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OT: Cosleeping
I know cosleeping is a controversial topic for some people, but I need some advice. Right now Lexi is 3w old and we have her sleeping in the bassinet pulled up flush with our bed. It's worked out fine, but over the last week she won't sleep for longer than an hour unless she's in the bed beside me or DH. She'll lay in her bassinet and cry and not go to sleep unless she's held or laying next to one of us. I'm afraid of putting her in the bed with us, but I don't want her to cry and not get rested either. Even if I get her to sleep then put her in her bed, she'll wake up within 30min. What do I do?
Sids is NOT casued by co sleeping and only in teh US are most babies put in their own beds! There hase been tons of studeist that show it is safer to co sleep and healthier for baby. THere was recently an 800 group of independant studoes over the worls that showed that babies till around age 5 1/2 have anxiety about being in ther own beds and at that age was when their mental maturity changed. They would have higher levels of a stress hormone when laid seperate from their parents to the extreem the study showed that it effected a vast majority of the childrens health and furture health. I live in the moutains of KY and 98% co sleep and there has nto been a sids or crib death here for over 50 years! It is the same as in other countries, they co sleep and they have never heard of crib death cot death or sids! Babies just need to be away from your blankets and I do not use a pillow when he is with me. Babies are in tune to your breathing which helps them breath! It was a dr in the US that started babies not sleeping with mom that had NO studies to back it up then it went from there. I have 4 chidren and never did I let my first one sleep with me as I was scared to death, my second one nursed every hour for 20-30 min till age 10 months at night so I had to let her or I would ge tno sleep and then my last one loves it! He likes his bed to but sometimes he will not sleep without me especailly for naps. I will try to find the study and message you with the link. I am off to bed for the night and will get it tomorrow, but you are aware the baby is there even when you are sleeping so you will be fine. Blankets just have to be kept away from baby.
Tending to her needs is important! She is communicating stress and it is impoartant your resond and let her know she is OK! Letting her cry and get stresses is not good. SO if you know she is getting anxiety over it by waking so often then I would not put her through it either and just let her sleep with you! I understand you scared as I was but it really is safe and we are reacting to what we have heard for so many years!
Tending to her needs is important! She is communicating stress and it is impoartant your resond and let her know she is OK! Letting her cry and get stresses is not good. SO if you know she is getting anxiety over it by waking so often then I would not put her through it either and just let her sleep with you! I understand you scared as I was but it really is safe and we are reacting to what we have heard for so many years!
If you're comfortable with the idea, go for it. I've co-slept with my daughter since she was a week or two old. Properly done, co-sleeping is beneficial to both mother and baby. Their breathing learns to regulate much better and if you're breastfeeding it makes it 100x easier as well.
I co-slept with both of my boys since I nursed them and it made life so much easier and we both would get good sleep at night. I would slowly put them in the co-sleeper, which attaches next to the bed, so they would eventually learn to sleep on their own. I let them go through this process slowly and it eventually pays off. Do what is comfortable for you and baby. Also, she is only 3weeks and still needs to be close to mommy. :)
I didn't cosleep because DH is a deep sleeper and I didn't feel safe. Like you, I had the baby next to me in the bassinet.
I would try swaddling and white noise with the baby in the bassinet. Many report it works like a charm. Some babies will fight the swaddle for the first minute, but then you may see her relax. It definitely helped my baby sleep better (not great, but the poor thing had many issues with reflux and colic). The swaddle and white noise remind the baby of the warmth and security of the womb, which is what she is getting when she's snuggled up next to you.
I would try swaddling and white noise with the baby in the bassinet. Many report it works like a charm. Some babies will fight the swaddle for the first minute, but then you may see her relax. It definitely helped my baby sleep better (not great, but the poor thing had many issues with reflux and colic). The swaddle and white noise remind the baby of the warmth and security of the womb, which is what she is getting when she's snuggled up next to you.
