Am I over it or is it just a phase?

[RockChalk]

I have been seeing the guy I'm with for about 3 months and up until a week ago I was incredibly happy and wouldn't change a thing about our relationship. We live about 45 minutes apart and due to our schedules we only see each other on the weekends and the occasional weekday. Before last week, the work week would drag on as I anticipated getting to see him and I would make up excuses why I needed to go to his town so we could hang out. Now, I am making excuses why I can't hang out with him when the weekend rolls around. Nothing changed in our relationship. He has all the traits I would possibly want in a man, he's honest, he's reliable, we have a fantastic time together and the sex is amazing. However, lately I feel repulsed when he touches me and annoyed when he calls. I'm 24 and I feel like this is the most mature relationship I have ever been in and I can't tell if I just don't want to be with him or if I am just freaking out because it is starting to get serious. Is this just a relationship hump that I need to get over or was I just glad to have someone reliable to have fun with and now that it is becoming serious I want out? Any advice?

[mayflowers]

You are only 24, you may not want to be committed to anyone right now.  That's still quite young these days.  What is so wrong about that???  People automatically assume that they have commitment issues when then don't.   I wasn't ready to commit for a long time, some ppl convinced me I had all sorts of issues abt wanting a challenge, but you know what?  That is all BS.  When you finally meet the right guy, you'll know it.  You'll be able to make that transition from single to commitment.  I really believe it's abt meeting the right guy who gives you that excitement yet is also makes you only want HIM.  Don't beat yourself up over being unable to find that fire for this guy or maybe even the next few men you meet.  Good luck!

[RockChalk]

Thanks for your advice, I really appreciate it. I have a history of wanting what I can't have and I'm afraid that now that I have him I don't want him anymore. I am also afraid of losing a great guy because I can't grow up. Thanks again for your responses!

[girliegrl1723]

thats really something you need to figure out. none of us can tell you if you are avoiding him for a reason or on purpose. only you know that. i can tell you that it is very common for this to happen in any realtionship. i went through this with my now husband after that new and exciting period wore off, i thought i was over it, but i gave him and us a chance and it turned out pretty good. given the fact that it has only been 3 months, no one would expect you to know just yet if he's the "one". do you have a history of backing out of or avoiding potentially serious relationships? if so, then maybe that is what you're doing. it seems drastic though that all of a sudden, after having loved sex with him before, you are repulesed by even his touch now, thats doesn't sound too promising. given the fact that you even took the time to post this question, i would suggest giving it some time. maybe just another week or two and see him a few more times, then make your decision. unfortunately, its one only you can make. good luck.

[mayflowers]

Sounds like the newness is wearing off and you're getting bored.  He may have everything you want in a man, but it doesn't mean he is the MAN for you.  I always say listen to your gut...it's telling you something important.