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New Mom's...Are We Welcome Here Too?
Someone has recently made me really think about this question, I want to know everyone's honest opinions here...are new moms welcome on the pregnancy forum? Even though its technically for pregnant and TTC women, i thought until recently, that we (as new moms...or not so new moms for that matter) were valued for our experience and advice we can give having been through the journey. I thought we could tell TTC women about when we got our BFP's and how we felt at the time or that we could tell scared pregnant women what an amino feels like or what the glucose test is all about or especially, about labor and how we dealt with it. I also thought that women enjoyed hearing about our journeys as much as i like following their pregnancies...even though im not pregnant myself anymore. The reason why im even posting this is because i care deeply for this forum and i would never want to make any woman feel uncomfortable by being here. So, do we need to stay on the mothering infants forum or Maternal and Child? I've never felt unwelcome on this forum until now and i honestly never thought that maybe my being here could cause some pregnant and/ or TTC women to feel uncomfortable. I apologize if it does and i will (sadly) take my advice and experiences and exclamations of exciting things my son has learned...to another forum. Im so so sorry again if i have made anyone feel uncomfortable.
Smjmekg - OF COURSE everyone is welcomed...I hope my post did not imply otherwise! In fact, I wish I would have found this forum before I concieved. I simply didn't click on it because I WASN'T pregnant at the time. If I would have just looked, I would have realized that it could have been of good use to me then. But I do want to point out that there are other forums out there for women ttc, those that have had a miscarriage, those trying natural or ivf/iui, those over a certain age, or whatever - there are forums for nearly every pre/post natal situation possible! Not that someone would have to just stick to those forums, but it might be a nice supplemental forum for some ladies that haven't discovered them yet. I know I belong to 4 or 5 different ttc/fertility/pregnancy forums and they are all great! :)
Sunkissed and Clysta - thanks for the info. It's not stuffI worry about a lot, but I just like being prepared. Although I have three younger sisters (two that I practically raised on my own) and have worked in day cares for years, I still plan on taking some parenting classes. I just feel that I can't be over informed! And there is so much stuff you learn just from talking to people or reading other posts. For example, I didn't know until a few months ago that some women pee or poop while giving birth (someone on a forum here asked about it). Now, that doesn't freak me out, but if I didn't know about it, I might freak out or be embarrassed when it happened. Just knowing it's possible makes me more comfortable about it.
And I am very aware that once my baby finally arrives, nothing else will matter. I think about that more than anything! But in the mean time, I have nothing to do but "worry" about everything that will happen. Maybe when I can start feeling the baby move I can focus more on that joy than all these silly worries! LOL!
And thanks to all the ladies that have ever answered a question of mine - your advice is greatly appreciated! :)
Sunkissed and Clysta - thanks for the info. It's not stuffI worry about a lot, but I just like being prepared. Although I have three younger sisters (two that I practically raised on my own) and have worked in day cares for years, I still plan on taking some parenting classes. I just feel that I can't be over informed! And there is so much stuff you learn just from talking to people or reading other posts. For example, I didn't know until a few months ago that some women pee or poop while giving birth (someone on a forum here asked about it). Now, that doesn't freak me out, but if I didn't know about it, I might freak out or be embarrassed when it happened. Just knowing it's possible makes me more comfortable about it.
And I am very aware that once my baby finally arrives, nothing else will matter. I think about that more than anything! But in the mean time, I have nothing to do but "worry" about everything that will happen. Maybe when I can start feeling the baby move I can focus more on that joy than all these silly worries! LOL!
And thanks to all the ladies that have ever answered a question of mine - your advice is greatly appreciated! :)
I missed the post, but from what I can gather, a random person made a utterly stupid comment. Saying only pregnant women are allowed on this forum is ridiculous! How do we learn? Just like saying teachers are not welcome in a classroom. That was plain stupid. I bet the poster didn't think it through before making such a comment. That being said, she's prolly changed her profile name and come on as a different person (as she claimed she's done in the past).
If you are still ttc, there's a whole lot of information that can improve your chances here, so please don't let some random person make you loose any knowledge you might gain from being on this forum. Seriously, is such a person worth getting your bfp and holding your baby??
Please, new moms, old moms, retired moms, don't go away from this forum, we need you. You make this community tick!
