Avas mom - It's not wrong to want at least some form of commitment from your bf...you know, you can get promise rings and they are not that expensive. That way, you two are making an effort to work things out with each others. Its showing the world that you're promised to each other and I think that's very sweet. Try it. You can buy then anywhere.
Laura, that's true abt ppl not trying and giving up to easily. I always say that marriage is not for the faint of heart. We are in such throw away society and some ppl feel that if it's not working, oh well, just leave (like me). Now I realize that when you make a commitment, it's really for better or worse and hopefully you'll both come out happy in the end. Like the way you and your hubby worked it out and probably matured a bit and now have a great marriage.
They say divorce is too easy but I don't know abt that. I made out ok in my divorce but I didn't care a whole lot abt the money part. I didn't expect to feel like such a failure and to feel so bad about letting people down (like our families). That part was really hard & I wasn't warned abt it. I don't know how ppl can go through 2 or 3 times. I'm just not that strong.
You know, not all marriages are bad, and some are great. My husbands sister has a baby with her boyfriend and they live together. He won't propose to her because he has been married once and got screwed out of a bunch of money. His parents own a very big company, and I guess his previous wife put him through the cleaners. Well, he won't marry my husbands sister, and she personally deals with it (I think its because she is after his money and she will go along with whatever). Anyways it seems like many people these days aren't getting married for some reason. I will tell you one thing that if my husband and I weren't married when we were having issues before, I would have been long gone, but since we were married and it takes more to get divorced then just moving out, our marriage lasted and made it. I am glad too because our marriage is great and has been for about 4 years now, we have been married for 6.5.
There maybe a 50% divorce rate, but I think it's because many people give up way too early and don't want to try. I dont' agree with abuse or cheating though.
No i def am right with you mayflower, i really am in no rush to get married. And i dont think i could marry my bf because i KNOW it would end in divorce eventually. But i guess my prob is id atleast like to have a ring or something that shows commitment, is that wrong?
Ladies, marriage isn't all that it's cracked up to be. I've made that trip and to be honest, it doesn't change your feelings abt the person. You are just bound together by a legal document that will take lawyers & money to get out of it. If you read the statistics, at least 50% end in divorce. The rest could be cheating or unhappy or whatever. I'm in no hurry to make that trip again. I like having my own space & I like spending time with someone when it suits us. If I had my way, I'd be engaged forever with a huge diamond. JK.
I do know some good marriages and those are people that are pretty realistic and emotionally mature. Yet, if people have children together, marriage is good b/c it provides protection for that child - monetary, medical, emotional. This isn't to say that single parents can't do a great job, it's just harder and they will have to create a support system with friends & family.
I know exactly what you mean. My brother got married in June. He was with his gf maybe 5-6 mos before he proposed, they planned a wedding and got married all with 2 yrs. And i havent been proposed to in 5 yrs>! Also im with you on the fighting, ours got alot worse after our baby too. Sometimes i think maybe i dont wanna marry him though. so i guess its good he hasnt proposed yet.
Ya 4 years is a long time but I learned dont rush into anything I knew down the road he was going to ask me when he was ready........I knew mt husband was the right one for me cause he told me he loved me, respect me, and never rushed me into anything.........Im glad I met him. Our love is still strong and we are very happy together and 2 handsome boyz, and I cant for get my babtgirl cookie.( my dog...