40 and scared

[dakmatrix27]

Im 40 and met this great guy who is 34yrs old. We love each other so much and plan to start a family soon.

I had a miscarriage last year from a previous relationship and I have told these to my present BF and he was okay with my past, adding that he appreciates my honesty.

What Im scared about this time is if I will still have a chance in falling pregnant amidst my fribroids (I have fibroids which my OB says wont pose any problem in conceiving).  She says that its unnecessary removing my fibroids. One thing, I also have another OB who says I should have my fibroids removed before trying to get pregnant. She says that it is risky to fall pregnant or will cause miscarriage when I have fibroids (again, I had miscarriage last yr at 3mos-I already had the fibroids then)

I am pretty confused now which to follow?

It is ironic when I have found the right guy for me but then my body has issues which contradicts our plans for a family.  I am also scared my guy will leave me if I cant have any child.

He wants to marry me but then I have second thoughts bec if I cant give him a child, it will just ruin our marriage. I have become a paranoid since I had my miscarriage. I feel like I have lost half of my womanhood from that incident. It just lowered my self esteem.

Any advice I will deeply appreciate.  Thank you.

[Mom2amiracle2012]

Sorry for not seeing this. I am going to be 26. I have been with my husband for 6 years before getting married last year.

This is our third pregnancy, the other two ending in miscarriage. I am 26 weeks. :)

[marajean21]

Im sure he wouldn't just up and leave because you can't produce kids if that ended up being the case. It might suck and be hard to work through for a bit, but I'm sure he doesn't only want to marry you to produce a child. I know when you find someone you wanna family with you want nothing more than to be able to give him a child, but sometimes it just isn't possible for everyone and they make a family with pets, adopting, or becoming foster parents. I'd go for a 3rd opinion and see what would be best. Ask that 3rd doc what risks there are of conceiving and having the fibroids. Ask if there's a risk of not being able to reproduce after the surgery. There's a few women on here that have found out after they got pregnant they had the same issue and some are just being monitored while some need surgery. Maybe ask and see if it could be monitored to ease your mind if you stick with the first doc. But I do suggest looking for a 3rd opinion and thinking of and writing down all questions you have then weighing your decisions before acting on anything. And deff keep your man in the loop and ask for his input and support while going through this. It may make your relationship even stronger. I hope all works out for the best!

[dakmatrix27]

Hi, thank u for the comment. I appreciate it so much. It really is a great help to learn about other people's views about things.

By the way, how old are now if u dont mind me asking? Do u have kids yet?

Again thank you & God bless u & ur family.

[Mom2amiracle2012]

I had two miscarriages before we got married. The doctor doubted we would have any luck. We got married anyways. Even though he knew we may not get pregnant, he said "A family is formed in love, not childbirth."

If he loves you, you will find a way. No matter what. But I would talk to the doctor. If you are comfortable about talking about marriage, you guys should be comfortable enough to discuss your options with the doctor.

Good luck and God bless.