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653496 tn?1238313609

OT-So Frustrated with the in-law!

Do they ever just drive you insane?! They can be nice to you all they want, but the one time they flick your switch, it's almost impossible to turn it off !!! Here's what's going on... My mother-in-law is usually helpful with my situations. And while I don't talk to her about everything...The one thing I do need some comfort in would be this whole TTC and weight problem. (find other post if you don't know what's going on) Dh only talks so much to me because I don't want to stress him out with how I almost feel like I'm more on the complaining side rather than dealing with it.. I don't blame him either. Women get very touchy and 'sometimes' it's good to talk to other women since it's easier to understand eachother. So she and I go out for lunch since she was off work and I didn't have anything else to do.. She openly asks.. "How is the TTC going?" I answered her.. "The doctor said I need to lose some weight before I continue TTC but if I do get pregnant I will be watched very closely but will need to control what I eat etc etc" I told her we are under a bit of a watch for pregnancy at the moment...Because we were just being a married couple and went everyday for a week unprotected while I was ovulating. So to be safe, I'll take a hpt if AF decides she doesn't want to come for a visit. She basically SCREAMS at me while were in there having lunch. People start looking at us and I get red in the face!! I can't believe she would raise her voice like that! She starts saying well why don't you just eat a salad and not a chicken sandwhich! She actually came out and said to me..(while pointing her finger in my face) "You do what that doctors tells you to do because if you just fu** around and get even bigger and cause yourself so you can't have children at all, or for a long long time, it will ruin my son and I will not forgive you for that because I want grandkids!"

Can you imagine me sitting there taking that infront of people?!! My mouth dropped and I was stunned! I cried when I got home. So instead of her staying positive and telling me I'll get through it and I'll lose the weight and have the family I've been needing... She does a 180!! What is wrong with that woman!!!! She's never been like this. Don't get me wrong, we have had our disagreements but it's never been like this. I want children just as much as she wants grandchildren and I am trying my hardest to work through this....

I feel SO alone and I regret even talking to her about it. At first when dh & I got married she said just because your married doesn't mean it's okay to jump the gun and have kids. Now, it's I WANT I WANT I WANT!!
Well I'm sorry, but it's not what she wants.. It's when dh & I decide to have children, when we are ready and how it all plays out.. Granted we are ready, but technically we can't try until I lose the weight. I've already lost some, so I'm still on track... Just ahh.. I want to cry more because I was so embarassed. The sandwhich I had was a grilled chicken sandwhich and I didn't even eat the bread. I feel hopelessly confused and SO hurt. I told Dh about it and he said that was really b i t * h y of her. He wanted her to apologize but she doesn't even want to talk to me right now. I didn't even do anything to her.. I don't know what her problem is but she hurt me a lot.

Am I wrong to ignore her until I get an apology? Ughh. I'm sorry this is so long.. I'm just upset. I guess I should stick to you girls when it comes to advice. There's no judgement and pointing fingers. Just peaceful advice. -sigh-
8 Responses
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561451 tn?1257476350
OMG!!!  I would have stood up and knocked her @ss on the ground!  Of course, this coming from someone (me) who doesn't even get along with her MIL, lol and my kids don't even have a grandma.  LOL  Anyways...  I sure and H E L L wouldn't talk to her or go near her until she apologizes.  

Your right, it's not when she wants it she gets it, (sounds like a little kid, 2 year old?)  And it's when you two are ready, and it happens.  I probably would have hashed out some serious harsh words with her and threatened her that she is walking a fine line of not seeing grandkids when they come.  Of course, something like that naturally comes out of my mouth when people deserve it.  (heat of the moment sort of this)

Gosh, I am sorry you have to deal with that!  BUT congrats on the 12 lbs!  A chicken sandwhich is actually more healthy then a salad.  Because of the proteins!  =)  Don't let someone tell you that you shouldn't eat this or that, yadda yadda yadda!  Hang in there!  The weight will peel off and you'll get prego, and be super happy!  =)
Helpful - 0
653496 tn?1238313609
Thank you laura.. if/when I do become pregnant, I don't plan to tell her until IM ready.. getting pregnant doesn't you have to tell anyone and everyone the second you find out.
So, she will have her time to wait.. That's about all I can say to her. lol.
Maybe she is getting close to menopause or something! I have no idea why she acted as she did.. Just hope it NEVER happens again, or I WILL end all communication from her to me.
Helpful - 0
653496 tn?1238313609
Thanks... I plan to ignore her until I get a reasonable apology.. and not unless it's sincere.
Helpful - 0
304970 tn?1331425994
Kudos on the 12 pounds!~ That is AWESOME!! Weight loss is such a hard and sometimes embarrassing battle! I can totally empathize..

As far as your MIL.. I literally would have got up and exited the building.. I would NOT take that type of belittlement. She should be ashamed of herself and she CERTAINLY owes you an apology.. There is a way to be supportive and nice and she wasn't being either. That doesn't even classify as ANY Type of constructive criticism.. She was flat out being verbally abusive...I think you are well justified to avoid and even refuse to talk to her until she apologizes. That was awful and I am sorry she did that to you. I can imagine your humiliation! I am glad your dh sees she was in the worng and is being supportive. Hopefully he has a LONG time with his Mother..

Hang in and keep up the good work!!
Helpful - 0
589762 tn?1330207135
That was just HORRIBLE of her and just plain WRONG.... and especially in a public place... OH HELL NO...... Your right to ignore her until you get an apology.... she was totally in the wrong in this and you deserve for her to say sorry...... I know that must have been very hurtful..... WELL you just keep up the good work and dont let her discourage you, your on the right track! 12 lbs is good!
Helpful - 0
653496 tn?1238313609
They said for my height I should be around 125-130ish... I'm almost 200... :(
but even still I've lost 12 pounds now so I know I'm capable of losing the weight. It just takes a while.. and I need to be motivated.. For how she was screaming at me, I just want to eat and eat... I think she should support me too if she wants grandchildren that much..

I mean it makes sense to support someone when their in need if they get something out of it too.. It's like she was a different person. Which is why I don't understand it...
Helpful - 0
400885 tn?1297698918
Well how over weight are you??? She shouldn't have been like that at all. Too bad if she wants grandkids you'll get pregnant in your own time. Losing weight doesn't just happen it take time and hard to do she should support you unstead of screaming at you.
Helpful - 0
653496 tn?1238313609
I wanted to believe me. But, I don't hit people. Even when they push me over my limit. I've came a few times to punching someone... I have anger issues that I've been working through my entire life, so hitting her would have made me fall of the wagon. Once I start, I won't finish!!

I would say I would never talk to her again, but it's hard to avoid her. She's always around or always trying to go out to eat with the family. And it being the holidays, there's no avoiding her right now. I will however ignore her until I get an apology. She did and said things that were uncalled for.
Helpful - 0

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