Aa
I am confusion incarnate.
Hi.
I'm an African American nearing my 50's.After multiple failed marriages,and many many wrong decisions regarding cheap thrills and one night stands,I am only NOW becoming completely confused as to my sexuality.I always 'thought' I was attracted women...but lately I have begun having the most intense almost realistic fantasies involving males (well,basically one male in particular over and over again).
Even looking back over my photos of old wives and girlfriends,one thing in particular stands out..they all look 'manly'.None were delicate or feminine or petite,they were all big strong women with masculine features.It dawns on me only now that it seems I was always looking for 'man' but never took the final step so to speak.
My question is this...can being gay take this long to be realised? I fear I have wasted half a century of my life making bad calls and only now want to embrace this next step.Is it possible that this is just a very late phase or a side effect of previous abuse and drug use?I know Im clutching at straws here but thoughts would be appreciated.
Tym
I'm an African American nearing my 50's.After multiple failed marriages,and many many wrong decisions regarding cheap thrills and one night stands,I am only NOW becoming completely confused as to my sexuality.I always 'thought' I was attracted women...but lately I have begun having the most intense almost realistic fantasies involving males (well,basically one male in particular over and over again).
Even looking back over my photos of old wives and girlfriends,one thing in particular stands out..they all look 'manly'.None were delicate or feminine or petite,they were all big strong women with masculine features.It dawns on me only now that it seems I was always looking for 'man' but never took the final step so to speak.
My question is this...can being gay take this long to be realised? I fear I have wasted half a century of my life making bad calls and only now want to embrace this next step.Is it possible that this is just a very late phase or a side effect of previous abuse and drug use?I know Im clutching at straws here but thoughts would be appreciated.
Tym
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Dear Tym,
All of the things you mention could be possible. Certainly people can find out quite late in life that they have been suppressing certain sexual/gender tendencies. I don’t know of drug use suppressing them, but that’s always possible as well.
If it were me, I’d explore all possibilities, but NOT COMMIT TO ANY OF THEM FOR A LONG TIME. It’s possible that your homosexual orientation is a passing thing, which, once explored and understood, will fade. Or several years from now you could be in a stable, rewarding gay relationship. You just don’t know.
Alternatively, you may have some issue with women and their femininity that you need to explore, which might account for the bad decisions and failed relationships. You won’t know until you sit down with a pro and explore your life in some depth. That would appear to be a good idea for you in any case, not because you’re particularly screwy, but because by your own admission you don’t know very much about yourself.
I know it hurts to realize one has wasted some years. But don’t get hung up on that! Look to the NEXT half century, not the last one. Make the right moves and you’ll land in a very good place.
Let me know if I can help with the process.
Sincerely,
Dr. P.
All of the things you mention could be possible. Certainly people can find out quite late in life that they have been suppressing certain sexual/gender tendencies. I don’t know of drug use suppressing them, but that’s always possible as well.
If it were me, I’d explore all possibilities, but NOT COMMIT TO ANY OF THEM FOR A LONG TIME. It’s possible that your homosexual orientation is a passing thing, which, once explored and understood, will fade. Or several years from now you could be in a stable, rewarding gay relationship. You just don’t know.
Alternatively, you may have some issue with women and their femininity that you need to explore, which might account for the bad decisions and failed relationships. You won’t know until you sit down with a pro and explore your life in some depth. That would appear to be a good idea for you in any case, not because you’re particularly screwy, but because by your own admission you don’t know very much about yourself.
I know it hurts to realize one has wasted some years. But don’t get hung up on that! Look to the NEXT half century, not the last one. Make the right moves and you’ll land in a very good place.
Let me know if I can help with the process.
Sincerely,
Dr. P.
Dear Tym,
All of the things you mention could be possible. Certainly people can find out quite late in life that they have been suppressing certain sexual/gender tendencies. I don’t know of drug use suppressing them, but that’s always possible as well.
If it were me, I’d explore all possibilities, but NOT COMMIT TO ANY OF THEM FOR A LONG TIME. It’s possible that your homosexual orientation is a passing thing, which, once explored and understood, will fade. Or several years from now you could be in a stable, rewarding gay relationship. You just don’t know.
Alternatively, you may have some issue with women and their femininity that you need to explore, which might account for the bad decisions and failed relationships. You won’t know until you sit down with a pro and explore your life in some depth. That would appear to be a good idea for you in any case, not because you’re particularly screwy, but because by your own admission you don’t know very much about yourself.
I know it hurts to realize one has wasted some years. But don’t get hung up on that! Look to the NEXT half century, not the last one. Make the right moves and you’ll land in a very good place.
Let me know if I can help with the process.
Sincerely,
Dr. P.
All of the things you mention could be possible. Certainly people can find out quite late in life that they have been suppressing certain sexual/gender tendencies. I don’t know of drug use suppressing them, but that’s always possible as well.
If it were me, I’d explore all possibilities, but NOT COMMIT TO ANY OF THEM FOR A LONG TIME. It’s possible that your homosexual orientation is a passing thing, which, once explored and understood, will fade. Or several years from now you could be in a stable, rewarding gay relationship. You just don’t know.
Alternatively, you may have some issue with women and their femininity that you need to explore, which might account for the bad decisions and failed relationships. You won’t know until you sit down with a pro and explore your life in some depth. That would appear to be a good idea for you in any case, not because you’re particularly screwy, but because by your own admission you don’t know very much about yourself.
I know it hurts to realize one has wasted some years. But don’t get hung up on that! Look to the NEXT half century, not the last one. Make the right moves and you’ll land in a very good place.
Let me know if I can help with the process.
Sincerely,
Dr. P.
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