Well, as you all know, my boyfriend and I broke up last night. I have been doing a lot of thinking today why every relationship I seem to have seems unhealthy. The answer is because I am codependent upon all of these men. I always have been, and this one was no exception. Even now, after the fight was caused by his lying and constant broken promises, I feel guilty and responsible and sad. He feels none of the above. He feels that everything is my fault. I need to detach myself from this man and do what is healthy and right for me. Why should I feel such hurt over someone that treats me badly and lies to me? That is codependent behavior. I am realizing that my happiness is purely based on him. Like the birthday weekend last weekend. Him not being there ruined my birthday. I still had plans, but I let his absence ruin them. I was not happy. Then now. I am the wounded party, yet he has made me feel awful and depressed. I am so scared to be without him. Why? Am I so bad that I can't even spend time by myself? I have some serious thinking to do.