Am I being rude?

[MelliMel18]

Here is the story. My best friend and i were pregnant almost at the same time. I mean we were about two weeks apart. Well two months ago i miscarried, and she didnt. Her pregnancy is going great.  Lately, I have been feeling a bit resentful towards her. I mean, i really do not want to be like that, but i just cant help it, i almost feel as if i didnt like her anymore. I know that is terrible, but every time we talk she always talks about her pregnancy, and her future baby. In a way, i feel she doesnt really consider my feelings.  I am still not over it, and i just wished we can talk about other things other than her baby.  And today, i really got mad at her. We were talking, and just recently she came back from vacation. She made a comment saying, "oh, i wish i can just be on vacation all the time."  I told her wouldn't that be nice. Then she said, "well i will be sort of on vacation in May (which is when her baby is due), but not really, i will have to be dealing with a crying baby.  I told her, "So WHAT", that should be something you are so excited about doing, then she said again, "yeah, but i wont have time for me, I will have to deal with a baby that will be crying all the time." I got so mad and told her, "What are you talking about, be thankful you have something so precious to look forward to. God, at least you have that to look forward to, I lost my baby, and am not even close to being pregnant".  "Just appreciate what God gave you".  I just got so mad that she is already complaining about the baby, ya know. I would of given anything for my baby to live. I am looking forward to being pregnant and being a mom.  Why is it that some women just cant appreciate the gift of getting pregnant, and having a healthy pregnancy?  While women like me, who lost her child, cant stand people who complain about being pregnant or having to deal with a crying baby?  I dont know, am i being rude and selfish?

[njeosys]

I had a good friend say something stupid after my miscarriage, at small group no less (it's like a Bible study). I can't remember what she was talking about, but she used her analogy as "It's like having a baby before the baby is ready to be born and dies." She just kept going on and on, too, and fortunately I can't remember all of it. I just started bawling and left.

People say stupid things and expect YOU to be in the wrong. Just drop it. She doesn't sound like a good friend at all.

[MelliMel18]

Yeah, but thankfully this conversation was over the phone. She hasnt called me back since. I wonder if she realized what she was saying. Wonder if she is mad at me? If she is, i really dont care. Even my husband said, "why the hell would she saying something so stupid". I dont know. I just cant understand why she would say something so asinine. Knowing you are talking to someone who lost her baby. I just dont get it. ARG! It makes me so mad. Right now, i feel like calling her and screaming at her. God, you think people are your friends and will have a little more compassion for someone who has been thru a traumatic experience.

[lmrsoldier]

I would've definitely said something worse than you, so kudos for keeping your "cool". I have a 5 and almost 4 year old, and another one coming in March, and yeah, once you've had your kids that long, you can say "hey, I need a day". Until then, keep your legs closed if you can't even look forward to the person you've been making for 9 months!!! And to be inconsiderate of you and your situation is just rotten!! She knows what you went thru, and you shouldn't have to blow up or even mention that it bothers you, because she should automatically know that it hurts you. I say you have a selfish friend and she's damn lucky you're still in her life after making you deal with her and her rantings. Stay faithful girl, you will get your little miracle, and I can tell you will truly adore and enjoy him/her. Good luck to you!!

[cindy82]

no, you in the right, she knows what happened to you and should not be pretty much rubbing it in your face. i prob would have blew up 2

[njeosys]

I would've said the same thing, probably something worse. She just really does not understand. And why is she fussing about her baby crying or not having "time to herself?" DON'T GET PREGNANT if you are freaking out about needing time to yourself. I find plenty of time to myself during the times my kids sleep, or I leave my baby safe in her crib with toys if I need a moment to myself. It's called WORKING with what you've got.

Excuse me for getting frustrated, but I probably would've slapped her across the face and said something I'd regret.