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Feeling Sorry After Oral
I'm a married male with a lovely wife. My favorite sexual act is "irrumatio," the use of the partner's mouth as a passive sexual device (you know what I mean). I feel the utmost emotional & physical sensation by performing irrumatio on my wife, who motionlessly lies down until I finish. Just looking at my wife while performing irrumatio makes me the happiest man. Mind you, I've never ever been rough while doing irrumatio.
HOWEVER, after I finish, I always feel sorry for her. I would say to myself, "I won't do it again" only to do it again. My wife is candid about what she likes and dislikes in sex. If she dislikes something, she will say so. She's never said anything about my irrumatio. She's never refused it. BUT, I don't know why I feel sorry for her. Maybe, part of me subconciously thinks I should not do it. I tried to talk about it with my wife, but couldn't start the conversation. Any advice?
HOWEVER, after I finish, I always feel sorry for her. I would say to myself, "I won't do it again" only to do it again. My wife is candid about what she likes and dislikes in sex. If she dislikes something, she will say so. She's never said anything about my irrumatio. She's never refused it. BUT, I don't know why I feel sorry for her. Maybe, part of me subconciously thinks I should not do it. I tried to talk about it with my wife, but couldn't start the conversation. Any advice?
Wow, I didn't know there was a specific term for that. I have an ex that use to do that with me. I enjoyed it, if he didn't try to thrust it all the way down my throat. Ask her if she enjoys it or only does it to please you. If she's open about things then it shouldn't be hard to talk about this.
ask her what she would like maybe. use that as an opener to how does it feel when i.... etc.
Perty - haha. I had to look it up too - it sounds like oral is more "active", and this is very passive. But basically the same thing.
For Feeling Sorry - If you feel guilty, I think you should just tell her how much you know that can't be the best part of sex for her, but it sends you to the moon, and you really appreciate how giving she is to treat you like that, and you think she's the sexiest woman alive. Because I think all that's true.
I think that's why most women do that - I don't think many women actually enjoy it. They do it because they know it makes their men wild, and it's kind of a gift.
She wants to do it, to make you happy. ;D
For Feeling Sorry - If you feel guilty, I think you should just tell her how much you know that can't be the best part of sex for her, but it sends you to the moon, and you really appreciate how giving she is to treat you like that, and you think she's the sexiest woman alive. Because I think all that's true.
I think that's why most women do that - I don't think many women actually enjoy it. They do it because they know it makes their men wild, and it's kind of a gift.
She wants to do it, to make you happy. ;D
well, unless your wife's face is beared you wouldn't mistake it for a vagina, especially with the crosswise slit.
anyway, yours is a very odd thing....but i like it and probably i would even try it someday.
anyway, yours is a very odd thing....but i like it and probably i would even try it someday.
Could it be guilt? The worst thing I would ever want to find out (in the bedroom) is that something I like doing to my partner makes them feel uncomfortable, objectified, etc.
I had to look up the word, btw - didn't realize there was a specific term for it, lol. In pornography irrumatio is seen as an aggressive and possibly quite demeaning act. Although you don't feel that way about it, because it's portrayed that way might be where these feelings are coming from? (just a suggestion) Sometimes we do like to do things to our partner that we genuinely find pleasurable, but because society tells us it's deviant, that baggage/idea that it's somehow wrong/disrespectful can keep us from enjoying it. e.g. some people like to tie up their partners to keep things spicy - doesn't mean it's necessarily wrong so long as it's mutual.
If it's bothering you, I would still try to talk to her about it. Tell her you're worried how she feels, if she's really comfortable, etc. Ideally she should be able to recognize that you're looking for reassurrance that it IS mutual and that she enjoys being able to give/share that pleasure with you.
I had to look up the word, btw - didn't realize there was a specific term for it, lol. In pornography irrumatio is seen as an aggressive and possibly quite demeaning act. Although you don't feel that way about it, because it's portrayed that way might be where these feelings are coming from? (just a suggestion) Sometimes we do like to do things to our partner that we genuinely find pleasurable, but because society tells us it's deviant, that baggage/idea that it's somehow wrong/disrespectful can keep us from enjoying it. e.g. some people like to tie up their partners to keep things spicy - doesn't mean it's necessarily wrong so long as it's mutual.
If it's bothering you, I would still try to talk to her about it. Tell her you're worried how she feels, if she's really comfortable, etc. Ideally she should be able to recognize that you're looking for reassurrance that it IS mutual and that she enjoys being able to give/share that pleasure with you.
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