining about how their life ***** since they are pregnant and the babies father is not in the picture.
My post asked how do I deal with this situation and not be a such a ***** about it...
When I run in to post like this live situation, I DO just leave the thread.
Hopefully that helps clarify but ... whatever.
I did get suggestions in my inbox that I am going to try.
1) Speak to the teacher about reining in the class.
2) Ask if we can have a talk time after class is complete, this would allow for the class to start on time, and people that want to leave can.
I am taking and paying for a class that the first 20 mins is spent not learning, but waiting for the women who are complaining about how their life ***** since they are pregnant and the babies father is not in the picture.
My post asked how do I deal with this situation and not be a such a ***** about it...
When I run in to post like this live situation, I DO just leave the thread.
Hopefully that helps clarify but ... whatever.
I did get suggestions in my inbox that I am going to try.
1) Speak to the teacher about reining in the class.
2) Ask if we can have a talk time after class is complete, this would allow for the class to start on time, and people that want to leave can.
My issue is that they take up the first 20 mins of class. And I want to yell this is class! If you want to talk about your personal issues do it after class!
Your main problem seems to be you think single moms take all the attention, i was a single mother with my first and it was the opposite, no mother would talk to me when they found out i was not married. I am sorry you feel that way. Some times it is not the mothers fault, or she choose to leave the father because he was not a good father. I know it was hard raising my son alone but i would do it again. All moms need to vent.
Lol too much hormones here!! God bless our hearts!
You know honestly, I'm guilty of posting about my own situation myself, but who's to say just because I am now single and pregnant that I wasn't expecting the man I was in a relationship to stand by me? And who's to say that any married woman who is pregnant would not end up single as well? I think honestly the only reason I ever felt comfortable enough to make a post about everything is 1) that I was hormonal and sent over the edge just as you were to make this post, due to not only the nonstop complications I've experienced and the relationship ending close to the end of my pregnancy, but 2) because I've found plenty of the women here to be very compassionate and to have become the friends and almost more reliable than many of the people I interact with in my life face to face. I find pregnancy to be a time where we should reach out to one another who have questions and concerns with how they are doing and the pregnancy is going. Without the women here I wouldn't have known what to do while spending my so far 2 month long strict bed rest stint left with many questions the doctors leave unanswered or answer half-assed. The women here have given me insight on things to be curious about, concerned about, and a slight sense of feeling as if I'm "on track" by following posts of other women that are as far along as I am. I don't have many women in my life and the ones I do haven't been pregnant for 20+ years. While I can understand your frustration feeling as though here and in your classes that the spotlight is on those who are single and pregnant, I can also understand that this is a difficult thing to go through while in a relationship and for me has only become harder without a support system. Maybe the forum here could create a board for different groups to act as support for moms in the same situation, that way married and pregnant women can talk about their experiences and single moms vice versa. Until then I can understand your complaint as its not something you're going through, I still get tired of seeing "am I pregnant" and "when did I conceive" questions, I don't know why they bother me. They'd probably have pages upon pages of forum boards strictly pertaining to pregnancy if each situation had It's own board lol
Wow... Everyone needs to chill out and get a tub of ice cream. Hormones ladies, hormones!!!!! Remember to breathe . As for the instructor I would pull them to the side and politely voice your concerns. If this doesn't work out in your favor then try to get into another class. It's not worth you getting hormonal G.I. Pregnant Jane on anyone or pulling out your verbal Bruce Lee moves. Too much stress.
It's hilarious the comments from the women on here blasting the original poster and saying "if you don't like a post, don't comment" and the like... I think those women need to listen to their own advice!
lol I think I am bitter because I am being nice to the women in my mothers group that are wasting my money and time. I pointed out the forum comments but they were not the crux of the story. Just pointing out that it also happens here as well (single women venting), making the story relatable to anyone. When I run across the post here I just exist the thread. I can't do that in class!
so technically I stated ... "I am needing help understanding how to not be such a b**** "
Which I think I can pull from the advice that someone personally messaged me. They advised speaking with the instructor and asking her to rein in the conversations, or to ask for a talk time at the end of class for the women who need that time can vent, and I can leave!
so technically I stated ... "I am needing help understanding how to not be such a b**** "
Which I think I can pull from the advice that someone personally messaged me. They advised speaking with the instructor and asking her to rein in the conversations, or to ask for a talk time at the end of class for the women who need that time can vent, and I can leave!
AMEN!!
It's not CAGED.. My screan name is Cager... Which is a basketball term.
And my post was asking for advice on how to handle the anger I am feeling during my CLASSES where the women who have been knocked up monoplize the class time whining about their sitituation. When I run into the post here, I just leave that thread.. But when I am in a class that I have paid money to be at... I am not going to just walk out.
But I can understand where my point could have been lost in my long phone texted message.
And my post was asking for advice on how to handle the anger I am feeling during my CLASSES where the women who have been knocked up monoplize the class time whining about their sitituation. When I run into the post here, I just leave that thread.. But when I am in a class that I have paid money to be at... I am not going to just walk out.
But I can understand where my point could have been lost in my long phone texted message.
