Aa
OT- I want your opinions please
Joe and I have been together for over three years and have lived together basically the entire time and now we have our second child on the way. We have always talked about getting married and now that I am pregnant again I think we should really do it soon. I have been feeling like **** about myself to the point where I don't want to tell people about my pregnancy since I am not married. I love him very much and want to spend my life with him so the baby isn't the only reason for getting married.
I have always dreamed of having a beautiful wedding with family and close friends, nothing too big but we are not in a financial place to have an actual ceremony and reception even if my Dad helps. Joe doesn't have parents so there will be no help on his side either. So, I have been thinking that we can just get married in the court house and have a party late next summer after the baby comes and I can wear a wedding gown then.
What do you all think of court house wedding? Did any of you have one? If so, how did you make it special and not depressing?
It makes me sad to think that I wont have my dream wedding but I don't want to wait anymore.
I have always dreamed of having a beautiful wedding with family and close friends, nothing too big but we are not in a financial place to have an actual ceremony and reception even if my Dad helps. Joe doesn't have parents so there will be no help on his side either. So, I have been thinking that we can just get married in the court house and have a party late next summer after the baby comes and I can wear a wedding gown then.
What do you all think of court house wedding? Did any of you have one? If so, how did you make it special and not depressing?
It makes me sad to think that I wont have my dream wedding but I don't want to wait anymore.
If you want to get married before that baby comes, i say go for it! And it WILL be special b/c you're making a commitment to each other, regardless of where, when or how it takes place......
And as far as having your dream wedding.....Absolutely do something in the summer, renew your vows, get a beautiful dress...You can do things up nicely and inexpensively now.........
Like you said, you plan on getting married anyway....what better time than now!!!!
And as far as having your dream wedding.....Absolutely do something in the summer, renew your vows, get a beautiful dress...You can do things up nicely and inexpensively now.........
Like you said, you plan on getting married anyway....what better time than now!!!!
I hear what you are saying about the courthouse...DH and I didn't have any personal reason for not doing it at one other than the fact that we love the outdoors and the state park was special to us...Are there any indoor places that are special to the two of you? You could always try a restaurant or hotel with a beautiful lobby...courthouses just seem like a place nobody wants to be...they are so cold and I don't know....
Part of what is making this hard for me is that because of DB's not so perfect past the courthouse is a scary place for him, not to mention I had a restraining order put on my ex boyfriend there. Our court house is connected to the county jail which also makes it even more romantic. I wish I didn't have bad experiences with this court house and maybe I wouldn't have an issue with going there.
Laura- your picture is very cute, you are such a munchkin compared to your hubby LOL
Laura- your picture is very cute, you are such a munchkin compared to your hubby LOL
i got married at the jp in a black dress. my ONLY regret is the black dress. i love my husband, and it was the happiest day of my life. we had a small party after the wedding and it was great. i wouldnt have done it any differently. we are just as married as my sil and she spent 40k on her wedding!
I do love winter so I wouldn't mind getting married in a snowy park but I know no one else would be OK with it LOL
I forgot it is winter lol We did this in the fall so outdoors was actually beautiful!
AND I agree...after you are married you won't even care about anything because you will be sooooo high on love and the idea of actually being married! The party later on does sound nice, and if you want to wear a gown, you could renew your vows...
mam18- we live in an apartment and my moms house is under construction so the court house is our only option since it is 15 degrees here most days now.
Hmmm, I just don't know
All of your stories help a lot, thank you :)
Hmmm, I just don't know
All of your stories help a lot, thank you :)
Wow...I didn't realize how long my post was....sorry! point is, you can not do it at a courthouse, you can do it somewhere with a justice of the peace and it might feel a little less 'cold' than a courthouse where all sorts of business takes place...trials, divorces, probation...
