Is she lying????

[Tha__realest]

Ok this might be kinda stupid to ask but i am going to ask anyway......Ok my girl and I was kinda living together for a couple of months. We are both in the Army, but i had to get stationed somewhere. While we was together people told me alot of things about her and how she was playing me with another guy. Her own friends told me that they saw her coming out of a guy room late at night...i didn have any proof so i didn really say anything. So all her cheating and stuff i  think took place around the end of june. So we had sex a couple of times before i left in july. She was bleeding alot around th 15th of july, i figured it was her period. She said she was having a miscarriage. So before I left she wasnt pregnant. She called me on the road crying saying she took a test saying she wasnt....a couple of weeks down the line she calls me saying she is pregnant and the doc told her that the baby was concieved on or about July 4th. I purpose to her around that time but we didn really have much sex. She lies alot about alot of things. She also told me that she was on steriods shot and a testerone shot to make her 2 weeks more ahead of pregnancy. I dont know what to believe i just need answers and help. PLEASE...

[Elaine Brown, MD]

Hi!
It is possible to have an amniocentesis to determine the paternity of the baby.  Most of the time this is not done, because of the risks involved, and the expense.  In your case it will most likely be worth your while to have the testing done at some point, because if the Army thinks it is your baby, they will make you pay child support. ( I think ).
Your best bet, is to go with her to an appointment and ask the doctor how far along she is and what the conception date was.  ( I get this question a lot!).  If she is really pregnant, and if you are really the father, she won't object to taking you along.  I don't recommend getting married because of a baby, but I do like what Annie Brooke says about stepping up and being a good father!

Good Luck!
Dr B

[AnnieBrooke]

Until the baby is born, all you can really know is that it *could* be your child.  Her story is confusing, but you did have sex in July, and that is enough for there to at least be a chance.  Maybe she is trying to pin it on you and maybe she is simply confused about her dates.  (In other words, maybe her mixed-up story just reflects that she is mixed up, not malicious.)  But since you know there is at least the possibility it is yours, you have every right to DNA testing once the baby is born.  Regarding her threat to never speak to you again if you insist, don't let that bother you ... if the baby is yours, she will have to talk to you again -- you will have parental rights and issues of visitation and child support will need to be worked out.

Given that mentioning DNA testing again brings such a bad reaction, there is really no need for you to discuss it now.  Once the baby is born, you can bring it up with authority (i.e., with a lawyer, if she won't give you access to the baby).  The fact that she is telling you now that the baby is yours is enough reason to take the issue that seriously when the child is born.  

[Tha__realest]

Yes, i know it dont all add up. Im new to this whole pregnancy thing so anything she says to me i pretty much believe. I always wanted a son and i will alway be there for my child, but in this case i dont know what is real or fake. I couldn go with her to the first Ultrasound appointment.. i was in Colorado. So she called me and said that the doctor told her that the baby was concieved on July 4th. She is a high risk pregnancy and had 2 miscarriages before..well one that she actually went to the doctor for. I been asking around everywhere trying to figure this out, and everyone tells me the same thing.  Before I we hooked up she was already pregnant with someone else baby and said it was mines. I ask her that I wanted to take a DNA test she got upset at me. She said if i take a DNA test she will never talk to me agian. Which is a chance Im going to have to take. I tried asking her when her period comes on so I can figure this stuff out. She did'nt know. I just think that she got pregnant by someone else and trying to say it mines... I know it sounds mean but I just want to know for sure.

[AnnieBrooke]

It doesn't entirely add up, if she was bleeding around the 15th of July, that she would have conceived around July 4th.  On the other hand, women can bleed in early pregnancy.  If she is pregnant, if it is possible, go with her (or have someone you trust go with her) to her first ultrasound appointment, to hear the dates the ultrasound tech provides.  In any case, if you have been having sex with her in July and she turns out to be pregnant from a time that dates in July, you are going to need to do a DNA test once the baby is born.  It will tell if the child is yours or someone else's, and it is the only fair thing to do for the baby, for yourself, and for her.  Every child deserves to know where he or she comes from, and if the baby is yours, you will want to step up and be a good father, no matter what your relationship with the mother.  Good luck!