Aa
Attraction...
What are ways to attract someone if you've not been attracted or asked out by anyone in a long time?
What if you don't go out alone alot, should you start doing so now?
If you're w/ another man though, what body language could you demonstrate that you're "available"?
What if it has been YEARS since you've been asked out? Is something WRONG w/YOU? What could you change then?
Please help...
What if you don't go out alone alot, should you start doing so now?
If you're w/ another man though, what body language could you demonstrate that you're "available"?
What if it has been YEARS since you've been asked out? Is something WRONG w/YOU? What could you change then?
Please help...
COMMUNITY LEADER
Some very good advice here. I agree that going out with one guy friend can look like you are an item. Going out with a group of friends, guys and girls is good or a group of girls only------- but just going out is a good idea. I think being alone is helpful too, to be honest. No, not at the night spots but at the places where you might meet someone interesting that likes some of the same things you do. Large libraries are good. I know that sounds crazy, but I met all kinds of people in the library. Look for things to join that require interaction. For example, a book club. All kinds of places have book clubs (besides the library, which should)---- I did one that was run by a wine store/book store for a while. Wine and discussion on books-------- very enjoyable and comfortable for striking up conversations. Also, think of places men go. Sports bars on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon-------- guy heaven. Root for a team and strike up a conversation. Go with a girlfriend to a game of a pro team in your city--------- again, guy heaven. There's girls there too, but LOTS of men.
Why someone doesn't get asked out is always a mystery to me. I have wondered if it is the signal we send off. So work on your signal. I think it is good to be open and friendly and look at every occasion as a chance to practice your guy girl interaction.
I wish you luck. I think just getting out there and making the effort helps so much. I've heard guys talk about it like it is a numbers game. Talk to so many girls and eventually one will be the one. Go get em!!
Why someone doesn't get asked out is always a mystery to me. I have wondered if it is the signal we send off. So work on your signal. I think it is good to be open and friendly and look at every occasion as a chance to practice your guy girl interaction.
I wish you luck. I think just getting out there and making the effort helps so much. I've heard guys talk about it like it is a numbers game. Talk to so many girls and eventually one will be the one. Go get em!!
omg I meant to put "seeing me talking to another guy" not girl. Like i said ...long day :'(. but I agree with penswriter on everything else, lol
Oh I see what you mean (long day) but to a guy a group of girls is going to be more approachable than a girl and a guy...my DH didn't want to approach me about a date when he first met me because he saw me with my cousin (who looks nothing like me) and thought we were an item. boy was he thrilled to find out he was wrong...and it was just a matter of him seeing me talking to another girl, because obviously there were no "signals" between us.
I have to disagree with Ashleen...I go out with my girl friends ALL the time and not one of us is single. In fact only one of my friends is engaged, the rest of us are married.
Just...go out and do things. Go to a museum, an art gallery, take up classes of some sort (dancing, painting, cooking). go to the gym (there are always single guys at the gym...) get a dog and go to the park (or borrow one...there are also lots of single guys at the park, my pup and i get hit on all the time when we go to the dog park up the street and i've only had her for 2 weeks...). Don't try so hard. If you see someone you're attracted to just go up to him and say hi. strike up a conversation. Just be laid back and relaxed. Being to clingy, desperate..etc etc etc can cause a guy to run the opposite direction REALLY fast.
Just...go out and do things. Go to a museum, an art gallery, take up classes of some sort (dancing, painting, cooking). go to the gym (there are always single guys at the gym...) get a dog and go to the park (or borrow one...there are also lots of single guys at the park, my pup and i get hit on all the time when we go to the dog park up the street and i've only had her for 2 weeks...). Don't try so hard. If you see someone you're attracted to just go up to him and say hi. strike up a conversation. Just be laid back and relaxed. Being to clingy, desperate..etc etc etc can cause a guy to run the opposite direction REALLY fast.
I would recommend going out with some girl friends....it helps get out the message that you're not taken.
The best way to dress is classy, sophisticated, with a hint of sexuality. That gets out the message that you're not desperate or cheap, but you're considering yourself available. How you achieve this look depends on a lot of things, like iam1butterfly said; there are a lot of components that contribute to a successful look, including how comfortable you appear and how ready you are with a smile or how comfortable you are with eye contact. remember to be yourself, or you're starting out any potential relationship with a lie...dress in something you feel comfortable in, but try to remember that you ARE in a sense advertising yourself (not sexually, but rather as a potential partner), and if you were looking at a billboard that had nothing to catch your eye, it most likely wouldn't get a second glance.
there's definitely nothing wrong with you if you're in a "dry spell". sometimes women forget that one of the side effects of women's lib is that the woman is expected in a lot of cases to show interest and be the instigator in the beginning....i.e. YOU ask HIM out. men sometimes worry about appearing too aggressive, so they hold back, and nowadays a woman is expected to be able to take control of her relationships and introduce herself and/or ask a guy for a date. if you're more traditional then consider STARTING the ball rolling(asking for a first date) and then handing over the reins..i.e. letting him ask for a second and a third date.
just hang in there and don't give up hope. the worst thing about being lonely is that if you look too hard you won't find it..try to remember to give yourself time and patience.
The best way to dress is classy, sophisticated, with a hint of sexuality. That gets out the message that you're not desperate or cheap, but you're considering yourself available. How you achieve this look depends on a lot of things, like iam1butterfly said; there are a lot of components that contribute to a successful look, including how comfortable you appear and how ready you are with a smile or how comfortable you are with eye contact. remember to be yourself, or you're starting out any potential relationship with a lie...dress in something you feel comfortable in, but try to remember that you ARE in a sense advertising yourself (not sexually, but rather as a potential partner), and if you were looking at a billboard that had nothing to catch your eye, it most likely wouldn't get a second glance.
there's definitely nothing wrong with you if you're in a "dry spell". sometimes women forget that one of the side effects of women's lib is that the woman is expected in a lot of cases to show interest and be the instigator in the beginning....i.e. YOU ask HIM out. men sometimes worry about appearing too aggressive, so they hold back, and nowadays a woman is expected to be able to take control of her relationships and introduce herself and/or ask a guy for a date. if you're more traditional then consider STARTING the ball rolling(asking for a first date) and then handing over the reins..i.e. letting him ask for a second and a third date.
just hang in there and don't give up hope. the worst thing about being lonely is that if you look too hard you won't find it..try to remember to give yourself time and patience.
The way that you present yourself can either attract or detract someone's interest.
It can be clothes, hairstyle, body type and body language. And when you get past
all of that, it's whatever comes out of the mouth of the individual which, reflects one's personality and whether or not the person is even interested. Those are some of the things that make impressions. And, it's those impressions and the level of comfort that gets people's interest.
Anyway, if you're a woman and you go out with a man... I would imagine that most people would assume that the two of you are an "item." And, that both person's are unavailable.
As for not being asked out... it's hard to say why. There can be a number of reasons for that. Many people go through dry spells... I know I have!
It can be clothes, hairstyle, body type and body language. And when you get past
all of that, it's whatever comes out of the mouth of the individual which, reflects one's personality and whether or not the person is even interested. Those are some of the things that make impressions. And, it's those impressions and the level of comfort that gets people's interest.
Anyway, if you're a woman and you go out with a man... I would imagine that most people would assume that the two of you are an "item." And, that both person's are unavailable.
As for not being asked out... it's hard to say why. There can be a number of reasons for that. Many people go through dry spells... I know I have!
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Relationships Community
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