Well, I'll tell you a little history of my relationship and what we did for a wedding:
DH and I started dating at 16...moved in together at 18...got engaged at 19...I was in college & my mother felt very strongly about having a long engagement and waiting until I was done with college so we just lived like a married couple until I graduated college...23 I graduated from college (May) and got hired to start a teaching job in the fall...DH had no health insurance for years so it was important for me to be able to carry him with my benefits. We had NO money for a wedding and my mom is a single mom, she is a teacher (so she is not rolling in the dough) AND she had just paid out of pocket for my college education every month for the last 5 years!!!!! She drove an old car, tutored at night, taught summer school, sometimes worked on weekends, wore clothes that were hand me downs from my aunts or went to consignment shops etc., had no 'extras' because she sacrificed it all for my education. There was no way I was going to ask her to help...and I know it broke her heart that she could not give me a dream wedding. So dh and I decided two things were important to us: marriage and location...Before we were engaged we chose this state park with a covered bridge, lake and waterfall that we said IF we ever got married this would be the place...SO, we got rings (a bit of a splurge but dh said we were only doing this once so why not get ones that we'd never want to trade up etc. but you can get plain bands cheap!) we hired a justice of the peace (I think it was like $150....she came to the state park, set up a small table with a unity candle and had candles for each of us to light the unity candle with, and got our marriage license), dh got a boutonniere and I got a small bouquet of roses, rosehips, and other unusual fall looking stuff that was sooo beautiful I wish I was able to keep it (It was less than $50 for both) and that was it. We invited my mom...she took the pictures...only got a couple with thumbs in them! And then we went out to eat. Literally our rings were the most expensive part....Oh, and dh did get a new shirt and tie...(less than $50) I wore a short green dress that I already owned that I knew he liked...and it looked nice in the pics with the forest etc.
Every now and then I get wistful that I didn't have the beautiful white dress and my hair and makeup done etc. I usually just feel jealous that I didn't have a day where I was the center of attention and looked beautiful...BUT dh tells me that I was beautiful and that I always am...professional hair and makeup or not...fancy dress or not...
So, do what feels right for you...other than the fact that I wanted to feel more beautiful (I know it sounds shallow) I have no regrets.
DH and I started dating at 16...moved in together at 18...got engaged at 19...I was in college & my mother felt very strongly about having a long engagement and waiting until I was done with college so we just lived like a married couple until I graduated college...23 I graduated from college (May) and got hired to start a teaching job in the fall...DH had no health insurance for years so it was important for me to be able to carry him with my benefits. We had NO money for a wedding and my mom is a single mom, she is a teacher (so she is not rolling in the dough) AND she had just paid out of pocket for my college education every month for the last 5 years!!!!! She drove an old car, tutored at night, taught summer school, sometimes worked on weekends, wore clothes that were hand me downs from my aunts or went to consignment shops etc., had no 'extras' because she sacrificed it all for my education. There was no way I was going to ask her to help...and I know it broke her heart that she could not give me a dream wedding. So dh and I decided two things were important to us: marriage and location...Before we were engaged we chose this state park with a covered bridge, lake and waterfall that we said IF we ever got married this would be the place...SO, we got rings (a bit of a splurge but dh said we were only doing this once so why not get ones that we'd never want to trade up etc. but you can get plain bands cheap!) we hired a justice of the peace (I think it was like $150....she came to the state park, set up a small table with a unity candle and had candles for each of us to light the unity candle with, and got our marriage license), dh got a boutonniere and I got a small bouquet of roses, rosehips, and other unusual fall looking stuff that was sooo beautiful I wish I was able to keep it (It was less than $50 for both) and that was it. We invited my mom...she took the pictures...only got a couple with thumbs in them! And then we went out to eat. Literally our rings were the most expensive part....Oh, and dh did get a new shirt and tie...(less than $50) I wore a short green dress that I already owned that I knew he liked...and it looked nice in the pics with the forest etc.
Every now and then I get wistful that I didn't have the beautiful white dress and my hair and makeup done etc. I usually just feel jealous that I didn't have a day where I was the center of attention and looked beautiful...BUT dh tells me that I was beautiful and that I always am...professional hair and makeup or not...fancy dress or not...
So, do what feels right for you...other than the fact that I wanted to feel more beautiful (I know it sounds shallow) I have no regrets.