Ashelen, I understand how you feel, but think how many people you have given some sort of advice to, how much friends you have made, if you leave, this person would have been successful in her lame attempt. Do not give her the satisfaction! You are treasured and loved. xx
If you are still ttc, there's a whole lot of information that can improve your chances here, so please don't let some random person make you loose any knowledge you might gain from being on this forum. Seriously, is such a person worth getting your bfp and holding your baby??
Please, new moms, old moms, retired moms, don't go away from this forum, we need you. You make this community tick!
Ashelen, I understand how you feel, but think how many people you have given some sort of advice to, how much friends you have made, if you leave, this person would have been successful in her lame attempt. Do not give her the satisfaction! You are treasured and loved. xx
I say STAY x1000 I personally love new mommies and already mommies opinions! :D DON'T LEAVE. Lol!
ashelen, you better not leave...I always love reading your posts and all the answers you provide...Girl, dont let someone bother you, WE all want you here...And I think the replies in this post speaks volume that pregnant, not pregnant, pp, ttc we are all welcome here
I don't look at a single post as bothersome. I think everything is welcome here. SOOO many people have been here for quite a while and it's almost like a family. I EXPECT to hear updates and vents...I've even posted questions about Elijah on here, and that has nothing to do with pregnancy at all.
Honestly I don't think a single person should have to worry about whether or not they are welcome, and whether or not it is ok for them to post here. Just take a look at topics on a the first few pages...not all are pregnancy related, and they aren't ignored.
I really hope no one decides to leave or feels uncomfortable or unwanted. I'm only going to be pregnant for (hopefully) no more than 8 weeks 5 days, but I'll be D@MNED if I don't come back after she's born...I might be on a little less since I'll have two babies to take care of, BUT that won't stop me from staying.
Taken directly from JoyRenee's "Welcome" thumbnail at the top of the forum...
"Did you just recently take a pregnancy test and find out you're pregnant or are you close to delivery? Maybe you're trying to conceive your own little bundle of joy and need support and tips! Perhaps you simply need some help! No matter how or why you found our forum, allow us to welcome you!!!"
"The Pregnancy 18-34 community is comprised of women from all different ages, stages of pregnancy or non-pregnancy, ethnicities, countries, beliefs, and you may even find some concerned fathers from time-to-time." (Thank you Clysta for pointing this part out.)
There's proof for all of us that we are ALL WELCOME. I feel so bad about what was said, it was embarrassing to me to hear someone say that "only pregnant women should be allowed" (not verbatim, but same thing). I for one love that there are more than just pregnant women here, I get experience from new moms, I got advice and support from other TTCers, it's an all around helpful forum for everyone. I hope we can all move on from this, put it behind us, eventually forget it ever happened, and be a stronger group because of it. I know I don't want a single one of any of you wonderful, awesome, helpful ladies here to leave, well minus one and she already did. :) (For those who are wondering I mean the same one who made the awful statements.)
Honestly I don't think a single person should have to worry about whether or not they are welcome, and whether or not it is ok for them to post here. Just take a look at topics on a the first few pages...not all are pregnancy related, and they aren't ignored.
I really hope no one decides to leave or feels uncomfortable or unwanted. I'm only going to be pregnant for (hopefully) no more than 8 weeks 5 days, but I'll be D@MNED if I don't come back after she's born...I might be on a little less since I'll have two babies to take care of, BUT that won't stop me from staying.
Taken directly from JoyRenee's "Welcome" thumbnail at the top of the forum...
"Did you just recently take a pregnancy test and find out you're pregnant or are you close to delivery? Maybe you're trying to conceive your own little bundle of joy and need support and tips! Perhaps you simply need some help! No matter how or why you found our forum, allow us to welcome you!!!"
"The Pregnancy 18-34 community is comprised of women from all different ages, stages of pregnancy or non-pregnancy, ethnicities, countries, beliefs, and you may even find some concerned fathers from time-to-time." (Thank you Clysta for pointing this part out.)