I co-slept/sleep with both of my kids, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I know it doesn't work for everyone, but if you're comfortable with it, I consider it to be highly beneficial for the entire family (if you're comfortable with it being the key).
haha, Henry still sleeps in his bed for the most part so I have not run into this issue except for wake times;) I have wondered the same thing if we were to go full time with co sleeping! This is always something that comes up with this subject
We have a co-sleeper crib that attaches to the bed. I was thinking we would use that till the baby can sleep for at least 4 hour stretches alone. Then I would move him/her to the free standing crib. I'm not opposed to co-sleeping but I do want to maintain a healthy intimacy with my husband. Just wasn't sure how that works with kids in the bed.
DH is a heavy sleeper and punched and kicked me many times while I was pregnant with her. So, the thought of having her cosleep scares me. I don't move much while I'm asleep but I'm afraid I'd roll over on her. She has reflux and I got really bad sick a week an a half pp and my milk dried up so we've been formula feeding. I have to sit her up for 20 min after she eats and at night I sort of fall asleep holding her and I'll wake up after about an hour after she's eaten and she's sound asleep. She slept better last night because I kept holding her until she was in a deep sleep then moved her to her bed. She also does really well napping in her swing, but I don't know how safe it is to put her to bed in it. Not to mention I sort of have separation anxiety and can't stand to be too far away from her.
I have co-slept w/ all 6 of my kids. Well, I take that back.....one of them didn't like it. She was weird. LOL!! I hardly move at all when I sleep. If I am by myself, I can literally just pull the blanket up and it looks as if the bed has not been slept in. My husband, however, it looks like a tornado hit my bed, so he got kicked out a couple of kids ago. I know it sounds terrible, but he doesn't have to do the waking up or nursing or anything really; especially overnight. So whatever it takes to get some sleep, so that I can be a mother to my baby and my other kids, we do. I expect my husband to understand since his sleep is so important to him and he does understand.
To the OP.....I always start by trying to have my babies sleep in their cradle/bed, but the always end up with me for the same reason. As soon as you put them down, they wake up and then the process starts all over again. It is exhausting....
To the OP.....I always start by trying to have my babies sleep in their cradle/bed, but the always end up with me for the same reason. As soon as you put them down, they wake up and then the process starts all over again. It is exhausting....
If she has reflux, then it may have a lot to do with it. Have you tried elevating her bassinet mattress a little? It may help.
As for sleeping in the swing, it is safe as long as the baby is strapped in and it is one of those cradle swings and is reclined as far as it goes. If it is not one of those cradle swings, there is a risk of positional asphyxiation. Of course, if you start this habit, it may be hard to break. The swing also cradles her body a bit, in addition to providing elevation. The swaddle may help replicate that feeling.
As for sleeping in the swing, it is safe as long as the baby is strapped in and it is one of those cradle swings and is reclined as far as it goes. If it is not one of those cradle swings, there is a risk of positional asphyxiation. Of course, if you start this habit, it may be hard to break. The swing also cradles her body a bit, in addition to providing elevation. The swaddle may help replicate that feeling.
I also co-slept with my kids. I used the arms reach mini co-sleeper for the first few months(LOVED it a godsend!), its like a basinet but is the same level as your mattress and is open.(look it up, my explanation is not so great lol) I also put a sleep positioner in there and used a swaddling blanket(I never could swaddle right with a regular blanket) Then when they got older they transitioned into my bed(yea me, lol) They are now 6 and 8 and have finally moved on to there beds. Hubby was fine with it and as far as intimacy, we made time whenever we could. Good luck.
honestly my answer will be somewhat controversial, but i do not mean to offend anyone.
i completely disagree that co-sleeping does not increase the risk of SIDS... i spoke with a pediatrician one time about SIDS, and she told me she saw more of it with teenage mothers and babies living in poverty that shared beds with other children or didn't sleep on their backs without blankets, stuffed animals, etc..sharing the bed with another kid is the same as sharing a bed with an adult.
