Aa
confused..
HI,
Im a 23 yo girl, living with my bf since almost 2 years now (at his parents house). I live here because most of the time it works pretty well, I mean, I get to see his parents for 1h a day maximum, and we've become pretty independent in our life here. We do our laundry sepparetly and now we eat our food made by ourselfs.
My mom isn't very happy of me living here, but she know my bf because he's gonne for two entirely summers at my counrty now and he stayed at my house. His parents also went there last summer, to travel a little in Mexico.
I love my bf very much, but i think we have some big differences in education termes...I mean, nothing to do with culture differences, but really with education.
He told me that when he was little and until the age of 14 or so, he was in love with his cousin, they kissed everytime and at age 14 they sort of touch each other, without making it. I think he thought I would be ok with it, but since he told me it goes aroung into my mind. He said that he realised it was wrong after he did it..for me there's nothing natural there. Their parents encouraged them, told them that that was cute. Her mother told me once he liked to kiss her cousin...
Im a 23 yo girl, living with my bf since almost 2 years now (at his parents house). I live here because most of the time it works pretty well, I mean, I get to see his parents for 1h a day maximum, and we've become pretty independent in our life here. We do our laundry sepparetly and now we eat our food made by ourselfs.
My mom isn't very happy of me living here, but she know my bf because he's gonne for two entirely summers at my counrty now and he stayed at my house. His parents also went there last summer, to travel a little in Mexico.
I love my bf very much, but i think we have some big differences in education termes...I mean, nothing to do with culture differences, but really with education.
He told me that when he was little and until the age of 14 or so, he was in love with his cousin, they kissed everytime and at age 14 they sort of touch each other, without making it. I think he thought I would be ok with it, but since he told me it goes aroung into my mind. He said that he realised it was wrong after he did it..for me there's nothing natural there. Their parents encouraged them, told them that that was cute. Her mother told me once he liked to kiss her cousin...
I think theres somethings he needs to sigure out for himself before you guys can move forward he need to figure if these feeling he was having for his cousin are real or just a phase. Also if he wants to be a man he needs to learn how to step up
thanks a lot for your response. I think you're right about saying he needs to learn how to step out defending me. We're still together because he said he would absolutly do it from now on, and that he was stupid blah blah..
About his cousin, he said they stopped after almost making it, because he realised he wasn't in love with her anymore, and that he thinks that she felt the same thing because she was ackard too after that.
I actually talked to him last night, I asked about it, and I really think he was sincere telling me all he remembers. I think he has blocked a lot about it.
He said; he might probably saw a movie with his cousin (who is almost 2 years younger than him), when he was little. They've found a lot of toys and movies from his cousin's father. And he said:¨¨ for me, it was normal. I thought that if adults in the movie did it then it was normal for us to do it too. He said his cousin asked him for it, and he started doing it but his cousin said stop because he was being hurt.
They've never spoke about it, nor as with her cousin. He says he prefers to leave past in the past, and that he cannot remember anything else. he wasnt mad but i think he cannot understand why I want to know all about it. And me, I dont know either if its helpfull in any sens to know all about it, but i just feel i need to understand what happend to get to understand who is him deeply.
I tend to do a problem about stupid things, but this is different it really schocks me out...
About his cousin, he said they stopped after almost making it, because he realised he wasn't in love with her anymore, and that he thinks that she felt the same thing because she was ackard too after that.
I actually talked to him last night, I asked about it, and I really think he was sincere telling me all he remembers. I think he has blocked a lot about it.
He said; he might probably saw a movie with his cousin (who is almost 2 years younger than him), when he was little. They've found a lot of toys and movies from his cousin's father. And he said:¨¨ for me, it was normal. I thought that if adults in the movie did it then it was normal for us to do it too. He said his cousin asked him for it, and he started doing it but his cousin said stop because he was being hurt.
They've never spoke about it, nor as with her cousin. He says he prefers to leave past in the past, and that he cannot remember anything else. he wasnt mad but i think he cannot understand why I want to know all about it. And me, I dont know either if its helpfull in any sens to know all about it, but i just feel i need to understand what happend to get to understand who is him deeply.
I tend to do a problem about stupid things, but this is different it really schocks me out...
Then he also told me he was about to penetrate his cousin, because he ask him for. I asked about his age and he says he dont remember, he said: I think I was 11....Anyway, I'm not scared of him being gay, its not that....I'm just scared about his family.
I was abused, when I was little. And I cannot manage people treating me without respect. Two weeks ago, I went with my bf and his parents to a party of my bf because she wot married (civil stuff), there were only about 14 people, and the cousin's father started asking me some stuff about my private life (is your bf good at bed? how does he moans when he makes you love??? and stuff like that) in front of everybody that I was all red and I didn't kew what to do. I expected my BF to defend me, but he said that he couldnt hear, I also expected his dad or even his mom (his sister) to came out and defend me, but they just stared at me and laughed.
They prevent me before going, in the car, that the UNCLE had a special humor, and that I should laugh at it and not to take it seriously. But I've never imagined something like that. He didn't even know me....he humiliated me in all ways.
Then I talked with my bf, i told him i wasn't ok, at that I would never like to see him again, that I'm uncunfurtable with his parents now, it just changed the way I saw them. He said he's sorry and that he was uncunfortable also with his uncle but that he just didn't had the pants to face him. I told him to grow up, and I was ready to leave him in the morning. BUt it just got worse, I had an epileptic vrisis and he says I told him that I was sorry. I do not remember anything about it, but the next day I couldnt move, we talked, he cryed for a second chance and here I am.
Today, there was a party, because another cousin its moving to Canada, he asked me to go, but I just didnt feel like seeing his family today, so...I said no. He left without trying a little more,. He left at 5pm and its midnight here. I'm all alone and all messed up
How should I manage all this to make it work with my boyfriend?
Ps, sorry about my english!
I was abused, when I was little. And I cannot manage people treating me without respect. Two weeks ago, I went with my bf and his parents to a party of my bf because she wot married (civil stuff), there were only about 14 people, and the cousin's father started asking me some stuff about my private life (is your bf good at bed? how does he moans when he makes you love??? and stuff like that) in front of everybody that I was all red and I didn't kew what to do. I expected my BF to defend me, but he said that he couldnt hear, I also expected his dad or even his mom (his sister) to came out and defend me, but they just stared at me and laughed.
They prevent me before going, in the car, that the UNCLE had a special humor, and that I should laugh at it and not to take it seriously. But I've never imagined something like that. He didn't even know me....he humiliated me in all ways.
Then I talked with my bf, i told him i wasn't ok, at that I would never like to see him again, that I'm uncunfurtable with his parents now, it just changed the way I saw them. He said he's sorry and that he was uncunfortable also with his uncle but that he just didn't had the pants to face him. I told him to grow up, and I was ready to leave him in the morning. BUt it just got worse, I had an epileptic vrisis and he says I told him that I was sorry. I do not remember anything about it, but the next day I couldnt move, we talked, he cryed for a second chance and here I am.
Today, there was a party, because another cousin its moving to Canada, he asked me to go, but I just didnt feel like seeing his family today, so...I said no. He left without trying a little more,. He left at 5pm and its midnight here. I'm all alone and all messed up
How should I manage all this to make it work with my boyfriend?
Ps, sorry about my english!
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