No orgasms

[JenniJuice]

I am almost 20 years old, and I have never experienced an orgasm by a man. By masturbating, I can achieve one pretty fast, but when I get with my boyfriend, I never have one. Any suggestions?

[zelskid]

same

[PamJohnson]

I am 48 yrs old and can not have an orgasm through intercourse. I never have been able too. I can get myself off and if a guy goes down on me I can get off but that's the only way. Why is that and what wrong with me. What can I do for that so I can.

[onlyme29]

What is the difference between reaching climax and having orgasm?? I'm a confused between the two!!

[lovelygal]

Sweety darling,

You have to let yourself go and explore whatever and enjoy yourself and continually ask the guy if your okay with this and that.  Ask him "Do you want to keep this up or do you want it fast." Tell him what you feel for the moment like, "No, babe not yet, not yet." Its a start girl.  be adventurous....Open communication in between sex... the key to a successful ORGASM

[slow_healer]

I think you've identified a big part of it right there - not feeling comfortable. The more you feel like you have to perform, the less likely you will (been there, not fun). Your partner has to accept that even in the best circumstances you may not necessarily orgasm. If it's a problem for him, then it's HIS problem. Women's bodies are NOT performance machines.

However, it doesn't sound like your BF is like that. You guys need to focus on how to make you feel more comfortable. Even emotional stress can throw things off (if you're fighting, stressed about money, etc.)

Another barrier between couples is feeling they can admit what they like without being rejected or judged (e.g. some women might like their partner to play with their anus or something in order to climax, but are too embarrassed to ask). GOOD sex between two people generally entails very intimate openness like that. It doesn't mean you have to tell him everything, but do you feel like you can be honest with him about what YOU need?

[kingmike39]

Visit bettydodson.com she talks about woman who don't have orgasms with men, but can with masturbation. Its normal.

[slow_healer]

Just want to add, you're worried about if it feels good for him? It's a reciprocal relationship. Not everything feels good for everyone, but sometimes we do it anyway because it makes US happy to know that we are making our PARTNER feel so good. If he's in pain, yes stop and think of something else. But if he's just getting bored and guilting you over it, then he's not being supportive and that's probably why you're not feeling comfortable. My partner will stimulate me with his fingers for 10-20 min JUST TO FEEL the excitement of my orgasm. And I will give him fellatio for however long it takes to feel him orgasm. Neither activity is particularly enjoyable for the giver - seeing the recipient in ecstacy is the reward.

[JenniJuice]

I find it very hard to relax during sex, so maybe that is part of it? I just can't but to think "Does this feel right for him?" I'm more worried about if its feeling good for him, than for me..

[caseys mommy]

Also, don't forget about oral sex. It's a great way to get things started and makes sex much more enjoyable.

[slow_healer]

Have you tried mutually masturbating or having him help you masturbate as a start? Clearly you know what works for you, so the first step may be finding a comfortable way to incorporate that into your sexual activity. Once he can see what you like, you can teach him. Make sure he understands to be patient, because (as a woman) I know sometimes the pressure to perform can really diffuse the whole process. I hope this helps!