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Pregnancy: Social Community
17.3k Members
Avatar universal

learning empathy

Don't get me wrong everyone going through pregnancy has questions and concerns and likes to connect with other soon to be mothers to be able to get another mother's perspective.  By no means would I want that not to happen because a mother to be is not in a traditional mother father married relationship. But my patience and having to hear women who essentially were knocked up complain about how they are sad,  lonely, feel scared due to the circumstances of having to deal with your pregnancy alone. These conversations end up monopolizing the meeting we have at mothers group, and I see it even times on forums like this one. I am needing help understanding how to not be such a b**** because I want to scream at the top of my lungs i dont care about you getting knocked up! If you have a question about being pregnant or your pregnancy or is this weird because I feel the baby move this way please ask but I don't care about your emotional state a feeling sad lonely and depressed because you had unprotected sex and now you have a child and no partner. Hello there are women who have partners and still are not getting the attention and love and support that they need so who the hell wants to hear about you just getting knocked up and not getting the love and support that you need. What bothers me is I have no idea why I'm being such a b**** I don't want to be _maybe  it's because I am so uncomfortable. I'm in a wonderful loving relationship and have a wonderful life there's really no reason for me to be so bitter. But I was that child the one whose mother got knocked up. Or perhaps I'm just a b****.  
30 Responses
Avatar universal
I think it's obvious many people have taken this personal and failed to really understand what the poster's original comment was regarding. It has nothing to do with single moms or married ones. When I go to classes, I don't want to listen to anyone's personal problems, no matter what they are. If I'm in a class, I want to learn what I paid to learn. If it doesn't relate directly to the pregnancy, save it for your therapist, your friends, or whoever else wants to listen/vent with you. On this forum, you can vent about anything you want obviously and like so many of you have mentioned, if I don't like what I read or I don't have something nice to say, I pass it up.

Now to cager, I have to agree that speaking with the instructor about your concerns is the best approach. That way you aren't being a ***** to anyone, but you hopefully achieve your purpose.
Avatar universal
Everyone is entitled to their opinion that's the glory of open forums. Also being pregnant seems to kick in the extra bitchy gene. I just read what i know won't **** me off an try to give advice when i can
Avatar universal
I feel you! Also agree about another comment you made about wanting a forum for women who are married and meant to get pregnant... I too am 30 married and on #2. Don't relate to all the stuff on here, but still check in to read relative stuff... like questions on vbac and good news like finding out sex of baby .
I don't know if I read how far along you are? I am in week 16.
Avatar universal
Personally i think ur out of order 2 say that we r all mums and mums 2 b, we should help each other by giving advice if we can no matter what the circumstances. If some1 has something 2 say that u don't like then don't read it not every 1 is as lucky as u 2 have a loving and supportive man. I must also say that i am in a loving and supportive relationship but i would never judge any1 who isn't
Avatar universal
I agree with alissasmom. We are all moms no matter what the situation is with the father. And I personally am sick and tired of people saying you HAVE to be married in order to have a healthy long term relationship. My man and I have been together for 8 years. We couldn't be happier and don't care about some stupid paper saying we are together. We have everything in order and take care of business. Not everyone is lucky to even have this much. I have a lot of respect for those who are strong enough to stand by what they believe and go the distance to raise a baby even in tough times. Its every woman's choice and there should be nobody judging each other. Nobodys life is perfect. So either deal with it, or leave the forums. You don't have to stay.
Avatar universal
Aawwww hormones speaking..... Lmao
Avatar universal
Well said purple penguin. I've been with my partner 4 11 yrs since i was 16 we r expecting r 2nd baby n we r much happier than most married couples i no. I also have alot of respect 4 any1 bring up a child on their own its not easy and not their fault the dads don't want 2 no
Avatar universal
I agree but I just pick and choose what I read on here. N those of you going off on this lady for speaking what she feels, if you don't like what she has to say don't read the post. It's that simple
Avatar universal
Ppl are allowed to express their heartache at being alone just as those who are married or settled are allowed to happily talk of their bliss of supportive companionship.

I think the postee needs to wind the hormonal neck in as many of us all need to do at time to time and learn to understand everyone walks their own path in hell and will reach out to ppl they think will advise...

**** happens and we all react differently....

Its mind blowing, scary, nerve racking to suddenly be pregnant and alone just as it is to have an unsupportive partner....but just cos we are hormonal wenchs does not give us the right to ***** at another pregnant woman for complaining about her situation... Geez regardless, we have gotta get through everything and nurture an unborn growing human within us...

Suck up the hormones one and all LOL !!!
5104126 tn?1413332679
I agree with alissasmom. No mater the case we are hear to help and support on another. Just my opinion.
4268628 tn?1375044776
ya know, I don't think you mean to be a b**** when you're venting about this. I think that maybe at this moment, this is what tipped you over the edge with the hormones. If it wasn't this, it would have been something else. I was one of those women who was complaining at 37 weeks that I wish this experience was over and find myself biting my tongue now I am 3 days PAST my due date to not say something to the women who are complaining just like I was a few weeks ago. Everyone's situation is different and there are also a variance in ages. Remember that the experience of a 22 year old even if they have multiple kids will not be the same as someone who is 32. What the focus and the reactions are to things will be different. While this group won't deal with as much drama as the 18+ group, there will still be some of the same issues brought up. Just not as often. Just like in the 35+ group, there are even different situations and issues brought up. While I think its ok for everyone to vent about whatever they need to vent about.....we can't judge w/out walking in their shoes. On either side...that goes for those posting negative comments about the original poster as well....If you can help, help....if you can't....move on to the next post. Probably the best option for all of us. :) Good luck mommas!
Avatar universal
I dont think the point was that you have to be married to have a baby. Its just that some of us are happy we are pregnant and love the father to be. I personally have stopped checking in as often because of all the whining. I happen to love being pregnant and love the father of my child and am so excited about the new life we are bringing into this world. I  happy to know others are too. :)
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