Old relationship ruining new...help...

[AllieJ]

About 4 monthes ago my and my ex of 2 1/2 years broke up(2 of which we shared a home togather). It was a "long time coming" break up that started about 1 year ago. So when we finally did, it was a relief. As soon as it was final i packed the stuff i needed and have been gone ever since. I felt good about my self again, started getting my nails done. Started getting my hair done on a reg. basis, and tanning. I felt hot! on top of the worl soooo over him and his bull. I met about 20 new guys! UNTIL last week... I called him to let him know that i needed to come over and get some stuff (I still havent offically moved out). Everything was fine( during said conversation, he asked if i had a new BF). Until sat, my Ex texted me and said.. I LOVE YOU. I texted him back and told him "I love you too". Because i do, im not in love with him though. Meanwhile in my life about a month ago i met the worlds best match for me. We having been spending amazing time togather. Well yesterday (monday) i called my Ex and told him i needed to come over i get some stuff, he was really weird and i asked him, do you have a new GF..is that why i cant just come over whenever. He insisted no. so i told him i would call him later when i knew what time. Later that night i called him and went over. He called me right as i was pulling up as said your stuff is on the counter. im going to bed. when i walked in he was in the kitchen and i told him i needed to go upstairs to get a bathing suit. he insisted that i couldnt and i insisted "you have someone up there dont you" he kept replying no.. and i kept saying i dont care if you have a GF i just need my stuff. He finally agreed to let me get it. AND THERE SHE WAS....some wierd nerdy chick all rolled up in my bed sheets in my bed. I acted cool, got my stuff was really nice. Basicailly acted like, they were just friends. (well for the most part). While he was sitting on the bed next to her, i kinda slipped and said "hey you know if makes you feel better, i just came from my boyfriends house; so were all moving on" was very sweet, congratulate them and went down stairs. I gave my ex a kiss on the cheek and told him to not be such a stranger. SOUNDS PEACHIE RIGHT....NO! I have these feelings of rejection all over again, so many emotions that i cant even focus on my new relationship. I dont want my ex.... why am i so jealous. My new boy is freaking amazing.. HOW DO I KEEP ON TRUCKING...HELP...

[mami1323]

I agree with the posters above, and look if you're really desperate to get your stuff back than just send a friend to pick it up for you.  Move on, there was no need to go and see him other than you probably wanted to flaunt your new looks in front of him.  Not that there is anything wrong with that but you did a make over for yourself not for him.  Take a break from relationships and enjoy your new found singlehood.  Don't worry about what he is doing just focus on moving on.

[bip]

hello

[barn babe]

"unless we are talking expensive things, family heirlooms, dolce shoes, lol, what the heck do you need to go back and get your stuff and go through that?"

No woman in her right mind leaves her Manolos at the "ex's" place. Not going to happen. So, yeah, I agree with you. Possessions can be replaced. Your dignity is worth more than your Gap jeans, or whatever.

Family heirlooms!  Oh, yeah, she took the "silver" over there to show him! Christ, that's funny, perty. I honestly didn't think you had it in you.

"i dont get his texting you. i dont get it at all."

LMAO.  Apparently, neither does she.

"sure you could go to his funeral should he pass (joke!!)"

OP, if you do this, definitely "out-hat" the current girlfriend. A funeral is one of the few places you can get away with an outrageous Bella Abzug type of hat.

"but other than he doesnt exist to you anymore."

But those sheets still do, I guess.

Oh, sh*t, carry on. I just needed the laugh.

[pertykitty]

unless we are talking expensive things, family heirlooms, dolce shoes, lol, what the heck do you need to go back and get your stuff and go through that? i dont get his texting you. i dont get it at all. you said you are feeling hot and have a few handful of men that you can date. so do it!! if things were bad for a year, then it will not get better. you both have new people in your life, be done with him. dont return texts, calls, nothing! sure you could go to his funeral should he pass (joke!!) but other than he doesnt exist to you anymore.

[bip]

You tell it like it is! (LOL)

[barn babe]

Why are you telling an ex you still love him? Why are you even in contact with him by "texting?"  Just forget about him.  

I agree about not jumping into anything serious.  Just date the 20 guys  that you met on a casual basis  and forget about the ex.

The two of you sound like you are manipulating one another. Let it go.

Also, no "bathing suit" is worth the cost of being manipulated by somebody. And they weren't "your" sheets if you didn't live in that house any longer, so who cares who is rolling around in them?  I can't believe you didn't just grab whatever was boxed up and simply leave.  

[allee0481]

hey what are you two doing with each other?  Perhaps you just delight in playing peekaboo in each other's life.  I guess it's not about the stuffs you left in his place that keeps you going there.  It's simply an excuse to know the latest buzz in his life, Nosy :).

Get on with your life and don't entertain things that will just confuse your feelings.  If you truly wanna call it quits with him, stop hitching.  Establish a mindset for cheesake.  Or a mantra that will set your focus and not get distracted by the rubbles of your broken relationship he keeps on showering you and vice versa.  

I've had some unpleasant experiences in the past, seems like the right one for me has not yet arrived.  

This mantra by Blondie's song has always worked for me:
  
"One way or another, I'm gonna find ya'
I'm gonna getcha, I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha
One way or another, I'm gonna win ya..."

Find your own and feel better reciting it or singing it, whichever.

I guess more than your heart/hypothalamus that is in question, it's your ego that truly drives you to still somehow keep on banging in his life, because you simply cannot accept the possibility that he could just replace you that easy.  You want to see him get so affected with your breakup.  Don't you?  Somehow deep inside you, you hope that one day he'll beg to be with you again.  Or that you wanna see him miserable without you in his life.  Isn't it?


I believe that everything is always about mindset and mantra complementing each other.

MOVE ON...I think you're better off without him.

[bip]

You are AWESOME!!!

[allee0481]

hello..

[anxiousmomtobe?]

Your relationship is barely over.... you should take some time and just be single, I wouldn't jump into another relationship.  Especially since you obviously still have to work through your feelings with your ex.

And for goodness sake, get all your **** out of HIS house.  That is unfair and it is keeping you both in limbo.

[bip]

Im sure it's hard getting over someone.  You both sound like your going different ways. Im sure you were upset seeing that girl there but you and him broke up.  You met a guy hopefully it will work out with him. It's easy said then done. Try not to call your EX.  You went there got your stuff and You saw him with a women. Don't get jeoulous.   I would try to not to call him and go over there it's better cause you will not get upset. You are probably fine when you don't hear from him or see him. As soon as you hear from him Im sure you get feelings.  You have a long life ahead and it's plenty out there. You will find the right one for you.

Good Luck!!!!