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Broken Heart
I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years about 2 weeks ago. We started having real problems at the beginning of the summer so I decided to try and make it work on his terms but that wasn't making me happy. He isn't ready for the next step ...an engagement or even a discussion about the future. He was my best friend and a good person but I had to leave because he wouldn't talk about a future with me and he wasn't being affectionate.
Some days are better than others but today has been really hard. I am hurting so bad inside and I really miss hiim but I know it will just be harder if I call him. It feels like a crushing depression. Any advise on how to get through this and move forward.
Some days are better than others but today has been really hard. I am hurting so bad inside and I really miss hiim but I know it will just be harder if I call him. It feels like a crushing depression. Any advise on how to get through this and move forward.
Wow I read ur post and I'm in exactly the same situation! I know how terrible you feel, and there are up's and down, and also a constant feeling of wanting to talk with the other person. I agree with the posts above, exercise can really help, I went for a swim today and I feel as though I am coping better today. These forums also help, when I really feel like calling him, I've gone on here or talked to my mum. Its hard not to call, but I think its healthier in the long run. Especially if its an issue with commitment, and if he's not calling you, thats reassurance you shouldnt be the one calling.
Its depends on what other relationship problems you had, but many of mine were related to commitment, and my bf of three 3yrs doesnt ever talk about the future and has become much less affectionate aswell. It may be a maturity thing, or deeper issues, but at the end of the day I think we need to make ourselves happy first. I believe that if you set love free, its its truly real, it will come back to you, and if not it was never yours to begin with. What I plan to do, is just move on with my life and try make myself happy, and whatever happens, happens. It sounds like thats what your trying to do, so good luck with it. A good support system, and imaging yourself happy and laughing in the future is what helps me. Also, a while ago (before the problems) I had written where I pictured myself in 2 yrs (not writing about whether you in a relationship or not) and set that as my goal, with where I want to be as an individual. Maybe that may help? Nows a great chance to find out who you are and what you want XX
Its depends on what other relationship problems you had, but many of mine were related to commitment, and my bf of three 3yrs doesnt ever talk about the future and has become much less affectionate aswell. It may be a maturity thing, or deeper issues, but at the end of the day I think we need to make ourselves happy first. I believe that if you set love free, its its truly real, it will come back to you, and if not it was never yours to begin with. What I plan to do, is just move on with my life and try make myself happy, and whatever happens, happens. It sounds like thats what your trying to do, so good luck with it. A good support system, and imaging yourself happy and laughing in the future is what helps me. Also, a while ago (before the problems) I had written where I pictured myself in 2 yrs (not writing about whether you in a relationship or not) and set that as my goal, with where I want to be as an individual. Maybe that may help? Nows a great chance to find out who you are and what you want XX
Dont worry, you will find someone who you are really supposed to be with and you will get married some day.
you will be so happy!
friends of mine thought it was all over and they had to get back together with their ex somehow, but they found someone, it just takes some time. (this happened to two of my friends, and my wife).
Hang in there!
you will be so happy!
friends of mine thought it was all over and they had to get back together with their ex somehow, but they found someone, it just takes some time. (this happened to two of my friends, and my wife).
Hang in there!
p.s. I'm sure that at the right time, Mr. Wonderful is right around the corner thankful that you are single and can't wait to meet you :) It will happen in time. Judy
I'm so sorry that you are going through a heart break. When we experience a loss, it's like a death. As you have loss someone that you loved very much and it will be necessary to experience the stages of the grief process, which will be necessary for you to begin to heal. It's going to be tough, but have faith in yourself that yes, you can and will overcome this painful experience. They are sooo difficult, painful and if not handled properly can leave you emotionally dysfunctional.
I want to tell you that there is always "hope". Although you might not see it right now, there is always hope. I always say, that the best thing that God created was one da after another, so the sun always rises after the storm.
Start by accepting what you can't change and accept that it is now beyond what you can do. Take some quite time for yourself to just relax, reflect, cry, but not to the point where depression is going to set in and you will not be able to function normally.
Put away everything and anything that is going to remind you of him and effect the healing process by triggering a relapse. Relapse will happen, but that is also part of the healing process. Change your cell phone number if necessary. As hard as it will be, change your number. I had to do that and although I did struggle, it was a small step to avoid contact or communication with him.
It's very important to inform friends and family, that you would appreciate their support in this breakup and not bring him up in conversations.
Start looking at yourself within. Start to like yourself for who you are and know that people will accept you and appreciate you for who you are. Start making a plan of your time, start jogging, running, exercising, take a dance class, go back to school, ask youself, what is it that I like to do and very slowly, you will be taking another step towards healing and moving forward with your life. Also, make sure to surround yourself with good people, friends and family and finally, take out a pieace of paper and write down all the terrible thinkgs he said and did and everytime you have that yearning for him, pull out that paper as a reminder why you are no longer with him.
You are going to be alright, one day at a time.
I want to tell you that there is always "hope". Although you might not see it right now, there is always hope. I always say, that the best thing that God created was one da after another, so the sun always rises after the storm.
Start by accepting what you can't change and accept that it is now beyond what you can do. Take some quite time for yourself to just relax, reflect, cry, but not to the point where depression is going to set in and you will not be able to function normally.
Put away everything and anything that is going to remind you of him and effect the healing process by triggering a relapse. Relapse will happen, but that is also part of the healing process. Change your cell phone number if necessary. As hard as it will be, change your number. I had to do that and although I did struggle, it was a small step to avoid contact or communication with him.
It's very important to inform friends and family, that you would appreciate their support in this breakup and not bring him up in conversations.
Start looking at yourself within. Start to like yourself for who you are and know that people will accept you and appreciate you for who you are. Start making a plan of your time, start jogging, running, exercising, take a dance class, go back to school, ask youself, what is it that I like to do and very slowly, you will be taking another step towards healing and moving forward with your life. Also, make sure to surround yourself with good people, friends and family and finally, take out a pieace of paper and write down all the terrible thinkgs he said and did and everytime you have that yearning for him, pull out that paper as a reminder why you are no longer with him.
You are going to be alright, one day at a time.
You just have to keep reminding yourself of the reason why you broke up in the first place. Find something to distract you. When I would break up with someone I would immerse (sp.?) myself in the gym. I would focus on looking good physically and the better I looked, the better I felt. Plus, it would keep my mind off of things. Heart break takes time, find some friends that are supportive and spend time with them. Go out, have dinner, go on vacations, read a good book, see some great movies. After awhile it will get easier. Time heals all wounds is the saying. Good luck.
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