More miscarriage questions

[Clysta]

I just can't seem to get this out of my head. I hope that you ladies will be able to give me some better ideas. I've been wondering about the reasons for miscarriage. I know that usually it's no fault of the mother, but I'm wondering if this time it might have been. Many will say that you won't get pregnant if your body couldn't handle it, but I myself don't believe this. My thought is that you can get pregnant regardless, it's just a matter of if it will stick or not. Right now, I'm unhealthy. I'm 100 pounds, and doctors say I'm malnourished. My question is, is it possible that my body was unable to nourish a pregnancy so it expelled it? I know that we'll never actually know for sure, but I just can't stop wondering about it. My doctor told me that it's better this way, because following the trend of Kylie I would drop to under 80 pounds. Physically, he thinks my body would give out or I would starve. (This is also based on the fact that I still am having food/stomach issues and can't eat much) I keep blaming myself for this and can't get it out of my mind.

[needhelp24121]

I've heard that the body will protect a healthy baby over the mom. I know someone who tried to abort a baby by just starving themself and it didn't work, she ended up in the hospital very sick and the baby was just fine.

I know it's hard not to blame yourself, but try not to. Sometimes I still think there is something I could've done to prevent the miscarriage I had last year, even though I'm almost 28 weeks pregnant now.

As far as it running in your family, I'm not sure if there is any evidence to to back that up, but I do think it has to be in a way. A lot of women in both my parents families have had miscarriages and I did to. My mom had all of her kids early 3-8 weeks, and I'm on bedrest now because I just found out my cervix is way shorter than it should be. The doctors don't want me to go into labor yet, they want me to try and hold on until at least 32 weeks.

I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope you feel better soon. I know it takes time.

[superchoc]

things happen most when you are not prepared, and when you are prepared it seems to never happen! lol

[Clysta]

It didn't help when my sister went into labour at 35 weeks, and my mom telling me she had all of us 6 weeks early. Needless to say, I had everything prepared by 32 weeks. Just in case. :)

[superchoc]

maybe its just what runs in the family, another reason not to blame yourself :) you & your aunt are very lucky to have carried to term, suppose it was constantly in the back of your head that you may have went early

[Clysta]

Thank you. I know I shouldn't, and really I know better than this. There are so many factors really, and it doesn't help that women in my family are known to have miscarriages and preterm labour. Out of all the women who have given birth, myself and my aunt are the only ones to not have preterm labour, and only my sister and aunt (the same aunt who never had preterm labour) are the only ones to not have a miscarriage. I'm just being irrational.

[sweetpea03]

It's possible, but you can't blame yourself for this. There are so many possible reasons for why you might have miscarried and you will drive yourself crazyyy if you keep thinking about it all. I like to think that "everything happens for a reason" and this was just not the right time for you to be pregnant, so you miscarried. If you did not miscarry, you could have gotten very very sick, so this can be a blessing in disguise. Miscarriages are very common, so don't beat yourself up over this. I know it's hard, but don't blame yourself.

[superchoc]

i doubt it was from being malnourised. womens bodies are programmed to give what nourishments the baby needs regardless. like those living in third world countries, living off very dirty water and rice.. they still reproduce. i once watched a documentary about a girl with an eating disorder who ate only one flavour of crisps for over 10 years, she tried a diet and developed a phobia of normal food. they said even though she was eating next to nothing, her body was turning fats & whatnot into what her body needed. please dont blame yourself. its one of these things that sadly happens. i think 1 in 4 pregnancies end up the same - quite a large number at that. even though it is quite common, it still doesnt make it less shocking when it happens ourselves or a loved one.