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o/t--ranting on my mother
sooo generally everyone's mom gets on their nerves, right? well, i'm going to my last dr appt this month with her old ob/gyn when i take my siblings home, and then switching to a local dr, b/c of the convenience to me.....well now she's like(again), well, i can't be there when the baby's born, i can't do this, i can't do that, i don't have a car(which is true, BUT me and DF volunteered my car, since i won't be driving for a couple days anyways, and we have 2 cars...)
and now that we have 3 bedrooms, we have room for her and her DF, we've offered my car, even to come GET HER, etc so she can be here at least for the birth, but she has every single excuse as to why she can't make it.....well, i'm changine anyways, when my appt's get weekly, it's gonna cost me about 400/mo in gas alone to get to where her ob is, esp when i have to go to her house to get her, etc.....
NOW, i picked up my siblings last wednesday.....bro is almost 10, sister is almost 14.....mom and sis have been having issues, and me and DF figured we'd bring sis 1st for a week by herself, give her some time alone, and such.....and then go get brother for the other 2 weeks they'd be here ( i take them for 3 to 4 weeks), and we'd do all the "together" stuff then.....well mom makes every excuse on HER end as to why that won't work.....bro can't stay alone (mom works max 6 hrs a day, and her df's mom would soooo keep my brother!), and then, saturday my sister tells us we can't go to schilterrbahn, cos she's on her period.....so i asked ok wtf not? and my sister says mom won't let me swim on my period(and my mom also says she doesnt but she does), so i ask, ok, do you use tampons? and she practically hollered NO, that my mom says no and that she can't wear them b/c of her age or some****(i was 12 when mom MADE me wear tampons so she didn't have to buy pads AND tampons!), so i went and bought some tampax lites, cos i was like, ok we're not going places she can't go just b/c she's on period.....so i think she's on her 3rd one, and they're not bothering her, and i read the paper to her so she knew the signs of TSS, and all that, showed her the pix on how to "do it", and other stuff.....THEN, she mentions that the little boyshorts i bought her at christmas(that were $6 apiece!), my mom made her throw out, b/c 1 of the pairs had "loops" on one side, so that one side was kind of bare? but me and df(we were sitting and talking about other stuff when she said it), are both like "wait wtf?" what you put ON your BUTT is your private deal, not what someone tells you yes and no too.....it's not like she could have stuffed $1's in them! and apparently my mom hates my ability to MAKE my sister buy stuff that ISNT black, and my mom can't (explained below), so she(mom) made sure to let me know not to bother buying the kids ANY clothes(even though she sent them with ONE week of clothes for a MONTH!).....both kids are into naruto, and we're trying to wean my sister off, and she likes to wear alot of black, but when i take her shopping, rather than just flat out telling her NO, i just try to find whatever she found in black, in a different color! and it WORKS!.....but my mom will just holler at her in the store, and buy what SHE wants(yes it's her money, but she will buy my sister clothes that don't fit right, or are so cheap, in 2months my sister needs a whole new wardrobe).....idk, i guess my mom is driving me crazy! she also told my sister to ALWAYS keep *something* on her(maxi's etc), because it was absolutely GROSS to talk about your period/cramps/symptoms with other girls.....she has pretty much made out to my sister that her period is this OMG TOTALLY UNSPEAKABLE THING that happens to everyone, but that it's disgusting.....my sister has no idea how her period works, and when it went out of wack(bleeding 6 weeks straight), my sisters dr put her on a low dose b/c pill to fix it, but only for 3 months....well now my mom won't put her back on the **** and sisters period is outta wack AGAIN.....and she says if she keeps her on birthcontrol she'll want to run off and have sex....OMFG, i'd rather have her on the b/c pill either way, b/c where she lives, it takes ALOT not to have already lost your *V*, and she hasn't.....better safe than sorry, oh and when i asked what it is that's throwing her period off, the "dr says it's normal".....um, noooo.....my sister has had her period for 2 years, it should have somewhat regulated, not just all of a freakin sudden, gone to bleeding for 6 weeks, off for 2 weeks bleed some more etc....oh and the dr gave my sister b/c pills WITHOUT a pelvic exam or ANYTHING that might show something actually wrong! and my mom's like, she doesn't need a pap she's not sexually active!!! aghhhhhhhhhhhh.....ok i'm done, there's more, but i've gotten most of it off my chest lol.....
and now that we have 3 bedrooms, we have room for her and her DF, we've offered my car, even to come GET HER, etc so she can be here at least for the birth, but she has every single excuse as to why she can't make it.....well, i'm changine anyways, when my appt's get weekly, it's gonna cost me about 400/mo in gas alone to get to where her ob is, esp when i have to go to her house to get her, etc.....