There's proof for all of us that we are ALL WELCOME. I feel so bad about what was said, it was embarrassing to me to hear someone say that "only pregnant women should be allowed" (not verbatim, but same thing). I for one love that there are more than just pregnant women here, I get experience from new moms, I got advice and support from other TTCers, it's an all around helpful forum for everyone. I hope we can all move on from this, put it behind us, eventually forget it ever happened, and be a stronger group because of it. I know I don't want a single one of any of you wonderful, awesome, helpful ladies here to leave, well minus one and she already did. :) (For those who are wondering I mean the same one who made the awful statements.)
im really glad everyone feels like we should stay!! i feel weird sometimes posting stuff that has nothing to do with pregnancy...cause i do...ALL the time. and i wonder if it bothers anyone. i try to answer people's questions too to make it fair and not just take over the pregnancy forum ya know? but i can't get on as much as i want and sometimes only have time to post and answer people's responses to my own. and for that i am sorry, all of you who are pregnant or TTC!! i hope yall don't feel like newborn baby / what have you questions bombard your questions that really are on topic. i tend to post things about ariana because this post gets the most traffic from experienced mothers.
You all have really good points and I definitely appreciate the kind words..I guess I'm just feeling kind of down. I'm not used to negativity in my life so it's hard not to let it affect me. I'm just gonna give the whole situation some time to blow over so I'm not reacting emotionally, and we'll just see how the cards land. You girls are pretty amazing, I must say!
I know everyone pretty much agrees on this topic. I just wanted to say that I appreciate all of the moms here who aren't pregnant and all of the ladies TTC. I first found this site because I miscarried and tested positive on a preg test a month later. The support and experience from other women who have miscarried was so helpful to my healing process. I'm not usually on this forum, but I am occasionally and will still come here after I have my baby.
gokuangel- I pray for the ladies TTC and like to know what specifically to pray about or hear about answered prayers. I am always so happy to read a post by a woman TTC who finally gets her BFP. It's so heartwarming! I also think this is a great place because I'm sure it can feel very lonely and it's good for all of us, with whatever we're going through, to know we're not alone.
Saying women who are not pregnant don't deserve to be on a Preg Forum is like saying (please forgive the bad analogy) that cancer survivors don't belong in a Cancer Support Forum. How would anyone get answers to their questions if not from someone who's been there before? I also find it SO encouraging to ask questions and to be reassured by women who have been there..
gokuangel- I pray for the ladies TTC and like to know what specifically to pray about or hear about answered prayers. I am always so happy to read a post by a woman TTC who finally gets her BFP. It's so heartwarming! I also think this is a great place because I'm sure it can feel very lonely and it's good for all of us, with whatever we're going through, to know we're not alone.
Saying women who are not pregnant don't deserve to be on a Preg Forum is like saying (please forgive the bad analogy) that cancer survivors don't belong in a Cancer Support Forum. How would anyone get answers to their questions if not from someone who's been there before? I also find it SO encouraging to ask questions and to be reassured by women who have been there..
I agree Ivy. I've seen other things on another forum, but it doesn't matter. You're a big help to this forum. We just need to ignore the negativity and support each other. Don't let what one person says get to you. It's rude (and I completely missed the post since it was deleted. I only saw the inital post) but in the end isn't worth a second thought.
Dont even say you have nothing to offer!!! i have been following your story since i joined this site and ive been rooting for you the whole time!!! You will get a BFP someday...you WILL. i know ur a little over being positive but i wanted you to know that i value your friendship and support! even if you dont have any "experience" to offer...you have an opinion dont you?! I love hearing your opinion on things goku! I'm sure that post was hurtful to you as well and im sorry you had to hear about it. hopefully the original poster gets a clue! as always, i wish you the best and i continue to pray for your BFP!!
Im with spiket (obviously bestie!) but ummm ...seriously...you have always and continue to give me great advice...i always turn to you when im freaking out about anything...you always know just what to say. This forum wouldnt be the same without my Ashelen...pretty sure i wouldnt even stay around if you didnt. Obviously the rest of us arent a big fan of what the other chick said either...YOU are the one we want...the one thats here talking to us now...the active member. Besides that negative post i havent seen anything else from the original poster and frankly i dont want to. A lot of us were hurt by that post...and you were targeted and that was unfair of her to call you out by name! Your cyber nephew is throwing a total fit right now so i gotta finish up here. i will write more later but i think you know exactly how i felt about thisw whole situation...u deserve to be here and are welcome....you have a lot of support here Ivy. dont let little miss poopy pants get you down. STAY
You give really good advice. Not sure that I saw the controversial exchange??? But, in any case... I value your opinion and think you give very concise information with a respectful tone. I wish I could say that for everyone!!! HA! Don't let it get you down.
