If you could choose the gender of your baby, would you?

[mamaofonetrying42]

My husband and I had a very small conversation about this over the weekend, and because we aren’t having anymore babies anytime soon, we didn’t go in depth over it.
He said that he would not choose the baby gender, saying it wasn’t in god’s plan to have us “pick”. Which I totally agree with BUT…….Having 3 boys and truly wanting a girl, I don’t know. I believe I would do it if I could. Would You?

[sabella_doub]

I'm torn between my answer YES because it would be amazing to see how science has come with making a couple complete their family the way they want but also NO because why change something that is so perfect to began with

[vmvnpv]

Not my first one but I would want to pick my second one because I want a boy and a girl.

[Ashelen]

Oh sweetie I don't feel attacked! if it came off that I was angry I was just having a super stressful day and took it out on you. I didn't get more than about 45 minutes of sleep last night due to evacuating from some tornadoes and we made an offer on a house last night and it was our last chance to get it (which we did, by the way!) so I'm just one bundle of stress and I wasn't angry at all but reading back, it certainly came of that way. I apologize! I hope we can put it behind us :-).

[chantal21]

Joy, there are so many times I wish there was a like button on here! ;)

[amandamae1126]

Ashleen - I didn't mean to upset you. I just didn't understand where you were coming from. But I think I understand what you are trying to say a bit more - you're coming more from the side of messing with God's plan when it comes to gender and that possibily causing gender confusion, as opposed to the actual scientific parts of making babies. I can totally understand that!

And I think most comments on here agreed with you that we wouldn't choose the gender of the baby. I hope I didn't make you feel like I was attacking you or anything! :(

[JoyRenee]

Ahhh... wish I could LIKE comments here like on Facebook because I would've liked Chantal's comment! "I just rest in that." AMEN!

[chantal21]

I voted no. I could never see choosing a gender and then what do you do with the left over babies? I would never be able to give them away, but I would never be able to just toss them either. Life starts at conception. I believe God gives us what we need, when we need it. I just rest in that. :)

[JoyRenee]

They can donate the embryos, yes! But most people think to themselves "I don't want someone else being implanted with my husband's and my babies" so instead of offering the gift of life they destroy them. That's not always the case of course but it's the same thing with abortion. When offered the chance to give baby up for adoption I've heard people say, "I could NOT give my baby up for adoption so I'm aborting". It just boggles my mind! They can destroy them but not give them to a loving, desperate couple? Anyway that's a WHOLE other topic!

[Ashelen]

Yes I'm familiar with genetics, and experts theorize - but that's all they are. theories. Just not something I would want to mess around with if it was my kid, but I understand the desire to and I wouldn't bash on someone who chose to - I just couldn't. if you're religious look at it this way - gender selection before implantation could be interfering with God's plan - if you were SUPPOSED to be a girl and he was going to have an X sperm meet in utero but you interrupt it with a Y sperm - see what I mean?

Anyway I'm doing arguing I'm not the only one who didn't believe in this, not sure why people keep bringing my name up!

[amandamae1126]

Ashleen - all eggs are predispositioned to be girls. All eggs carry only the X chromosome. It is only the sperm that can have a predisposition to be a boy or girl by supplying the remaining X or Y chromosome. So, I'm not sure what you mean by that.

In regard to gender confusion, I think most experts theorize that occurs from envornmental factors or possible genetic mutations. I am not sure how gender selection before implantation could effect gender confusion.

smjmekg - Sperm carry only one chromosome - an X or a Y. Well, X chromosomes are longer than Y chromosomes. I believe that is how they tell the gender of a sperm.

[smjmekg]

Ivy, exactly!  

I saw where a couple people, or maybe it was just one, I forgot already LOL, said that they look at the sperm to determine sex? The show I was watching had them fertilize the eggs and wait for them to mature enough to be tested to see what the sex was...how can they tell just by looking at the sperm, it's not like they have a penis or vagina that early, lol. I thought they all looked the same?

[Ashelen]

Good point Sabrina - I never really thought about what they did with the unacceptable embryos...that's so horrible. Maybe if they donated them? but it doesn't really work that way. Idk...how sad!

