There is a stranger in my stomach.

[Mreeah]

Call me heartless if youd like.

*back tracking*
I was 8 weeks when i thought i had a miscarriage
This made me really scared and depressed because it made me realize how easily these things can happen. My OB then told her secratary to call me to say it was a craneal hemmorhage & that i needed another ultrasound.
This didnt help because being a ftm  there was a chance id be taking care of a child with special needs. So then i was even more depressed & thinking seriously about abortion.
By the time i get to my next ob appt. She corrected her secratary saying it was just a subchoronic hematoma which had been resolved and there was a high chance id
just resume a normal pregnancy.

Anyway now im 26 weeks and im finding it really hard to build a relationship with my baby. I dont talk or read or put on music. I
feel bad about it but i just cant bring myself to do it.

My question is to women who have miscarried  & are pregnant again or had a threatened miscarriage How have you gotten over the fear?

[Knucks10]

Honestly you dont ever get over the fear. I've had two miscarriages and I think after 20 weeks I start to feel better and have a better bond. But it's baby steps. You'll get the bond soon and especially whenthe baby comes!

[proudFTMTeTe]

i never had a miscarriage but i can tell u the worrying doesnt stop even after being born it just decreases a lil but thats part of being a great mom we worry!! goodluck mama :)

[pumpkin_buns]

I'm on my third pregnancy -- the first two miscarriages were difficult but after some grieving I was easily able to bond with this baby:) I think what helps is that I keep a journal and write letters to her and call her by name.
I find it difficult to read stories and play music-- so instead I massage my belly! Sounds weird,  but it's supposed to help the baby get used to feeling loved and touched. Regardless,  it has helped me bond with her!
Another weird thing I do is tell my husband any "news" about our day-- like whether she had hiccups,  was really active,  and sometimes talk about her sleep patterns. I actually started doing that because I thought it might help him bond with her-- I think it has helped us both! I feel like I know her better when I do that and now i catch him trying to feel her move while I'm sleeping; )

[Mreeah]

Thanks everyone! I wish you all luck

[lisagmarie]

Its beyond difficult
i had two miscarriages last year and I thought having a baby was hopeless for me.. when I realized I was pregnant this time I was afraid to be happy afraid to be excited we told no one we kept it to ourselves and waited for the first ultra sound.. then again.. we were quiet never talking about it never acting like anything was different I was even afraid to start taking vitamins.. like even that would trigger a miscarriage.. you kind of lose your mind you know.. then my 11 week appointment came and I had finally started taking my vitamins.. like 2weeks before when the doctor began my ultrasound I kept my eyes shut I was so scared the baby wouldnt be the right measurement or he wouldnt find a heartbeat then he played it and I opened my eyes to see the cutest little teddy bear thing laying right there inside of me.. I still am very cautious we dont talk aboutvthe baby much but the fear never hoes away for me honestly.. I dont think ill stop being afraid until this little baby inside of me is probably 10 years old.. ill always be afraid of them being taken by fate.. I mean who am I to decide I get to be a mother.. its obviously not in my hands so I just have to try not to love my baby cautiously.. because my broken heart shouldn't be taken out on them i just have to try to love them with all my heart even if it might get broken just like love for a partner it is scary.. but the day you get to hold that precious baby in your arms the whole universe will change for you fearvis never an excuse and although i know how hard it may be.. whatever is inside of you is nothing you cant handle.. your strong enough for whatever is in your path

[j199214]

I think once that baby comes out you feel different. You had a miscarriage its hard to get over it. It was hard for me. I was really upset and didn't want to get heart broken again. But I got pregnant again. And let me tell you I wasn't that excited but after feeling her move and kick she is everything to me. And when I saw her little face at my 33 week ultra sound I fell even more in love. I think once you give birth you will feel different and love your baby. Good luck and keep your head up. Don't let anyone tell you that you're a bad person.

[allisonn23]

Sorry my phone posted to quick, but goood luck and you will get through this. Theres always a light at the end of a tunnel :) you'll be an amazing mommy.

[allisonn23]

Aww im sorry you went through that, that is scary. And i understand you feeling scared to bond with your baby. but dont worry to much anymore your past the hardest part, when you hold the baby for the first time all your fears will leave and you'll fall in love. I find it hard to bond with this pregnancy i felt like my 2yearold was gonna hate me for having another baby but im now 24weeks along and my 2yearold loves her baby sister, im just now bonding with this baby.

[Baby_C22]

My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage (blighted ovum) didn't find out till I was 12 weeks.
Now pregnant again, 12 weeks tomorrow, I'm just ancious to pass this week.
2 weeks ago i went to the ER for the SCH, it's really small , the doctors there and ultrasound techs said its a very common thing and it's nothing to worry about .
90% of women carry full term with a healthy baby and that I'm in that 90% .
Think happy. Be thankful things are going well with your baby.
I know the sub chorionic thing must of been scary but , u have to be thankful for being able to keep carrying your baby.
I love this baby more than anyone can ever know due to the fact of my miscarriage and then the SCH diagnose. Made me also realize how the little things  we sometimes take for granted can really change your life .

[autumnsexpecting]

I had a miscarriage in September then conceived in late dec. Although there has been the fear that I would miscarry it hasnt stopped me from bonding with my little precious baby <3 im now 21 weeks and 3 days

[traviesa3112]

It's hard to have another baby after a miscarriage.  And I mean emotionally.  My first loss was 2 years ago and now I'm pregnant again. 30 weeks. And let me tell you the 1st months for me was nothing but worry again and stress. But it will pass. If the doctor said your pregnancy will b normal then it's more than likely it will. Just remain positive and stay healthy and take your vitamins. As for bonding. Even though it's hard,  don't b afraid. Play a song or two once in a while. Or touch your tummy whenever possible. You don't have to b all about your baby 24/7 to b perfect momma. As long as you know you love your baby things will b fine. Just take days one at a time and stay positive (:

[Cheyenne__19]

You may feel that way now because you had such a horrible scare & when I was about 7 months pregnant, they told me that my sons ultrasound came back & it looked like he was going to have Down syndrome , it was so difficult because I was already so far along & your first child, you don't want to have with special needs ...  But after more tests & all that crap, I found out that my baby boy was absolutely perfect.  
Once you meet your son or daughter for the first time , things will be different .. I can promise you that.
Hope this helped.

[Brooklynnbby]

Honestly I don't think you ever really do it always weighs in the back of your mind all you can do is try and think positive and that nothings going to happen

[mamaMcAnulty]

I had a miscarriage and this whole pregnancy I have worried and im now 35+6 and sometimes I still worry if my baby doesnt move when I want her to.. miscarriage is always a fear for someone no matter what but ur not a bad person for being scared