I'm glad that you're staying Manma...the post in question I guess was deleted by the mods, so hopefully everyone else can move past it and not feel unwelcome. I'm just really upset that I was targeted....I've always tried to be kind and supportive on this forum and I truly feel like I should leave. I don't like causing drama (which sounds ironic since I'm being so dramatic right now...sorry, unavoidable)....but I was so hurt and so shocked and everyone just believed all the crap and I can't believe that anyone who knows me could think I could POSSIBLY be rude...it's just not in my nature. So idk...new mother or not, I not only feel unwelcome but unwanted. That's just not fair.
i havent read the posts all of em but if any1 im the one who feels unwelcome by that post last nite! i been here 3 yrs and im STILL TTC so i dont feel i have advice or anything to offer! At least as getting your BFP and being mothers you have something to offer I have nothing but no BFP and disppoinments! I feel you guys have suceeded so if any1 you guys have the most to offer! Advice and what not!
I agree. :) this post made me more confidant about staying, and I intend to do just that. This forum was my one of my forms of sanity and comfort while I was pregnant, and I'm sure it will be as I raise my daughter.
I agree guys, it was hurtful but it truly doesnt matter anymore. This post shows exactly how many wonderful caring people belong to this site! Anyone who wants to spread negativity/hurtful comments can just try and shake me up,,,after this i wont let anyone make me feel unwelcome...i'd like to see them try because im not going ANYWHERE!!
I agree. I'm not sure why this person feels that way about this forum. I'm also not sure how all of this originally got started, but I caught the tail end and was offended as well. I joined this site while I was ttc and was shocked that someone would say that only pregnant women were allowed on this forum. I also don't take kindly to something else that was said on another forum. I have personally found the women on this forum to be helpful and supportive during ttc and pregnancy. If I felt otherwise I would have left a long time ago. In the end I suppose it doesn't really matter, because I know I have a great support system here.
I thought the same thing. I have a feeling I know the main reason it was made, and to whom. But I saw something else that was said that I found to be extremely hurtful as well, and it seemed to be a generalized thing. Oh well. It doesn't really matter.
thats why i was so upset she straight up said "people who arent pregnant dont belong in a pregnancy forum" it was so hurtful. Especially since she also said she has been a member for years under different names....i just dont get if she's been a member for so long why she would think that? It was awful to hear and i was beginning to think she resented all of us being here.
I came on here when Dh and I were ttc...over 2 years ago. Our boys are now 2 years old and we are NOT ttc and honestly...I just love it here. You ladies are a wealth of wisdom baby wise, family wise, man wise and life wise. I've learned so much and look up to so many of you I'd be really upset if I was told to leave just because I'm not TTC.
I did not see the post about the comment but I myself wondered was I to leave after H was born. I actually did for a day,haha
But then I though: What as the one thing I LOVED hearing about when I was pregnant. Others stories of thier pregnacies and births. I in fact wanted to hear about them eery where I went! Which I still love to hear now. SO why would I leave.
I loved being pregnant and I remember my first time, second, third, fourth and fifth.
We are all woman who obviously love to atlk about this stuff so I say lets just keep doing it.
But then I though: What as the one thing I LOVED hearing about when I was pregnant. Others stories of thier pregnacies and births. I in fact wanted to hear about them eery where I went! Which I still love to hear now. SO why would I leave.
I loved being pregnant and I remember my first time, second, third, fourth and fifth.
We are all woman who obviously love to atlk about this stuff so I say lets just keep doing it.
oh wow, I must have missed that comment..But, I am glad to see that there are people out there who want us and enjoy our advice!! I never even thought about this being a pregnancy or ttc forum honestly..I have been on this one for a little over a year, and I love coming on here and asking questions to you ladies..I will admit there are times that I get a little discouraged because I will ask something and it will not get answered or responded to. But, I chalk it up to there being so many questions on here, it either A)gets overlooked or B) someone is not sure the answer or what to say...So, needless to say, I dont think I am going anywhere, I love this forum and the ladies in it..LOL Okay enough of my rambling
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