NOW, i picked up my siblings last wednesday.....bro is almost 10, sister is almost 14.....mom and sis have been having issues, and me and DF figured we'd bring sis 1st for a week by herself, give her some time alone, and such.....and then go get brother for the other 2 weeks they'd be here ( i take them for 3 to 4 weeks), and we'd do all the "together" stuff then.....well mom makes every excuse on HER end as to why that won't work.....bro can't stay alone (mom works max 6 hrs a day, and her df's mom would soooo keep my brother!), and then, saturday my sister tells us we can't go to schilterrbahn, cos she's on her period.....so i asked ok wtf not? and my sister says mom won't let me swim on my period(and my mom also says she doesnt but she does), so i ask, ok, do you use tampons? and she practically hollered NO, that my mom says no and that she can't wear them b/c of her age or some****(i was 12 when mom MADE me wear tampons so she didn't have to buy pads AND tampons!), so i went and bought some tampax lites, cos i was like, ok we're not going places she can't go just b/c she's on period.....so i think she's on her 3rd one, and they're not bothering her, and i read the paper to her so she knew the signs of TSS, and all that, showed her the pix on how to "do it", and other stuff.....THEN, she mentions that the little boyshorts i bought her at christmas(that were $6 apiece!), my mom made her throw out, b/c 1 of the pairs had "loops" on one side, so that one side was kind of bare? but me and df(we were sitting and talking about other stuff when she said it), are both like "wait wtf?" what you put ON your BUTT is your private deal, not what someone tells you yes and no too.....it's not like she could have stuffed $1's in them! and apparently my mom hates my ability to MAKE my sister buy stuff that ISNT black, and my mom can't (explained below), so she(mom) made sure to let me know not to bother buying the kids ANY clothes(even though she sent them with ONE week of clothes for a MONTH!).....both kids are into naruto, and we're trying to wean my sister off, and she likes to wear alot of black, but when i take her shopping, rather than just flat out telling her NO, i just try to find whatever she found in black, in a different color! and it WORKS!.....but my mom will just holler at her in the store, and buy what SHE wants(yes it's her money, but she will buy my sister clothes that don't fit right, or are so cheap, in 2months my sister needs a whole new wardrobe).....idk, i guess my mom is driving me crazy! she also told my sister to ALWAYS keep *something* on her(maxi's etc), because it was absolutely GROSS to talk about your period/cramps/symptoms with other girls.....she has pretty much made out to my sister that her period is this OMG TOTALLY UNSPEAKABLE THING that happens to everyone, but that it's disgusting.....my sister has no idea how her period works, and when it went out of wack(bleeding 6 weeks straight), my sisters dr put her on a low dose b/c pill to fix it, but only for 3 months....well now my mom won't put her back on the **** and sisters period is outta wack AGAIN.....and she says if she keeps her on birthcontrol she'll want to run off and have sex....OMFG, i'd rather have her on the b/c pill either way, b/c where she lives, it takes ALOT not to have already lost your *V*, and she hasn't.....better safe than sorry, oh and when i asked what it is that's throwing her period off, the "dr says it's normal".....um, noooo.....my sister has had her period for 2 years, it should have somewhat regulated, not just all of a freakin sudden, gone to bleeding for 6 weeks, off for 2 weeks bleed some more etc....oh and the dr gave my sister b/c pills WITHOUT a pelvic exam or ANYTHING that might show something actually wrong! and my mom's like, she doesn't need a pap she's not sexually active!!! aghhhhhhhhhhhh.....ok i'm done, there's more, but i've gotten most of it off my chest lol.....
I'm glad that your sister has you in her life someone with there head on straight willing to help!
I would NOT recommend the patch. Every time I would put one on it would start to burn and I would have to take it off. Now I guess there is a class action lawsuit against it.
I would NOT recommend the patch. Every time I would put one on it would start to burn and I would have to take it off. Now I guess there is a class action lawsuit against it.
Hey! I was looking for you the other day...
Good to hear you're b eing the responsible one and it's too bad your crazy mother can't be!
