Just found out I am pregnant...i'm 39 years old and have very mixed emotions.

[suzyq6771]

I just found out that I am pregnant. I am 39 years old. Is that too old? Is it dangerous for me or my baby? I have a wonderful boyfriend who'm i'm engaged to and plan on marrying sometime in the near future(no date yet). We live together and I have two beautiful Daughter's 18(almost 19) and 11 and my BF has a son 14(who is by the way, the only child, and very spoiled and jealous of my two already). I told my BF yesterday, he was shocked and said "Well babe, it looks like we're having a baby." He really wants to have this baby with me.  I guess I'm still in the shock mode. I took my eleven year old to school this morning(her first day back,6th gr)  and on the way home I actually had a good, happy ,excited feeling and it made me cry(or was that just being overwhelmed by emotion?), but at the same time, i'm afraid, this was completely unplanned, and even though i see cute prescious baby's and think 'oh how i would love another baby' ...that was just a moments thought because i guess mine are older and i miss them being baby's. I don't know if that meant i wanted to be pregnant. I know this is a blessing. And I love my BF like i've never loved before, he is truly my sole mate. But i'm worried about his son being angry and jealous, not so much my girl's, i think they will welcome it(elteast my youngest)...I'm just concerned that i'm too old.  I really need some advice here and some inspiration....thankyou..:)    Suzie

[Cassandrajane]

I am here if you neeeed to talk to anyone!!! :) Promise :)
xx

[suzyq6771]

Thankyou Cassandrajane and everyone here, your words have inspired me!!  I did join the 35+ forum, thankyou.  Input and advice from anyone here any age i will embrace. :)

[Cassandrajane]

My mum had her last baby at 41. :) And my brother is a pain in the bum! LOL... but they are both fine. And she is high risk...

Cassie says everything is going to be okay. And in my kindest workds his son needs to grow up!!.... He is 14  not 3. Yes he is an only child but surely he was around kids and other family members when he was little? His dad needs to sit him down and say he hasnt forgotten about him... and stuff..

You're never too old to live. And this is what it is. You're living, and so is another little one. Be happy. Everything is going to be okay...

xx

[shuga1109]

Join the over 35 pregnancy community.  There are many women over 35, and over 40 already pregnant or trying to get pregnant!  We have such a great support team and made great friends that are more than willing to chat with you!  I am 36 and trying to conceive.  Its been pretty difficult for many of us, but many of us over 35 are still trying!  So, no you are not too old and you can have just as much a health pregnancy as a 23 year old!  Good Luck.  You'll be ok.  

[suzyq6771]

Your right ng15, thats what I tell myself.  :)

[ng15]

I'm sorry to hear that his ex-wife is such a problem. Unfortunately, you can't control their actions or how they respond to this pregnancy. Try to focus on the wonderful new life you and your fiance are bringing into this world and enjoy this time. Sometimes things just have a way of working out.

[suzyq6771]

thankyou, thankyou for these inspiring words. Its not been easy blending our children together, and like i said, my fiance's son is very jealous of me and my girl's even though i try so hard to make him happy and included, but i think that has a lot to do with his Mother, she is jealous of us too(even though she is living with my fiance's cousin in a serious relationship. She creates quite a bit of the animosity he has, she talks badly about his Father, she is actually right now harrassing him and i both, texting at 3am twenty to ninety text messages and they are horrible.  I basically think she just wants the girls and i out of the picture so she can control my fiance and their son can too. He lived with us all last year and i was basically his Mother(because he couldnt accept his Mother being with his Uncle),  never saw her or saw hide nor hair of her, let alone texting in the middle of the night. but she has used money to win him over and we are on a tight budget(she got 50,000.00 dollars out of the divorce. Now he is with his Mom and Uncle and he doesn't want to be with us or see his Dad unless his Dad is dropping a 'load' of money on him. We try to and do things all of us together and we buy him things , but when the spending stops , he's outta here.  And he doesn't want the girl's and I to be apart of 'any' time he spends with his Dad. He goes home and tells his Mom, for example "Dad took me to dinner and put put golfing, and they had to go too" then she is texting my fiance telling him he's a horrible Father and my kids arent his, and texts me that i'm trying to get in the way of their relationship, which is completely untrue. My fiance makes time for them to have just Father/Son time. and my girls try very hard to be nice to him. i'm very worried about what kind of reaction and problems this will cause from their end.  i'm feeling really stressed about it.

[jschoch8]

my 2nd cousin has 2 children i think 9&11 and she was 39 when she unexpectedly found out she was pregnant again. she just had her very healthy, beautiful baby girl the day before she turned 40 :)

[julianovak]

Get on prenatels! That is awesome!!!!! You are definatly not "too old" there is no set age.... I personally think someone can to be Too young to become a mom but never too old. This baby will bring your family together. Both of your kids will have a sibling.

[FreshLove]

Like LosingMyMindInGA said, your doc might monitor you more closely but you should be just fine. And as for the kids it could really go either way. I am 10 years older than my younger brother and we are really close, even though he is from my mom's second marriage. Just make sure your kids now how important they are to you and try to include them in this exciting pregnancy journey.

Good luck!!

[ng15]

Suzie, you are not too old. I work in L&D and postpartum in a hospital and see moms over the age of 40 quite frequently, many are first time moms. I think the anxieties you are feeling are completely normal. Even planned pregnancies come with anxieties! My hubby & I tried for 10 months before we got pregnant and even now I have moments of panic about how this is going to change our lives; I attribute a lot of it to the crazy hormones of pregnancy :) Your fiance's son may surprise you! When you decide to tell the kids, you can focus on how important your other kids will be to this baby and all the fun stuff they'll be able to teach him/her. Granted, it might not be as simple as that, but it's worth a shot. I wish you all the best of luck! I am 8 years younger than my closest sister and it was never a problem for us even though I took over her spot as the baby of the family.

[suzyq6771]

Thankyou..:)

[LosingMyMindInGA]

http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Pregnancy-35/show/89?camp=msc

try following that link and see if it will let you.  There are some really nice ladies over there who have become pregnant around the same age as you and older and I think you'll get some really good advice from them.  That forum doesn't have quite the volume of traffic as this one but it's pretty busy. But if you have any questions you are more than welcome to post them here as well :)

[suzyq6771]

Hi and thankyou so much for your advice. I know, when i tried to post my question the only pregnancy category that i could pick was  "pregnancy 18-34"  ????

[LosingMyMindInGA]

As long as you are in good health to begin with you should be fine,.  Being over 35 your ob will most likely monitor you a little more closely and you may be offered more screening tests becuase you are considered "advanced maternal age" however women in their 40's have perfectly healthy pregnancies and babies.  Just remember to take care of yourself and all should be well. Good luck and congrats!!! BTW if you haven't found it already we have a wonderful forum for Pregnancy 35+  it's a forum specifically for women who are pregnant or trying to become pregnant over the age of the 35.