OT: What would you do?

[HeatherLynB]

Heres my situation. My older sister has 2 kids and is married to a military man. Well her husband is deployed and for the past few months shes been going out every weekend getting drunk and not coming home til around 6am. She leaves the kids with our parents or drops them off at my house. I have a toddler and a 3 month old so it can get a little hectic. Her kids are 2 & 7. I told her that she needs to stay home and spend time with her kids and she gets angry! I also found out that she likes a mutual friend of ours who is 5 years younger than her and he has a girlfriend! She flirts with him all the time and sometimes i get embarrassed for her! Do you think shes depressed or something? She also lost close to 50lbs and thinks shes hot sh!t now! I just feel bad for my nieces. Her 2 year old was sick last weekend and instead of staying home with her she left her with our parents and went and partied until 6am. My parents are getting fed up with her, but no one yells at her about it because she always manages to play the victim and turns things around so she looks innocent...ive seen her do it many times and have always called her on her BS, but when i confront her about it she turns around and tells everyone that i did something bad to her (she makes things up!) and that i talked bad about her to other people, which isnt true. But mainly...we dont want her to take the kids away and not let us see them because shes mad. She talks sh!t about me and our other sisters to eachother...as if the other isnt gonna tell! My other sister overheard her talking sh!t about her to our other sister and our brothers GF! I dont know what to do, ive told her several times that she doesnt need to be partying and leaving her kids. She does this EVERY WEEKEND! i want to tell my brother in law but i dont want to cause a rift in their marriage. I just cant wait for my brother in law to come home so she can stay her a** home! What would you do?

[bebe2011]

I agree with  LosingMyMindInGA, it is time to give her an ultamatum, either quit partying or i will let your husband know

[LosingMyMindInGA]

I have to agree wtih HEatherm4.  It could be depression from being away from her husband, it could be a new found sense of self-esteem after losing weight.  Some people don't know how to handle it.  She DOES need a reality check becuase she IS neglecting her children and putting her marriage in jeopardy.  I think you and your mother should begin to refuse to watch the kids for her to go party.  It would be different it if were for a job interview or something.  By allowing her to continue to drop her kids off at will it is enabling her.  CUT HER OFF!!! When she asks why, don't chew her out.  Just simply tell her that you will not take part in her ruining her marriage and neglecting her kids.  If she gets angry, walk away, hang up or close the door.  She DOES NEED a reality check before she gets herself in a world of crap.

[Heatherm4]

Honestly, if it were someone else, I would stay out of it but it's your sister and if she's going to be manipulative then I'd tell her off. She's neglecting her children, they already don't have one parent at home so they need their mother more than ever. I can see going out every once in a while and coming back at a decent time but not staying out all night and coming on to other guys.
I'd tell my brother in law if it were me. It's not fair that he works so hard for HER and their children and is disrespected in such a way.
She needs a reality check!