I had the ceremony at my house and only had 2 witnesses and my daughters. I don't think there is a limit as long as they can confortably fit in the room. I did mine in the living room and it's big so i guess it depends on where you do it. If you can have the judge do the wedding at your house that would be the best that way you will be at a familiar place and won't feel that bad about it. Like i said, i don't regreat it.
GRose - I went to a few of my friends weddings at the courthouse, one has 30 people in there. It really depends on who is marrying you, and how big the room is. You can ask those things when you call the judge to ask him/her to marry you! =)
Hay there, i have been with my hubby (technically still my fiancee but i call him my hubby) for almost 2 years and we have been engaged for a year. We wanted to get married before we even found out that i was pregnant (got engaged october of 07'). But considering the situation we are in we cant get married till maybe march or later (hoping sooner then later). But we pretty much decided that we are going to get married in the court house. And to be honest i am not too sad about not having a big wedding. I didnt have a big one on my first wedding (BIG MISTAKE marrying him). And i would love to have a cute little beach wedding, but we are still waiting on word to know if we can even get married yet. But i dont see anything wrong with a court house wedding. I mean you can still buy a nice white dress and can have him look all handsome and have a small bouquet, and then have a nice party after. That is what i plan on doing. Yeah it might suck not having my family and friends there but honestly my family hates my hubby so i can care less about that. And i just wanna marry him. I dont care how or where just as long as i get to become his wife. So i think that if you try and make the best of a court house wedding everything will be fine.
I only read Joys response when I wrote my response, ashie and mam must have been typing.
Mam18 Thank you for responding your story makes me feel better about it.
How may people can be there?
Mam18 Thank you for responding your story makes me feel better about it.
How may people can be there?
That's what I am afraid of, I'm sure it is my hormones but it makes me want to cry thinking of having a court house wedding. I don't ever want to regret not doing what I really want.
Joe asked my mom if we could size her ring from her marriage to my dad until he gets me one and she said yes of course. Having a ring will make me feel a lot better at least.
Joe asked my mom if we could size her ring from her marriage to my dad until he gets me one and she said yes of course. Having a ring will make me feel a lot better at least.
Hi GRose. I've been together with my husband for about 7 years now and just this past february we got married. I've always had dreams of a wedding like the one your talking about but we're not in a good financial situation either, so we decided to get married by a judge only (for now). I worried that i was going to be depressed as well but once the moment came i was just so exited to FINALLY get married that i did not even think about what i wanted to do later on (if that makes sence). Our wedding took place at our house with our two little girls and two of our best friends (my parents could not attend). Our little onces gave us the rings and helped record the wedding. After the wedding we went out for dinner. I felt in top of the wrold, i was MARRIED. All i could think about was finnaly being his wife. Now we're expencting our 3rd child and are planning a wedding with all our family members and at the same time do the baptism our our little one during the summer. I would say GO for it! you will not regreat it, you're planning a big wedding for later on anyway. I don't regreat getting married by the court house first, it was just another oportunity to tell my husband that i love him and will have another one in june:) I hope my experience helps your decition. Take care.
I know ton's of people who have gotten married at the courthouse. And waited till they had enough money to do a potlluck wedding, or a big wedding. I don't see anything wrong with it.
You can invite people, since you will need 2 witnesses. Someone can take pictures. and then go out to a lunch, dinner or somewhere to have fun afterwards!
You can invite people, since you will need 2 witnesses. Someone can take pictures. and then go out to a lunch, dinner or somewhere to have fun afterwards!
My sister got married at one but unfortunately regretted not having the gown and party, flowers, friends & family, etc. But if you guys are dead-set on having a party in the summer, then do it. Don't put it off! My sister has been married 10 years now and has said, "Maybe one day we'll renew our vows or something...".
You could always just make this summer a wedding, instead of a party, if you're going to have a gown anyway. Just have him get you a ring to wear if you don't have one already. I think it will go beautifully for you either way.
You could always just make this summer a wedding, instead of a party, if you're going to have a gown anyway. Just have him get you a ring to wear if you don't have one already. I think it will go beautifully for you either way.
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