Age gaps in children

[Clysta]

I know this has been asked a million times before, but for women that have had other children I'd like their experiences--both pros and cons. I've been thinking recently A LOT and part of me is kinda open and wants to maybe have one more child. (odd yes, I must be taking crazy pills) Anyways, I was wondering what kind of age gaps are ideal. Phil said he doesn't want to try till Kylie is 5, but that's too old to me. Not to mention I want to be done having children by the time I'm 25 (for my own personal reasons) This means I've got 3 years left. I'm not exactly looking forward to pregnancy again, but I figure since I have warning it might be a little easier this time. I'm also curious how you handle pregnancy when you have another child, how the child reacts and all those fun things. Any all info is welcome!!!

[Michele, Katy, TX]

I personally like the age of 2 years...maybe like 2 years and 3 or 4 months.  The closer they are in age, they just have more in common always and aren't in terribly different stages in life, throughout life.  But I can also understand some waiting a little bit longer.  I have enough to have some very close in age, but yet, I have some that have large age differences.

When they are close in age, it's hard when they are babies, but that only last for a short time and then it's so worth it to me.

As far as handling pregnancy when you have other children...as we have talked about...that part is really hard for me.  Pregnancy is not good to me and I don't breeze through it like some.  I am one that loves my kids but doesn't necessarily love being pregnant.  There are certain parts of it that are nice like seeing the u/s or starting to feel movement, or just the excitement of wondering who the baby will look like.  Those things I like but the first 16 weeks and the last trimester, I am not in a good place :(  So I can't lie.  Because if your having HG, it won't be easy.  My oldest daughters are less than 18 months apart and I can literally remember crawling to take care of the oldest one.  She was only 9 months old when I found out I was pregnant.  She wasn't even walking or sleeping through the night yet.  It was hard.  But now they are almost 10 and 8 and absolutely best friends.

As far as having a big family...it is so much fun.  I can't imagine only having a couple of kids.  I know big families aren't for everyone and I am certainly not suggesting that.  But for me, I just can't imagine not having all of my kids and the crazy chaos that comes along with having them.  It is fun and magical and always keeps things interesting, that's for sure!

Good for you!  Something tells me you will end up with one more ;)

[illsurvive]

i wouldnt want them a mroe than 2 yrs apart. but unfortunately i couldnt get pregnant. if they are close by age good for them. they can be friends. if there is age gap alot then its like mom and kid relationhip ( this is my opinion)

[babycrazy113]

I guess I took some of those crazy pills!!  My children are 12, 10 and almost 9.  I just remarried last July and we decided to try for one more.  It's a little scary thinking that I am starting all over again.  Like you, I was pretty sure that I was done having children by the time I was 25.  I am now going to be 33 in September and am due on September 10th with my fourth, and definitely final child!  I am really excited about this baby though!  It is different knowing for sure that this will be my last.  I also know that my other children will be a huge help with the baby.  

[lil_mama_of_3]

Between my son and Daughter there is 3years, and between my two sons there is 2years...I like those ages...and same as you my finacee wants to wait until our newest son is about 4 or 5 but i'm thinking more when he's 2 as well...I want to stop having kids at 25 like you for my own personal reason's....Good Luck in whatever you choose to do...I love having more then one, and my kids help me out and I like it haha...When cleaning my daughter will keep her brother busy for me, and I was an only child and it was lonely a lot of the time haha so I didn't want that for my child...Mind you they do fight but what kids don't...again good luck :):)

[snagglepuss1]

Just wanted to add: age gaps in siblings has zip to do with them getting on either! I think it's what they have in common that means they will get on/be close as they get older.
I have an older sister and brother, my sister is 3 years old my brother 14 months. I am not close to either of them at all. I have 2 younger brothers also, one 8 years and the other 10 years younger. I am far closer to them.
My 2 cousins (both girls) there is a 10 year age gap between them and they are as close as anything.

[snagglepuss1]

My dd was 18 months when ds1 was born, she was great with him, loved putting his dummy in when he cried and kissing him.
When ds2 arrived my dd was a week off being 3 and ds1 was 17 months. Dd loved having a baby brother again and helping change nappies etc that time round, but ds1 wouldn't come to me when they came to visit at hospital, it was like i'd abandoned him and left him with daddy, took him a little while to come round.
As i have no family close by, it was really tough in the early days with 3 little ones, but it did get easier. They are 6, 4 (almost 5) and 3 now. They are typical siblings and fight but they do get on well playing most of the time now they are a similar age.
BUT!!! i am so looking forward to having a baby number 4, where it will be just one to one time again! Baby 4 when it happens, will be our last and my youngest will be at least 4 by then and not far off going to school.
My circumstances dictated having 3 close together (lost 3 pregnancies and felt scared to leave it too long before ttc again) and I wouldn't change it but having children close together meant I missed out on seeing things where I was dealing with a newborn or screaming toddler.
A lot of my ds1's progress is blurry as I was like a zombie for 6 months after my 3rd baby was born.
I will also say, after ds2 was born I was so sure I didn't want anymore children. I turned 30 last November and started feeling the tick tock of my biological clock and the urge grew and grew...hence why we are ttc number 4 now!

