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Things things unanswered-My loss
Since my loss in December I have become obsessed with research and better understanding as to why things go unanswered. I meet with my doctor tomorrow and these things below are what I am hoping to find comfort in understanding. Any comments?
What is your understanding based off of my records, including my radiology reports, the events that lead to my loss?
Considering my blood clots and bleeding:
1st: My primary care physician in January 09 ran blood work to see if there was an underlying blood disorder that generally causes blood clots in pregnant women leading to miscarriages. Which simple searches via the internet for bleeding and blood clots during a pregnancy all reveal the same result…blood disorders. My blood tests came back abnormal and I was told to follow up with my ob/gyn, I choose to do so with my new doctor. She has since the 17th of this month decided to run additional tests.
2nd: Why were all these test done after my loss and not when they originally discovered the clots?
3rd: Dr. G confirmed in my 1st appointment with her that what had been discovered at the office were indeed blood clots. She explained that they are common in pregnancies and that there are different outcomes. To clarify based off of her explanations, the clots could continue to hollow out which would result in my continuous bleeding. Or the clots may continue to grow ‘develop’ through out my pregnancy.
It was made perfectly clear that the clotting issue had entirely nothing to due with my pregnancy and that I can consider the baby in its own world unharmed. Going forward I would be monitored as the clots either grew or hollowed out.
At my second appointment it was confirmed that my additional bleeding in between my 1st and 2nd visit was the result of my clots hollowing out and they were getting smaller.
My last visit with her concluded that the clot I had passed on Monday, the 1st of December 2008 was the last of the clotting issue. At that appointment I was told of my fluid levels being low and an additional visit was set shortly before Christmas for an anatomy scan.
This day was the same night I had lost fluid in my sleep, called and spoke with you and then followed up in the office the next morning.
Questions that arise at this point:
1. Didn’t she or couldn’t she have seen that my cervix was slightly dilated or this only could have been noticed the morning I meet with you. (December 10th 2008) because that was obviously the night I lost whatever fluid was remaining. Again, how dilated was I the morning I saw you?
2. Why do my fluid levels appear low in my sonogram performed on the 2nd of December, the same day I passed that clot? Looking at the sonogram there was absolutely a clear issue based off of the amount of ‘black’ surrounding the baby. This understanding stems from being told during many ultrasounds that the 'black' around the baby is the amniotic fluid. I would like the radiologist reports explained to me to state that my fluid levels were ‘normal’ throughout my pregnancy. I attached my sonogram with this post.
4th: My follow up in this office with Joanne, after receiving reports from Dr. G had confirmed everything that was explained to me above. Wouldn’t a doctor review this information from the specialist? It is obvious that a midwife doesn’t have the knowledge or credentials to review such information. If my report was reviewed by one of the doctors in the office, I would like to know which one reviewed it and what were the findings?
Fluid Levels:
Considering the clotting issue and my initial visit regarding my bleeding-at what point were my fluid levels observed and/or measured? Or why were they not?
During regular examinations throughout a pregnancy when and why are fluids measured?
One of my concerns: The first day I came into the office and had the first sign of bleeding, there was a large amount of bloody water when Lee had inserted the vaginal probe. Why couldn’t this have been considered a reason to check my fluid?
What is your understanding based off of my records, including my radiology reports, the events that lead to my loss?
Considering my blood clots and bleeding:
1st: My primary care physician in January 09 ran blood work to see if there was an underlying blood disorder that generally causes blood clots in pregnant women leading to miscarriages. Which simple searches via the internet for bleeding and blood clots during a pregnancy all reveal the same result…blood disorders. My blood tests came back abnormal and I was told to follow up with my ob/gyn, I choose to do so with my new doctor. She has since the 17th of this month decided to run additional tests.
2nd: Why were all these test done after my loss and not when they originally discovered the clots?
3rd: Dr. G confirmed in my 1st appointment with her that what had been discovered at the office were indeed blood clots. She explained that they are common in pregnancies and that there are different outcomes. To clarify based off of her explanations, the clots could continue to hollow out which would result in my continuous bleeding. Or the clots may continue to grow ‘develop’ through out my pregnancy.
It was made perfectly clear that the clotting issue had entirely nothing to due with my pregnancy and that I can consider the baby in its own world unharmed. Going forward I would be monitored as the clots either grew or hollowed out.
At my second appointment it was confirmed that my additional bleeding in between my 1st and 2nd visit was the result of my clots hollowing out and they were getting smaller.
My last visit with her concluded that the clot I had passed on Monday, the 1st of December 2008 was the last of the clotting issue. At that appointment I was told of my fluid levels being low and an additional visit was set shortly before Christmas for an anatomy scan.
This day was the same night I had lost fluid in my sleep, called and spoke with you and then followed up in the office the next morning.
Questions that arise at this point:
1. Didn’t she or couldn’t she have seen that my cervix was slightly dilated or this only could have been noticed the morning I meet with you. (December 10th 2008) because that was obviously the night I lost whatever fluid was remaining. Again, how dilated was I the morning I saw you?