when ariana was very little (around 3/4 weeks) she would wake up to eat at about 5 am. i would lay her on the boppy pillow and feed her and then fall asleep with her on the pillow in our bed. i quickly stopped doing this, because a couple of times i woke up with the covers over her mouth & nose. it scared the S H I T outta me. i thought she might have been dead. she COULD have been dead. she could have breathed too much carbon dioxide and suffered from SIDS. it was very irresponsibile of me, i think. i NEVER EVER sleep with her in our bed anymore.
whether or not there are studies about co-sleeping being beneficial or what not, there are also numerous, COUNTLESS, stories of people rolling over & killing their baby. just the other day i heard of a baby that DIED on it's father's CHEST from breathing HIS carbon dioxide.
i also disagree that it stresses the baby out. my daughter has slept in her crib from day one at home. (with the only exception being those 3 hours in our bed for a week/two)... and to this day, she PREFERS to sleep in her crib. theres been a few times where i have tried to get her to take a nap other places around the house, and she cries until i put her in her crib, and then she's out. she's only 7 months old, but she already knows its her bed and she prefers her bed. i do not think that would be the case if it "stressed" babies out to be in their own beds.
the american academy of pediatrics HIGHLY recommends that babies sleep in a safe crib, on their backs, with NO stuffed animals or blankets. and if you DO decide to co-sleep, get a co-sleeper that is designed to keep the parents from rolling over on the baby. i dont think the academy is anything to argue with, they know their stuff.
i dont think you should put your baby in the bed with you. try getting a co-sleeper that attaches to the side of your bed, but please, don't put your baby in the bed. its just not safe.
i completely disagree that co-sleeping does not increase the risk of SIDS... i spoke with a pediatrician one time about SIDS, and she told me she saw more of it with teenage mothers and babies living in poverty that shared beds with other children or didn't sleep on their backs without blankets, stuffed animals, etc..sharing the bed with another kid is the same as sharing a bed with an adult.
when ariana was very little (around 3/4 weeks) she would wake up to eat at about 5 am. i would lay her on the boppy pillow and feed her and then fall asleep with her on the pillow in our bed. i quickly stopped doing this, because a couple of times i woke up with the covers over her mouth & nose. it scared the S H I T outta me. i thought she might have been dead. she COULD have been dead. she could have breathed too much carbon dioxide and suffered from SIDS. it was very irresponsibile of me, i think. i NEVER EVER sleep with her in our bed anymore.
whether or not there are studies about co-sleeping being beneficial or what not, there are also numerous, COUNTLESS, stories of people rolling over & killing their baby. just the other day i heard of a baby that DIED on it's father's CHEST from breathing HIS carbon dioxide.
i also disagree that it stresses the baby out. my daughter has slept in her crib from day one at home. (with the only exception being those 3 hours in our bed for a week/two)... and to this day, she PREFERS to sleep in her crib. theres been a few times where i have tried to get her to take a nap other places around the house, and she cries until i put her in her crib, and then she's out. she's only 7 months old, but she already knows its her bed and she prefers her bed. i do not think that would be the case if it "stressed" babies out to be in their own beds.
the american academy of pediatrics HIGHLY recommends that babies sleep in a safe crib, on their backs, with NO stuffed animals or blankets. and if you DO decide to co-sleep, get a co-sleeper that is designed to keep the parents from rolling over on the baby. i dont think the academy is anything to argue with, they know their stuff.
i dont think you should put your baby in the bed with you. try getting a co-sleeper that attaches to the side of your bed, but please, don't put your baby in the bed. its just not safe.
"if its done safely" ... meaning a bed attached to the bed of the parents that prevents them from rolling onto the baby...like i said.
its not that i think its unsafe because i don't do it. its considered unsafe and this isn't just my opinion.
its not that i think its unsafe because i don't do it. its considered unsafe and this isn't just my opinion.
