Am I over reacting....??? More hubby issues...

[BTS1022]

Okay I have no idea how to explain this lol.....Im mad to an extent...well im furious, but not over exactly what happened if that makes any sence lol. Anyways here it goes.....

I don't have any issues with hubby looking at porn. But I have always asked him not to look at it on my computer, because it causes a lot of viruses and my PC is worth about 1700 bucks and I do not have any type of warranty on it, and I dont feel like having it ruined over boobs lol.

Well after I got out of my bath today, I found porn on my PC. He was using a free music downloading program to look for nude pics.....I asked him about it....and he of course says * i dont know how it got there* which is a bold a$$ lie. I can surf, download, and do anything I want on my PC and I NEVER EVER have stuff just mysteriously pop up on my computer.

I am furious that he lied to me. He knows im okay with the porn in general....buy why lie? I paid big bucks for this PC and it is my life line, and I had to uninstall the downloading program off of it because I can't trust him with my computer. Im mad that he lied....and im mad that he went behind my back and used my computer after I asked him not to. I used the downloading program to get free music for my Ipod....and it seems as if I cant have anything to that nature on my PC because he does this cr ap.

I have yet to say anything to him about it, and I know that if I did id probably flip out(hormones). How in the world do I deal with this. Do I just let it slide? Do I talk to him? Do I even have a right to get mad?

OMG im just furious! Is it really that big of a deal for me to be so mad I could deck him in the face about?

Im even more pissed that he diciplines our children for lying.....and he goes and does it to me!!!!

I know if I try and talk to him about it he will deny it until he is blue in the face. Why can't men just fess up? Why can't they understand that they get in less trouble when they tell the truth, then if they lie?

Okay I need to go do something constructive lol My poor keyboard is being punished to death.

Any input?

[Mumita]

I'm glad you guys got to work it out, I don't think that it should have been something to get so mad about.  Yes it would **** me off too that my husband would lie to me about something so stupid, and guess what, he's done it before not lie but hide something and I over reacted instead of talk to him about it.  But we lovev these big dumb animals, what can I say?
Anyway, BTS, you will give birth soon one way or the other and hopefully you'll start feeling a little bit better with not having the big ol' belly and probably feel better emotionally too.

[AnitaRFrith]

put a password on the pc.  if he can't respect your wishes then he dose not need to use it.

[BTS1022]

Well first off I did want to say that I am 100% okay with the porn. It does however bother me a bit now because I feel like a fat hippo lol, but in general it doesn't bother me, in fact I look at his new playboy magazines before he does lmao.

We did talk, and I can see where he is coming from on his side. He said he downloaded the stuff on my PC because he knew it would catch my attention, and if he got my attention it would be easier to talk to me. Im not a very approachable person to anyone in real life because I keep a wall up at all times. Anywho, he said he did this to get my attention, because he knew I would want to talk about what was done, and then he could tell me what was going on.

He lied, because he seen how pissed I got and didnt expect me to get that mad, and decided to lie about it to avoid the conversation until I had cooled off a bit, which I dont blame him.

He has been feeling neglected these past few months, not sexually, but emotionally and physically. We don't cuddle or show affection to each other hardly ever, mainly because I don't want it, and I do push him away when he does try to be affectionate. We don't even have conversations anymore to be honest. We used to be able to sit and just talk about everything and nothing for hours, and now I do just blow him off, and not pay any attention to him.

So I guess men just don't know how to come forward and say * we need to talk* because some men don't know how to. That and I know if he would have tried to approach me any other way, instead of trying to get my attention...I would have ignored it and blew it off.

So we are okay now, I know I did over react a bit, but it wasn't just me....I blame the raging hormones.

But I think im going to actually go sit on the couch with hubby and cuddle, It hurts me that he feels like I dont love him. I do love him, I just feel gross when he touches me.

[illsurvive]

he lied because truth will hurt u. its not a big deal that he uses ur computer. that wasnt big big lie. if u r really worried but antivirus software or u can get free online. and change password of ur pc............so realx ok.

[victoria83]

get a fluffy pillow. grab both sides with your unclenched hand and inhale a big breath and put your face into your pillow and SCREAM AHHHHHHH!!!!!! ok ok now, if you have tryed and tryed to talk to him about this then i have no clue. i just kinda know what you are goin threw. my husband is the same way. and about the crazyest stuff. and we talk and talk and it never helps. i just figured i would suggest the pillow screaming to you,

[waiting21]

Are you really  okay with the porn?  It sounds like it bothers you, and if it does, your hubby should respect that, especailly since you might be more sensitive being pregnant!

Men lie sometimes because they want to make us happy, and if they think that what they did will make us unhappy, they might lie.  I have caught mine in a couple of white lies (because we are way smarter than them!) and his response has been, I didn't want to make you mad and I since it wasn't a big deal, I didn't tell you.  So now we have the lying issue!  It is frustrating.

And also, maybe there is some truth to what he is saying?  Sometimes if you are on a site like a message board or music site, the virus people can install spyware and unwanted things on the computer.  I am not a tech person at all, but I think that it can happen.

Maybe wait until you cool down a bit and can logically talk through with him exactly what is bothering you and what you would like him to do about it.  I have discovered that my husband responds better when I can just tell him exactly what I want and he doesn't have to guess!

Good luck!