Aa
Determined to not Make the same mistake
Im 24 and 31weeks pregnant with my second child... my first was a girl and she was taken from my custody by the state of utah when she was no more than 2 weeks old so i wasnt really given the proper chance to be a mom... never the less I fought to get her back for 4 long months till I went threw an extremely traumatic event that made me see that my daughter deserved better than what I would be putting her thru and realized that I wasn't quite Ready for that responsibility... any ways I don't wanna make that same mistake with my son so that I don't have to make that decision again. What can I do?
Have you tried getting state help? I don't know about your state laws or what's available for you there, but in Iowa there are programs that will find you a home and even pay your rent for you until you can do it on your own, and we have programs that give you money to help care for your family (although you'd have to actually have the baby before those ones will help you). You should look into it. I can't imagine there's not SOMETHING in your state to help you out.
And in response to others, a child will always deserve more. There is never too much yo can give a child. And even when a child is blessed with everything imaginable sometimes it still isnt enough. Love is the only thing that is given abundantly with no cost. This is her situation and she has to make the best of it until she can do better for herself and her child. Only we see materials and valuables. Everyone isnt blessed the same way. At the end of the day it is her child and her way of life. We can say all day how and what she should do, but the choice is hers. What she is content with or what she has to deal with is simply that. Would i like to be in a shelter pregnant? Definitely not, but if i had no where to go, its better in a shelter than in a cardboard box. Better sleeping on a cot than lying on the streets and pregnant. Life isnt sweet all the time.
Sometimes things happen to us, but that doesn't make us horrible people. I have never done drugs, but i have family members who have and if you've never been in that situation, you really don't know what you will do or how to handle things. Drugs disgust me because of the control they can have over good people. I believe it isn't easy to recover from stuff like that. When i was younger I visited my father in rehab; he had been a time before that as well. That was years ago.....im 21 now and he is 43. He hasn't been back or done any drugs since. Sometimes it takes us to fall completely on our face before we find the strength to do what we need or should do. Life is a cycle. You may not realize it, but God will put you through the same trials to give you that chance to fix whatever it is. If you are serious, you can do all things. It takes so little to be weak, that's the easiest thing you can do in life. So challenge yourself. Seriously. Even when it seems hard. Be strong. The housing the shelter will provide will be your stepping stone. From there on you do what you have to do. If you can apply for assistance do so. I know you want to stay around Utah to see your child, but if moving is beneficial look into it. Your children will love you for what you are and aren't. Especially while they're young, but when they get old enough to understand and you're still doing the same things, they won't feel the same. So you need to better yourself in any way that you can from now until.....
I dnt know how u feel because I never smoked or had a drink in my 22 years of living but I do know my daughter's grandma on her dad's side is a recovering addict she was on drug when he was younger his dad had custody of them she was not in her grandson life because of that she tells me stories of how hard it was for her her grandson is a granddaddy boy they dnt have a bond she never thought she would be a grandma again cause her eldest who wanted kids died of cancer and her son and daughter had no interest in kids so when she found out I was pregnant she tried her hardest to be there and do right as a way to start over and make up for not being there for her kids I'm sure she had doubts but since my daughter has been born they are two peas in a pod lol she is the greatest grandma I have ever seen you would've never knew she was a recovering addict have faith that you can do it it's hard to say and maybe do but u have to believe in urself hun u can do it
I dont mean to be rude but a child deserves more then a shelter...Thats not a way to live for a baby
A lot has actually changed since my daughter was born... and I stay in utah because even though she was adopted I still get to see my daughter... my wife also has get son here....
It doesn't sound like much of your situation has changed since your daughter was born. Is there a reason you have to stay in Utah? Maybe moving to a more liberal state with more resources for pregnant mothers might work out better.
You have to fight those urges everytime u think of wanting a drug remember what that will do you will be with our your baby who depends on you.. You have to be strong now because you are in charge of his life you have to be the best you can be... And being homeless im not sure about utah but maybe go to churches see if they can offee any assitance try to look for any resources you possibly can even if its a good family that will allow you to live with them anything is better than nothing and youd be amazed at what churces can help with...also housing assitance? Im in colorado and we have a waiting list also try to get a part time job for awhile or work through a temp agency just to try and get some money that way maybe you could find some1 willing to rent you a bedroom? Check out craigslist? You have to believe in yourself and know that you CAN do it for a better life for your son and you ..no excuses anything is possible as long as you try your hardest
My issue is that I live in utah and I am homeless trying to get on my feet... the shelter here won't do anything for me till two weeks from my due date.... I am also a recovering drug addict and being out on the streets is one of my major triggers...
Exactly what you are now it seems you have already got in it ypur head that you do not want your son to be taken so use that motivation to be the best mom you can be...give him all ypur love and make him your number 1 and be responsible with his life...accidents will always happen but do your best and keep him safe and loved and well taken care of you should have no problems
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Pregnancy Community
Get information and tips on how to help you choose the right place to deliver your baby.
Get the facts on how twins and multiples are formed and your chance of carrying more than one baby at a time.
Learn about the risks and benefits of circumcision.
What to expect during the first hours after delivery.
Learn about early screening and test options for your pregnancy.
Learn about testing and treatment for GBS bacterium.