Good to hear you're b eing the responsible one and it's too bad your crazy mother can't be!
thanks soo much!!!
losingmymind & spade-----my mom is more of a *friend*! when i was 16-17, her ex(lil sis' father) molested me, and he's the reasoni lost my 1st child(he beat me with a military police duty belt, and forced my miscarriage), and when i tried to tell her then, she said he'd told her he was "helping" me(idk the details), and he beat the **** out of me alot.....when i finally told her @ 18 what happened for real, she acted like it was more of an affair, and still inclines so! and i tell EVERYONE she's my mother by birth, and friend by choice! and she knows what relationship we DO have is only b/c of my siblings!(i think she'd be the crazy ex-wife if i quit talking to her or made her mad, and keep me from my sibs!!!) NOT gonna happen!!!
martika-i agree with you on the SS thing, i'd rather be the *adult* in this, and do the *right* thing, rather than see something happen to my sister, that could have been prevented by several people!
everyone else-thanks for the comments & support! my sister says she will skip school if she has to, to make sure she's able to be here for her *1st & only* nephews birth! i raised her till she was 5(6 months before i left home), and she knows that and it's made us closer than we really should be due to the age diff! as for the b/c pills, it became knowledge last night, that after these months of my sis struggling with her periods, it's taken my mom nearly a YEAR to decide if she would let her get them, b/c of depression(which my mom told her was a def thing!), and death etc! my mom doesnt look @ the benes of things unless it's for her, or whatever.....oh and come to find out, even with ALL the bleeding my sister had(she was on low-dose pills for 2 months, and it "helped" apparently, but all mom would allow!).....anyways, apparently she didnt even have the dr do a sonogram or pelvic exam or ANYTHING! he pushed on her stomach(and according to sis it hurt badly!), and he said she's fine and prescribed 60 days supply of b/c! DD's mother suffers from PCOS, and so do half of my friends(no lie, it's contagious lol-no offense-!), and i know the things that can happen, and they did nothing to check for these things!!! NOTHING!!!!! so now, i'm thinking ok, the dr is an idiot also!
oh and on the tampon thing, we're doing it! and it's not bothering her, and she's being able to do more b/c no pad changes mid-fun or anything! and she gets to swim.....DH and i talked with her, and explained that if *I* decide to take her and get b/c for her periods and *possibility* of future sex, the responsibilities, and all the likeness of the pill.....i've thought of the patch, cos it'd be harder for her to "skip" by accident ya know?
losingmymind & spade-----my mom is more of a *friend*! when i was 16-17, her ex(lil sis' father) molested me, and he's the reasoni lost my 1st child(he beat me with a military police duty belt, and forced my miscarriage), and when i tried to tell her then, she said he'd told her he was "helping" me(idk the details), and he beat the **** out of me alot.....when i finally told her @ 18 what happened for real, she acted like it was more of an affair, and still inclines so! and i tell EVERYONE she's my mother by birth, and friend by choice! and she knows what relationship we DO have is only b/c of my siblings!(i think she'd be the crazy ex-wife if i quit talking to her or made her mad, and keep me from my sibs!!!) NOT gonna happen!!!
martika-i agree with you on the SS thing, i'd rather be the *adult* in this, and do the *right* thing, rather than see something happen to my sister, that could have been prevented by several people!
everyone else-thanks for the comments & support! my sister says she will skip school if she has to, to make sure she's able to be here for her *1st & only* nephews birth! i raised her till she was 5(6 months before i left home), and she knows that and it's made us closer than we really should be due to the age diff! as for the b/c pills, it became knowledge last night, that after these months of my sis struggling with her periods, it's taken my mom nearly a YEAR to decide if she would let her get them, b/c of depression(which my mom told her was a def thing!), and death etc! my mom doesnt look @ the benes of things unless it's for her, or whatever.....oh and come to find out, even with ALL the bleeding my sister had(she was on low-dose pills for 2 months, and it "helped" apparently, but all mom would allow!).....anyways, apparently she didnt even have the dr do a sonogram or pelvic exam or ANYTHING! he pushed on her stomach(and according to sis it hurt badly!), and he said she's fine and prescribed 60 days supply of b/c! DD's mother suffers from PCOS, and so do half of my friends(no lie, it's contagious lol-no offense-!), and i know the things that can happen, and they did nothing to check for these things!!! NOTHING!!!!! so now, i'm thinking ok, the dr is an idiot also!
oh and on the tampon thing, we're doing it! and it's not bothering her, and she's being able to do more b/c no pad changes mid-fun or anything! and she gets to swim.....DH and i talked with her, and explained that if *I* decide to take her and get b/c for her periods and *possibility* of future sex, the responsibilities, and all the likeness of the pill.....i've thought of the patch, cos it'd be harder for her to "skip" by accident ya know?
You poor thing, well it seems like you are trying your best to help your little sis out and that is good for her. Younger siblings will always look up to the older ones and it is good you are trying to help her.