I had my son sleeping with me for the first 2 weeks only, just because i was so in love with him and didnt want to put him down. then I had to be reminded of how unsafe it was. So I quit, my son is almsot 8 months old now, and wont sleep anywhere but his crib, he stayed at his grandmas one night and was up every hour they said. given i have to rock him to sleep right now cause hes cutting a tooth. but if i lay him in my bed for a nap, he will jsut play or cry. but if I lay him in his crib in his own room, and shut the door he goes to sleep on his own without a peep, other then now since hes cutting a tooth..
I dont think its safe, and honestly I dont believe it is okay.. my niece is still sleeping my sister and she is almost 3. my sister regrets it now. she gets no alone time with her boyfriend. and my niece WILL NOT sleep anywhere else... how are you introducing independance to your children? remember my opinion only.. no need for arguements.. everyon has there easons to do and to not do it.. to each there own!
I dont think its safe, and honestly I dont believe it is okay.. my niece is still sleeping my sister and she is almost 3. my sister regrets it now. she gets no alone time with her boyfriend. and my niece WILL NOT sleep anywhere else... how are you introducing independance to your children? remember my opinion only.. no need for arguements.. everyon has there easons to do and to not do it.. to each there own!
according to the CPSC, 515 deaths from babies under the age of 2 died from co-sleeping from jan 1990 to december 1997... 121 of those deaths were from the co-sleeper rolling over onto or against the baby.
if that isn't bad enough, more than 100 deaths between jan 1999 and dec 2001 were from "hidden hazards" that caused the baby to become suffocated or strangled in the bed.
thats enough evidence for me.
if that isn't bad enough, more than 100 deaths between jan 1999 and dec 2001 were from "hidden hazards" that caused the baby to become suffocated or strangled in the bed.
thats enough evidence for me.
Don't post here often but found myself drawn to this question. It is interesting. Many other countries have co sleeping as the cultural norm. As in it is never even a question and it would be unusual not to.
It is a very personal choice and I chose not to. I had my newborn son on the first night he was home from the hospital in a little bassinet right beside me. I laid staring at the ceiling waiting to not hear his loud breathing. Waiting . . . waiting . . . and waiting. I moved him out to the hall outside our door after some time and was able to sleep. I was such a tired new mom-------- I realized that my light sleeping would result in my being awake all night with my little one and that would not be good for either of us. He was sleeping in his own room the next night. I probably would have gotten use to it as I remember a similar experience the first night with my husband . . . and I did get used to him and can now sleep through the night . . . sort of. But as I was so desperate for sleep, it was important for me to get it and baby was safe ------- so it was the right decision for me.
I do think that when a family chooses to co sleep that a couple must be really careful to protect their closeness that comes from intimate time together . . . just them. I do think that a couple must be separate from their kids at times to be partners and stay connected as adults verses parents. Most couples work that out though.
But I did want to note that if you look at cultures around the world, in many other places besides the Western world, co sleeping would not be questioned at all.
Luck to all and happy sleeping-------- however you do it!
It is a very personal choice and I chose not to. I had my newborn son on the first night he was home from the hospital in a little bassinet right beside me. I laid staring at the ceiling waiting to not hear his loud breathing. Waiting . . . waiting . . . and waiting. I moved him out to the hall outside our door after some time and was able to sleep. I was such a tired new mom-------- I realized that my light sleeping would result in my being awake all night with my little one and that would not be good for either of us. He was sleeping in his own room the next night. I probably would have gotten use to it as I remember a similar experience the first night with my husband . . . and I did get used to him and can now sleep through the night . . . sort of. But as I was so desperate for sleep, it was important for me to get it and baby was safe ------- so it was the right decision for me.
I do think that when a family chooses to co sleep that a couple must be really careful to protect their closeness that comes from intimate time together . . . just them. I do think that a couple must be separate from their kids at times to be partners and stay connected as adults verses parents. Most couples work that out though.
But I did want to note that if you look at cultures around the world, in many other places besides the Western world, co sleeping would not be questioned at all.
Luck to all and happy sleeping-------- however you do it!