[mylove97]

I don't have children, so I can't speak from experience as a mother, but I have always wanted my children to be close in age. I am from a family of 5 and my older sister is only 11 months older. We have a very close relationship, while my relationship with my other sister who is 6 years older is very distant. I mean we get along and all, but it's nothing like that of my other sister.

[wannabeamommy0124]

how many months apart are abby and zach? I am still waiting on miss AF to showp up... expected her on the 6th, ive never been regular so im kinda hoping its just cause my irregularity but since im not in BC (i know dumb me, but ive moved around so much since lo was born i have been focused to everything but my health..) anyways... i am thinking if i were pregnant they would be 11 months apart... about a year... i really wouldnt mind it if hubby wasnt getting deployed :(

[LosingMyMindInGA]

Here are the ages of my kids
Alex 14
Abby 7
Zach 6
Gabe 2
Lily 8 months

Alex and Abby really don't have a relationship...I mean they love each other but aren't close.  Abby and Zach on the other hand do.  They are so close but do fight a good bit.  Alex has a good relationship with Gabe and Lily.  Gabe and Zach fight like cats and dogs, Abby and Gabe are kind of 50/50.  Gabe is funny about Lily, he hates for anyone else to touch her but me and him and sometimes Alex.

All in all I'd say I really prefer the closer age differences to the wider ones.  

[Clysta]

I'm still considering it actually. I think I'm just going crazy. :) Hmmm...we'll treat this as a future if it happens reference. I doubt I'll have more though.

[NicoleW09]

Yeah I was shocked when I saw this post from you, Clysta. Wasn't it like last month that you were considering getting your tubes tied as a form of birth control? Lol. Just goes to show you that we're so indecisive! Haha.

[noodlemom]

Will be off to colege n the 2 youngest in about 3rd n 1st or 2nd grade. so they will be together. :)

[noodlemom]

My first daughter is 9 yrs old. my 2nd is 15 months n currently prego with #3. So there is a 8 yr gap between the first 2 n a 20 month gap between the 2nd n 3rd. it worked out so far so good. My oldest is very helpful n gets along great witg her sister. Wondering how the 2 babies will act together. Omg... They should be fine. My oldest woll be o

[Ashelen]

haha Clysta (btw I think 17 months is a good gap too...I have come to believe that closer is better for many reasons, but it all depends on how you feel) - but what I was laughing at is that my husband and I just started watching Glee...we had nothing to watch and we wanted to see what all the hype was about so we looked it up on Netflix..it's hilarious, btw. But it just reminded me of this super dumb girl on there who's sitting in the background of a scene, and one of the characters goes "why is she here?" and I don't remember exactly what she says but it's something along the lines of "I just took all of my antibiotics at once, and I can't remember how to leave..." so I just had to laugh about antibiotics making you crazy.

[Clysta]

Thanks everyone!! Like I said....it's a fleeting thing. I don't have too much desire for more, but I recently followed a blog about a family of 10 and it seemed....fun. I think the antibiotics I'm on are making me crazy, lmao.

My sister and I are 17 months apart, and that seems like a good age gap. We're really close and have a lot of fun together.

[Dolphin05]

My boys are 7 and 4 with a 3yr 2month age difference. I think the gap between them is perfect and they are still close. They play together all the time now that they are older but of course their is the sibling fights. When baby came my older one was independent, potty trained, and loved to help me out. Now with lil one thats on the way there will be an almost 8 and 5 year difference. So we shall see how this will work out because im not sure if there will be a 4th.

[Ashelen]

Kahlan is about 22 months older than Grey, because we conceived when she was 13 months old...that's our plan this time, so if we conceive right away Grey will be 21/22 months older than #3.

It's tough sometimes, but I don't think any other age gap would be any easier, unless you're talking more like 5+ years and I never wanted mine that far apart. Grey and Kahlan are super close and play together all day long...I really like the gap we have, which is why we're going to try to repeat it, lol.

I agree with tiredbuthappy - having 2 is easier to me than having 1, by far, and adding Grey was so easy it was almost scary...I kept saying "why isn't it hard?!" because when we brought Kahlan home from the hospital it was SO hard...but with Grey people were shocked it was such an easy transition from a family of 3 to 4. Heck, *I* was shocked!

but to answer your question - 21/22 months has been perfect for us. hard sometimes...but..perfect.

[NicoleW09]

My DH wants to wait until Lexi is five. Ii was thinking somewhere between 2-4 so that they were closer in age.

[tiredbuthappy]

Mine are 2 years apart, and I've always felt it was perfect.

The older one was independent when the baby came. But they are close enough together that they are already fantastic playmates. They are now 1 1/2 and 3 1/2 and play together all day. As soon as the little one was able to sit, they began to play together. I think if my first had been older, playing tea with an infant probably wouldn't have been as much fun as it was for her. I actually find having 2 is easier than 1, and my first was a very easy and happy toddler. Having a built-in playmate keeps them busy all day.