2. Why do my fluid levels appear low in my sonogram performed on the 2nd of December, the same day I passed that clot? Looking at the sonogram there was absolutely a clear issue based off of the amount of ‘black’ surrounding the baby. This understanding stems from being told during many ultrasounds that the 'black' around the baby is the amniotic fluid. I would like the radiologist reports explained to me to state that my fluid levels were ‘normal’ throughout my pregnancy. I attached my sonogram with this post.
4th: My follow up in this office with Joanne, after receiving reports from Dr. G had confirmed everything that was explained to me above. Wouldn’t a doctor review this information from the specialist? It is obvious that a midwife doesn’t have the knowledge or credentials to review such information. If my report was reviewed by one of the doctors in the office, I would like to know which one reviewed it and what were the findings?
Fluid Levels:
Considering the clotting issue and my initial visit regarding my bleeding-at what point were my fluid levels observed and/or measured? Or why were they not?
During regular examinations throughout a pregnancy when and why are fluids measured?
One of my concerns: The first day I came into the office and had the first sign of bleeding, there was a large amount of bloody water when Lee had inserted the vaginal probe. Why couldn’t this have been considered a reason to check my fluid?
Good Morning! I am very eager to get to see this doctor today. I want to thank you ALL for your feedback. I have since January actually found a new doctor that I hope I can start new with and move forward with a positive attitude.
On December the 13th I buried my daughter next to my father who I lost at 11 years ago this June. I know she is well taken care of!
I know how much there was to read and I really appreciate that you all took the time to understand me. I have lately felt very alone, like nobody gets me and understands my motive with all of this.
All my love and prayers are with you all!
J
On December the 13th I buried my daughter next to my father who I lost at 11 years ago this June. I know she is well taken care of!
I know how much there was to read and I really appreciate that you all took the time to understand me. I have lately felt very alone, like nobody gets me and understands my motive with all of this.
All my love and prayers are with you all!
J
I am so sorry for your loss! I have to agree with the ladies above! Good Luck and I hope you find a little peace! God Bless
I sincerely hope that you feel better and kind find peace within yourself. I agree that you definitely need to find a new doctor. They should have been able to tell that your fluid was low or, unless it was just a freak thing that happened from one minute to the next, but a lot of times when you lose fluid like that there is nothing they can do for you. It is an awful thing because at that point you are very attached to that baby... I recommend that you have a memorial service for your little girl. It might help you put your mind and your heart at ease. I am so sorry for your loss. Please keep us informed of how you are doing!
I over heard a doctor talking to a patient the other day who had low fluid. The patient asked why her fluid was under 5 one day and the next it was 10. The doctor said it was because the baby urinated just before the us on the second day and hadnt urinated yet on the first day. Now, I understand that is probably not your case because she was about 36 or so weeks. It is very apparenty by your us picture that there is no fluid in there. My first piece of advice is to find a new doctor. I would sit down with the new doc and discuss all of this and hope that makes you feel better.
I do not know what measures you are already taking to help your fragile state. I am saying this with the best of intentions. It WILL make you feel better to talk to a doctor about this and possibly get some meds. If you are already on them, I would go back and see if they should be changed. It sounds like you could really benefit from the proper course of treatment. Not due to loosing a baby, but for other reasons, I had very bad anxiety and obsessions came with it. I put up with this for almost two years. Finally i went to the doc adn within 2 weeks I felt much better. I am not saying you shouldnt be sad, because you should be, but I think you could feel better than you do. Please do not take offense to this or rule it out.
I hope you feel better soon!
I do not know what measures you are already taking to help your fragile state. I am saying this with the best of intentions. It WILL make you feel better to talk to a doctor about this and possibly get some meds. If you are already on them, I would go back and see if they should be changed. It sounds like you could really benefit from the proper course of treatment. Not due to loosing a baby, but for other reasons, I had very bad anxiety and obsessions came with it. I put up with this for almost two years. Finally i went to the doc adn within 2 weeks I felt much better. I am not saying you shouldnt be sad, because you should be, but I think you could feel better than you do. Please do not take offense to this or rule it out.
I hope you feel better soon!
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I hope that one day you can find peace with this all. I noticed in your sonogram, that there was NO fluid around the baby. I have three children, and everytime I would pay close attention to my sonograms, and the things the dr.s would say....I knew what the amniotic fluid was. They should have realized, especially in that sonogram that there was no fluid.
The only thing I can say at this point is, change DOCTORS!!!. The next time you become pregnant, go see another doctor.
I wish you and your husband all the best!!!
The only thing I can say at this point is, change DOCTORS!!!. The next time you become pregnant, go see another doctor.
I wish you and your husband all the best!!!
First off, Im incredibly sorry that this happened to you and I sincerely hope you get some answers tomorrow that give you some peace.
I would also suggest you ask what measures (including some of the above points you will discuss) will be taken in future pregnancies based on this history. I also recommend you print out this list of concerns/questions so you dont forget anything.
Best of luck to you.
I would also suggest you ask what measures (including some of the above points you will discuss) will be taken in future pregnancies based on this history. I also recommend you print out this list of concerns/questions so you dont forget anything.
Best of luck to you.
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