On topic of BC, I knew plenty of girls on it when I entered highschool. Some for hormone imbalances and some for sex....but the ones on it for the first reason didnt go out and have sex because they were on it. I think it is hard as a parent to decide that, but she should have enough faith in your little sis not to go and do that....and if she does do it then to teach her about condoms as well. And then your mom wont have to worry about teen pregnancy!
On topic of BC, I knew plenty of girls on it when I entered highschool. Some for hormone imbalances and some for sex....but the ones on it for the first reason didnt go out and have sex because they were on it. I think it is hard as a parent to decide that, but she should have enough faith in your little sis not to go and do that....and if she does do it then to teach her about condoms as well. And then your mom wont have to worry about teen pregnancy!
WOW,
14 is young for the "idea" of BC, and maybe that's what your Mom is struggling with, but bleeding for 6 weeks is definitely not normal, and BC may help to regulate your lil sis..
About your Mom...
We all love them (our dear Mom's!!), but it does sound like your Mother has totally different ideas than you, so I say "kudos" to you for being a fantastic big sister, and maybe recommend counciling for your Mom? I am not trying to be mean, so please don't take offense, but the fact that you seem to try and cater to her has clearly given her the idea that this is what you will continue to do.. She will keep acting/behaving in this manner until someone lets her know it's unacceptable.. Sounds like she needs some sort of "intervention!" =)
GOOD LUCK! =)
14 is young for the "idea" of BC, and maybe that's what your Mom is struggling with, but bleeding for 6 weeks is definitely not normal, and BC may help to regulate your lil sis..
About your Mom...
We all love them (our dear Mom's!!), but it does sound like your Mother has totally different ideas than you, so I say "kudos" to you for being a fantastic big sister, and maybe recommend counciling for your Mom? I am not trying to be mean, so please don't take offense, but the fact that you seem to try and cater to her has clearly given her the idea that this is what you will continue to do.. She will keep acting/behaving in this manner until someone lets her know it's unacceptable.. Sounds like she needs some sort of "intervention!" =)
GOOD LUCK! =)
After reading your post, Im wondering WHY you want your mother at the birth? Its obvious she making excuses not to go even though you would bend over backwards to accommodate her - I would just let it go and have your hubby there for support.
Wow, Your sis is lucky she has you becuase your mom seems to be more harm than help. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise that she's making excuses about not being able to come for the birth. It may end up being more hassle and stress on you than it's worth.
I agree.. and I agree about the need for BC pills. I've already told my mom that if I even THINK my step sister is getting active or thinking of it I'll take her down and put her on the pill myself. The reason my mom didn't get me on BC til I was 17 was because she thought "it was a ticket to have sex"... well I had news for her and it p*ssed her off.
I was having sex for 6 months before I got on BC. (of course it was only 1 guy, and he's now my hubby.. but still)
So my mom has gotten all mad at me, but if you take in the extenuating circumstances. (like your sis) except my step sis was sexually molested by her older brother for 10 of her 14 years. It went all the way. So she's gonna either turn out hating men or being promiscuous.. as most girls do. and she won't accept counselling either.
So my mom is mad, but I'm gonna do what it takes to keep her protected. My brothers already know if they ever get a girlfriend they're thinking of sleeping with to come to me and I'll supply them with condoms and my husband will teach them the correct way to use them. (using a banana or something. lol)
I want to be the most responsible big sis I can, but that includes knowing that teens will do things no matter what they're parents say or try to stop them. I DID, so they can too, and I'd rather them be safe than pregnant or ending up getting someone pregnant or with an STD..... I hate parents sometimes.
(MY mil was in denial about us having sex even after we got married!.. til she walked in on us!)
I was having sex for 6 months before I got on BC. (of course it was only 1 guy, and he's now my hubby.. but still)
So my mom has gotten all mad at me, but if you take in the extenuating circumstances. (like your sis) except my step sis was sexually molested by her older brother for 10 of her 14 years. It went all the way. So she's gonna either turn out hating men or being promiscuous.. as most girls do. and she won't accept counselling either.
So my mom is mad, but I'm gonna do what it takes to keep her protected. My brothers already know if they ever get a girlfriend they're thinking of sleeping with to come to me and I'll supply them with condoms and my husband will teach them the correct way to use them. (using a banana or something. lol)
I want to be the most responsible big sis I can, but that includes knowing that teens will do things no matter what they're parents say or try to stop them. I DID, so they can too, and I'd rather them be safe than pregnant or ending up getting someone pregnant or with an STD..... I hate parents sometimes.
(MY mil was in denial about us having sex even after we got married!.. til she walked in on us!)
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