Maybe you should stick to expressing yourself about your pregnancy, your life. Personally I dont judge people and despite Being pregnant I have tolerance of others, just not always for my husband. All moms need support and since life can change for everyone in an instant we should never be quick to judge who does not need consoling, advice, or support. I think the hormones have gone to your head and you should rethink this subject when you calm down. If you dont like something dont read it, Its simple. And Its ok to be annoyed but think before you say things like this bc the women your talking about need friends and to be shown love, not be talked down upon bc they dont have ideal situations for bringing a child into the World. Good luck with your attitude.
Yes onecagetiger, it seems to me that you are being a b****. The people on this site have the freedom to press and express their feelings. These forums are created so that one expecting mother can relate, vent, and give advice to another. It has an educational purpose and also to support one another. All that matters is we are all awaiting a precious little gift. Some people just have a different circumstance than others. That doesn't make you any special. Who cares if the child has both parents if their life or what the mother did wrong or right just to have gotten pregnant or whether it was the biggest mistake of their lives. You can't dictate anything on this site. It's not your job to and neither can you judge anyone. That is why we have a God! And just because you think eveything is good in your life, you are sadly mistaken. Only God has answers to everything. You are not perfect. He is in control. So from one expectant mother to another, I want to give you a little advice. If you run across a post that you don't like, DON'T COMMENT! Easy and simple. And you totally contradict yourself saying everything is going good in your life. Well why are you bitter then? I suggest you go find peace within yourself. Now how is that for being a b****
Okay your post complaining about other peoples posts is just as annoying as the posts you r complaining about. Your screenname explains it all. One caged tiger
Ooo tender subject. I think its a bit harsh but I understand the need to vent when something just gets beyond annoying. Im married but my pregnancy was not planned. I love my husband but hes a total douche sometimes.
So far im not a fan of the weight gain, the back pain or the unbelievable heart burn but i enjoy the babys movements. Life happens to all of us and i hope all the mamas to be married or not..knocked up or planned have healthy deliveries and healthy beautiful babies. FYI: im in a good mood today lol
So far im not a fan of the weight gain, the back pain or the unbelievable heart burn but i enjoy the babys movements. Life happens to all of us and i hope all the mamas to be married or not..knocked up or planned have healthy deliveries and healthy beautiful babies. FYI: im in a good mood today lol
I dont think the point was that you have to be married to have a baby. Its just that some of us are happy we are pregnant and love the father to be. I personally have stopped checking in as often because of all the whining. I happen to love being pregnant and love the father of my child and am so excited about the new life we are bringing into this world. I happy to know others are too. :)
ya know, I don't think you mean to be a b**** when you're venting about this. I think that maybe at this moment, this is what tipped you over the edge with the hormones. If it wasn't this, it would have been something else. I was one of those women who was complaining at 37 weeks that I wish this experience was over and find myself biting my tongue now I am 3 days PAST my due date to not say something to the women who are complaining just like I was a few weeks ago. Everyone's situation is different and there are also a variance in ages. Remember that the experience of a 22 year old even if they have multiple kids will not be the same as someone who is 32. What the focus and the reactions are to things will be different. While this group won't deal with as much drama as the 18+ group, there will still be some of the same issues brought up. Just not as often. Just like in the 35+ group, there are even different situations and issues brought up. While I think its ok for everyone to vent about whatever they need to vent about.....we can't judge w/out walking in their shoes. On either side...that goes for those posting negative comments about the original poster as well....If you can help, help....if you can't....move on to the next post. Probably the best option for all of us. :) Good luck mommas!
I agree with alissasmom. No mater the case we are hear to help and support on another. Just my opinion.
Ppl are allowed to express their heartache at being alone just as those who are married or settled are allowed to happily talk of their bliss of supportive companionship.
I think the postee needs to wind the hormonal neck in as many of us all need to do at time to time and learn to understand everyone walks their own path in hell and will reach out to ppl they think will advise...
**** happens and we all react differently....
Its mind blowing, scary, nerve racking to suddenly be pregnant and alone just as it is to have an unsupportive partner....but just cos we are hormonal wenchs does not give us the right to ***** at another pregnant woman for complaining about her situation... Geez regardless, we have gotta get through everything and nurture an unborn growing human within us...
Suck up the hormones one and all LOL !!!
I think the postee needs to wind the hormonal neck in as many of us all need to do at time to time and learn to understand everyone walks their own path in hell and will reach out to ppl they think will advise...
**** happens and we all react differently....
Its mind blowing, scary, nerve racking to suddenly be pregnant and alone just as it is to have an unsupportive partner....but just cos we are hormonal wenchs does not give us the right to ***** at another pregnant woman for complaining about her situation... Geez regardless, we have gotta get through everything and nurture an unborn growing human within us...
Suck up the hormones one and all LOL !!!
I agree but I just pick and choose what I read on here. N those of you going off on this lady for speaking what she feels, if you don't like what she has to say don't read the post. It's that simple
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Now to cager, I have to agree that speaking with the instructor about your concerns is the best approach. That way you aren't being a ***** to anyone, but you hopefully achieve your purpose.