Oh, and when I said safe in the other room-------- that was not to say he was unsafe in mine. Just that I knew he was okay and found my ability to get the sleep I needed with him breathing (boy babies breath loud!) next door verses in my ear.
I still co-sleep with my 8month old and really glad I did it. Baby sleeps well and I sleep well as I don't have to get out of bed if he needs me at night as I don't feel letting him cry.
In the begining I started it as it was difficult for me to get out of bed because of episiotomy to take the baby when he was about a week old.
I won't lie it was bit scary in the bigining with all the taboo attached to it.. but after a little while both DH and I became comfortable with it.
As long as both you and baby gets to have some sleep; go with whatever you feel comfortable doing.
In the begining I started it as it was difficult for me to get out of bed because of episiotomy to take the baby when he was about a week old.
I won't lie it was bit scary in the bigining with all the taboo attached to it.. but after a little while both DH and I became comfortable with it.
As long as both you and baby gets to have some sleep; go with whatever you feel comfortable doing.
I co-sleep some but mostly Kealynn is in her bassinet. She's now 4 months old. Mostly co-sleep for naps when dads not in the bed with us.
I don't discuss this with anyone because the few times that this has been brought up I have gotten negative remarks from family and it's really none of there business how I take care of my child. As long as she is healthy and happy.
Kaelynn will sleep good in her bassinet as long as she is swaddled tightly. If she's not swaddled she will wake up the second you put her down.
I don't discuss this with anyone because the few times that this has been brought up I have gotten negative remarks from family and it's really none of there business how I take care of my child. As long as she is healthy and happy.
Kaelynn will sleep good in her bassinet as long as she is swaddled tightly. If she's not swaddled she will wake up the second you put her down.
I cosleep and wouldn't have it any other way. My babies and I are so in synch. I'm a light sleeper though, and both my husband and I do not move much at night. My youngest child of 6 is almost 14 months and just getting transitioned to his crib after never sleeping in it even once the whole first 13 months of his life. It makes nursing so much easier and I think its so much more natural than having baby alone at such a young, tender age. That human skin contact, warmth and breathing synchronization is so important IMO. I have LOVED having my babies so close at night. It's such a special bond for us. I miss them deeply when I do start putting them in their crib. It is a very personal decision though. You know your sleeping habits. It has just worked very well for our family. Good luck!
Oh, and if it weren't for my hubby putting the pressure on me to get him in his crib, I would have no problem continuing with co sleeping but since we have an 8 day trip to Hawaii in just 7 weeks he and I feel it will be less traumatic to have him comfortable with sleeping on his own in his crib. I firmly believe that babies and toddlers will let you know on their own when they are ready to wean from it and it makes it much less traumatic.
Many couples sneak out of bed in the night to have sexy time elsewhere in the house when the co sleep.
Well, I don't consider SIDS as a suffocation death. I consider SIDS as being an undetermined death by infants. Suffocation is, indeed, a determined death. So to me, if a baby dies of suffocation, even by accident, it is not SIDS. It's suffocation. I feel the same way about strangulation by accident. I suppose if the "experts" want to put it under the "SIDS" category, I surely can't stop them, but that is not the same thing to me.
If you are someone with only one child and you stay home with that child, you very well may be able to sleep when your baby sleeps during the day/night. But if you have other children to take care of, you may only have a small block of time to sleep at night. You have other children to care for during the day. So you have to do what you feel you have to do to get some sleep just to be able to function. We are not machines after all. We're human beings.
There are always going to be studies on both sides of the fence for any given topic. At the end of the day, one has to do what they feel is best for their baby/them/their family.
If you are someone with only one child and you stay home with that child, you very well may be able to sleep when your baby sleeps during the day/night. But if you have other children to take care of, you may only have a small block of time to sleep at night. You have other children to care for during the day. So you have to do what you feel you have to do to get some sleep just to be able to function. We are not machines after all. We're human beings.
There are always going to be studies on both sides of the fence for any given topic. At the end of the day, one has to do what they feel is best for their baby/them/their family.
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