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Car Phobia
So I have this really bad phobia about cars and riding in them, especially in bad weather. I mean I literally broke down into a legit PANIC ATTACK one night because I was convinced my boyfriend would get into a wreck and die on his way home. :(
Well today I had a Dr. Appointment at 2:30. Just the normal heartbeat checkup (I'm 22+5) and we were supposed to go over new meds I was put on to discuss if I got another refill and if we were upping the dose or not, etc.
Unfortunately, my ride, my boyfriend's grandma, didn't feel comfortable driving in this weather. Initially I was annoyed because it didn't think the weather was that bad but when his mother didn't feel comfortable with driving either, I began to get hesitant. I still really wanted this visit. I only have 2 of my pills left and I literally burn and cry and throw up from severe GERD without them. :(
His mom's boyfriend was going to drive but then a friend described the roads as "utter sh*t" so I just decided to cancel. I didn't want to risk my baby's life when I could reschedule.
I'm so glad I did. Just riding 5 miles home was horrible. Passed 2 cars in ditches so I was like LOL NOOOOOPE. It would have been asking for a full blown, sobbing panic attack.
I really struggle with this phobia though... I always have. I picture all the ways we're going to wreck and die and as I'm riding I'll text my loved ones out of the blue that I love them because I literally think I'm going to die. It's hard because I like going out... Even worse pregnant. Before I could tell myself I was being paranoid. Now I have to worry about little Lizzy, too. Now it's like, how could I live with myself if the ONE TIME I ignored my phobia and something happened to her? :(
Does anyone else struggle with a phobia?
Well today I had a Dr. Appointment at 2:30. Just the normal heartbeat checkup (I'm 22+5) and we were supposed to go over new meds I was put on to discuss if I got another refill and if we were upping the dose or not, etc.
Unfortunately, my ride, my boyfriend's grandma, didn't feel comfortable driving in this weather. Initially I was annoyed because it didn't think the weather was that bad but when his mother didn't feel comfortable with driving either, I began to get hesitant. I still really wanted this visit. I only have 2 of my pills left and I literally burn and cry and throw up from severe GERD without them. :(
His mom's boyfriend was going to drive but then a friend described the roads as "utter sh*t" so I just decided to cancel. I didn't want to risk my baby's life when I could reschedule.
I'm so glad I did. Just riding 5 miles home was horrible. Passed 2 cars in ditches so I was like LOL NOOOOOPE. It would have been asking for a full blown, sobbing panic attack.
I really struggle with this phobia though... I always have. I picture all the ways we're going to wreck and die and as I'm riding I'll text my loved ones out of the blue that I love them because I literally think I'm going to die. It's hard because I like going out... Even worse pregnant. Before I could tell myself I was being paranoid. Now I have to worry about little Lizzy, too. Now it's like, how could I live with myself if the ONE TIME I ignored my phobia and something happened to her? :(
Does anyone else struggle with a phobia?
Oh yea I was n a car wreck last year car hit us n it was a heavy impact the car ended up being totalled and I was pregnant and didn't know. I was driving with my husband and the truck next to us had didn't strap in the bed n it hit the side of the car my daughter was on so I get real paranoid
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