feeling bad....

[krizmart]

Well i just woke up from a dream that i cant seem to get off of my mind. It was about my really close friend/neighbor before i moved, i had a dream that he was trying to reach out to me because i left without sayimg bye, well this guy was a porn star and we've had sexual relations when i was about 17 before me and my now fiance got together,and i cannot deny the HUGE sexual.attraction that we had even though we were both always drunk.or a little tipsy when anything did happen, but i also use to stay the night at his house and we use to just vibe cus were both really into.music and have alot of similarities,but i just dont understand why i just had this dream.about him,i feel like im reminiscing or like i regret not saying bye before i left. Now this bothers me because the man that im supose to marry laying right next to.me and im over here thinking about other men, ive always only had guy friends and my man didnt like that, but as mature as i am this is the first time im admitting that i dont kmow if im ready to settle down with one man for the rest of my life,now mind you im definitely not a hoe and i do love my fiance with all my heart even though i complain about him so much lately and we have serious issues sonetimes but he is the love of my life its just that im 18 and i dont wanna regret marrying him and be thinking about all of my ex's or flings or other guys on general cus this isnt the first time it happens and its always with a different guy. I just dont know what to dooo. I feel so bad that im even admitting this shitt cus id never thought id feel this way, i guess i was in denial.   /:

[GordonBaby]

Your welcome mama...

[krizmart]

Thanks for the advice girl ive been so confused with my feelings lately i dont be knowing what to do anymore. I started looking for a couple of them today but with your advice o realized its just not worth it especially if i love him like i.say i do. Thank you muchoooo ("

[GordonBaby]

Its totally normal to have the "what ifs"...Give it some time mama, if your truly not happy then you have decisions to make. But honestly, if you have a good man that treats you right and wants to have a family and does everything he has to do, then maybe your just over thinking. I too had strange dreams about different men but in the beginning of my pregnancy. But I also know first hand what its like to be unhappy or unsatisfied and long and yearn for someone from my past. Its a B****! I lost all patience and when it came down to it, I stopped caring about everything (which I think is normal when that spark/trust is gone). Before ya know it...BOOM your single and the one that you let get away is no where to be found anyway :) I actually had a rough day yesterday because I did leave my guy (long story), but I kinda reached out to that "one who I let get away", and we talked for a long time, and I realized that hes not what I really want either, even though I know I could "have" him if I wanted to....pregnant and all. Sure its nice to touch base from time to time, but people change and grow out of certain situations. I would hate to say "hey! reach out to your friend and see whats going on!" because that could open a can of worms that nobody wants to deal with in the long run. Just follow your heart with logic and stray away from the emotion of it. Emotions get us gals in tight corners. I know that's easier said than done.