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Stressfull Babysitting-UPDATE
Ok so anyone that read my post about me babysitting my sister's 2 children while she worked knows what was going on. If you didnt heres to sum it up...I watch her 2 yr old and her 3yr old while she works. She only pays me 130$ a month. I dont have a problem with the pay whatsoever, but her children do not behave at all. I have a 2 yr old son that stays home with me while my older two go to school. Well i have been having pains in my belly and im not sure if it was stress or just my preganacy. They pick fights with my son, they scream and cry all day and they have no respect at all for what i say. My sister does not discipline them at all. I do not like spanking, i take something away as punishment or put them in time out. I just dont think spanking gets me anywhere. But shes very different with the way we parent our children. ANYWAY.. i text her Thursday night to see if she could bring some sncks for the kids because i gave them all of my kids sncks for after school and i dont go to the grocery store until Saturdays but she completely blew up at me and text back " this has got to stop because for what im paying you there should be no problem with you supplying the food!" i was soooooo mad! she pays me exactly 130$ a month...that is one hundred and thirty dollars a month not per week per month. She is off for spring break all next week so im debating wether its even woth keeping them any more. But if i dont her lazy boyfriend will use it as an excuse to quit his job because they wont have a sitter because she cant afford "real" daycare costs. I just dont know what to do.
And see my 2 year old is suffering because yes im going to be honest when i wasnt getting pregnant as quickly as i wanted to i kinda held to the scenario " he could be my last baby!" so now he still clings to me but im his mommy and i love it. He literally fights for my attention. If im sitting down he will bring a blanket (which he call a 'blank-blank') and he will climb on me and just sit there. And by the time my other two get home from school im soooo worn out from being a referee all day i snap at them for the littlest things. and i catch myself but its unfair that it even has to get to that point. Our entire family is going camping next weekend and she asked if she could carpool with us since we have a yukon with the 3rd seat so she didnt have to waste her gas! its little things like that that upset me. But the comments she made to me yesterday about me having the extra money to take my kids places that really pissed me off. My DH works every saturday for overtime hours to have that extra money that he brings home, we throw it in the bank and save it. We dont go buy dinner from a restaurant every night because i don t want to cook, no i waddle my little butt in there and cook. I just dont get how she thinks that the way shes acting is ok. Her boyfriend is already looking for a different job because he doesnt "like" this one. Hey its better than nothing. But i just want this to end and i told her i need the money by next friday and if she doesnt bring it monday morning i will make sure my alarm doesnt go off! and ill park my cars at my mother in laws and walk home so she thinks im gone! Im pregnant and over tired so im done if she doesnt come through.
You are absolutely right. I did it being nice to help her out because i know she doesnt have much money. My husband works and pays all of our bill so i just do it for the couple extra dollars. But it does upset me that she complains about heving to help me out with food for them. I do have food but its the fact of i buy certain snacks for my kids and im not getting anything in return for helping her except the chump change shes paying me and she doesnt understand that. I had asked her last night when she was going to pay me for march and she got really mad and said that she is struggling to pay her bills and buy food and im bugging her about money. But if she is struggling im sorry but that is not my fault, i have been there and my husband and i did it on our own. we have our own home that we just had built and we each have our own car. She wants us to give her money instead of her boyforiend keeping a job. But everytime its some other reason why he cant keep a job and i didnt want them not having a babysitter to be one of them. But i told her she has until next week to pay me or she needs to find other means of childcare. And i had commented to her friday afternoon that i was going to call and see how much the zoo was and she threw that in my face to that i have money to take my kids places and she cant ever tkae hers any where. Im sorry but i have come a long way from where i was before with my finances. My husband and i always have extra money to do things with our children because we manage our money responsibly. We never ever fight about money. I manage all of the bills and we have fun with whats left. They dont and yes i feel bad that they are struggling but when you put yourself in that situation its her own fault and she said after i have the baby shes going to put them in real daycare i want to see how shes going to do that when shes already complaing about paying me and its only been 5 months.
I watch my 15 month old nephew just one day a week. My sister is a teacher and she comes to the house, drops him off and takes my kids to school with her. I don't charge her as she has done numerous favors for me with my three children since they were born. I don't mind having him for the day. I understand my situation is completely different from yours, but I just wanted to add that she packs a lunch and multiple snacks for him every time!! I have never had to use any food from my house to feed him. She does the same for the regular day care she brings him to the rest of the week. That is crazy that you are expected to supply everything for them and to be quite honest, it's pretty selfish of your sister.