[smjmekg]

I most definitely would NOT do it. I've seen a show on tv where three mothers wanted to do it, and I was disgusted honestly. The mothers had the eggs removed, they were fertilized they waited to see if any were girls, and the rest they told the drs to "discard". I'm 100% pro life, and those were babies growing...they got thrown out because a test said they'd be male. It's morally, and ethically wrong to me, and I personally believe God gives you what you get, it's not up to us to decide. Just like you get pregnant when you're supposed to, you have the babies you're supposed to have. IDK, I wouldn't do it even if I'd had five boys and wanted a girl more than anything. I thankfully had a boy and a girl already, but I'd be fine with whatever I got as long as he/she was healthy. I accept what I'm being given, no matter what. Every child is a gift, and I couldn't see myself tossing away a life because it wasn't the sex I wanted.

[mamaof4410]

I wouldn't do it. Science only goes so far. And doing this is going to far. There are somethings that should not be tampered with and this is one of them. I'm all for IVF and IUI but choosing to do these things just to have the boy or girl you want is kinda selfish. Again this is my opinion. But it's weird to do anyway.

[Ashelen]

No I recognize that Joy but I still gender identity is more than just which sperm fertilizes the egg...yes that chooses physical parts but who's to say that there isn't another component to it? not worth the risk to me. I know they don't change the parts, but what if those people who have gender identity issues do because the egg was predisposed to a gender but it was fertilized by a sperm of the opposite sex...idk. just not worth it. we don't understand gender identity enough to make me comfortable with it. we understand the PHYSICAL aspect...but it's never that simple.

anyway, lol, that's what I meant not that they change the parts :-)

[anwright]

I say yes I really wanted a girl and am having a boy. If I could have made it a girl I would have.

[JoyRenee]

Ashelen, they don't actually change the fetus' parts. They'd take eggs from the woman's ovaries and sperm from the man and make embryos in a petri dish and gender select that way. They'd only implant the ones that were the gender choice of the parents.

I would NOT do this for both religious and moral/ethical reasons.

[LosingMyMindInGA]

I voted no simply becuase I don't believe it's natural BUT I've never been in that situation so I can't say with 100% certainty what I would do.  

I think I would far prefer to let the gender be determined naturally.  It's worked pretty well for me, I've had 3 boys (1 was stillborn) and 3 girls!!!!

[Manderella2]

I wouldnt why make something more complicated then needed to be, seems like so much work just to have the sex you want. But if thats your cup of tea then it is what it is..

[alaysha]

I don't think there would be anything wrong with the baby. They already do this medical procedure for women who have trouble conceiving. The only difference is that they put the sperm under a microscope and try to see which ones are males and which ones are females. To me its like saying dont give your children medicine because immunizations can hurt children and why risk it and that if God was meant for them to get sick and die then that is his will. Please. It was also not natural or God's will for women to get breast implants but millions of people do that too.

[cnj76]

I'm happy with whatever I am blessed with. Many people picture the "perfect family" as having one of both. However, I feel that being blessed at all is a grand thing. I'd have to say I wouldn't pick the gender of my baby. Their may be physical/emotional problems one may not be prepared to understand or know how to deal with. I like to take each day as it comes and whatever God decides to give me, I'll hang on to that :)

[angela418]

I think it'd be a cool idea, but I just couldn't personally do it - religious views aside.  I think I like the mystery of seeing what it's gonna be. :-)  

[Rellyrell]

@Alaysha, I never thought about that hearing it now makes me wanna look into that farther. But I would be a little afraid of the little chance of still having another boy:-(.
When I talk to people who have girls they always tell me I'm not missing anything...

[Michele, Katy, TX]

Toni, it has been forever girl, but I agree w/ your DH but totally understand how you feel too.  I don't think my husband makes boys, personally, but that's okay.  For me, it just wasn't meant to be.  I do have an older son from a previous marriage.  I would love whatever God gives me.  But again, I understand how you feel and would love to see you have a girl :)  IDK...I guess for me, it just feels unnatural.