I know it costs my sister well over $100 a week for her daycare, and that's only four days a week, and she supplies the food. Maybe you should show your sister what the going rates are for good daycare now!
I know it costs my sister well over $100 a week for her daycare, and that's only four days a week, and she supplies the food. Maybe you should show your sister what the going rates are for good daycare now!
I run a home childcare for the the female Marines who are coming off Maternity leave and don't want to pay for the childcare on base(Yeesh- 180/wk) I let them have the first month free, but in that I month, I record how long the children stay(daily hours) and how many days that they actually show up in that month, then come the first of the month, I charge them their month rating. I start between 65-80/ wk most of them end up providing their own diapers, wipies and other supplies like food and formula.
like another lady on here said. Make a list of what the kids go through. then she will have to see it on paper. keep your receipts. it's a lot of paper, but it is worth it in the end.
like another lady on here said. Make a list of what the kids go through. then she will have to see it on paper. keep your receipts. it's a lot of paper, but it is worth it in the end.
how many days a week?
if it's 5 days a week, you are making about $6/day. Less than $1/hour total, less than $.50 per kid.
You are probably spending more than you are making.
People pay others more than that to walk their dogs.
if it's 5 days a week, you are making about $6/day. Less than $1/hour total, less than $.50 per kid.
You are probably spending more than you are making.
People pay others more than that to walk their dogs.
You need to write out all the costs. You need to have a plan and a contract with her. This needs to include food costs for EVERY single day you watch her children. When you write it all out maybe she'll see that $130 a month is NOT cutting it.
Honestly I'd tell her it isn't working out anymore.
Honestly I'd tell her it isn't working out anymore.
Exactly my point she doesnt see that real day care is way more expensive. And its like im putting more energy than im getting out of it. my husband gets upset whenever i try to talk to him about it. he said he knew she was going to end up doing that to me. he says its not worth it,but he understands shes my sister. Her boyfriends aunt was going to charge her 35$ per day and she came to me instead. But its getting to the point where im just fed up with her attitude about the whole situation.
I agree with Alaysha. $130 is a ridiculous pay amount. Honestly she should be paying you that a week. And about the food.. she should supply the food for her own kids.
Personally I'd charge her more. My sister does daycare And used to watch my oldest who was 2 at the time and I paid her $20 a day or $100 a week. $130 is practically nothing for watching 2 children all month. I know you are trying to help her but if she's going to be ungrateful than let her see how easy she has it with you by sending her elsewhere until she can see it as a favor.
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and they also started taking advantage of me...one night she told me "you don't have to watch her tomorrow. my husband isn't working so he'll take her, and if he ends up having to work my friend is gonna watch her"...so I'm thrilled I get a day to spend in my jammies with MY kids..and she shows up the next morning, pushes the door open, and drops her kid off. I'm standing there stupidly (was awoken by her knocking on my door) and I'm like "oh...ok".....but essentially she just knew I would be there so she took advantage of the fact and ditched her kid with me, I guess her friend told her she wouldn't watch her....but the problem is, I had NO obligation to even be HOME that day since she told me I wasn't supposed to watch her, and if she had had the decency to CALL and let me know that she was coming I would've happily agreed to watch her...
gah, sorry, I could go on and on. Point is..I eventually put a stop to it. I was only supposed to do it for a few months, and when were getting to the end and she still hadn't found a replacement I started gently urging her....and after the time passed whenI was supposed to no longer watch her daughter she STILL wasn't urging, so I gave her 2 weeks and then that was it. I left my house for 3 days after I stopped watching her daughter so if she showed up to ditch her on me, I wouldn't be there. sounds harsh, but the situation was awful...and she was a close family friend.
But you can't let yourself be taken advantage of, and people WILL. especially when it comes to their kids because they convince themselves that since you love and adore their children, watching them must be worth whatever trouble and whatever lack of money is involved...but that's just not true. either tell her you need more money, or tell her you will give her a little time to find a replacement sitter but that your pregnancy is becoming too difficult to manage with 3 little ones to watch, which I believe is perfectly reasonable.
Sorry I know I wrote you a little novel but I have been exactly where you are, and I wasn't even pregnant! I wouldn't put up with it any longer. you can love your family, and you can love those kids, but you don't have to be taken advantage of or treated unfairly for the sake of love. stand up for yourself and either get yourself fairly compensated...or tell her you just can't do it anymore, give her a reasonable time to find a replacement, and move on with your life. you have done your best to accommodate her and help her out, but you have your own life to worry about. good luck!